without giving you a reason can anyone tell me how to stop this pain im getting in the pit of my gut
2006-07-23 07:35:29 · 27 answers · asked by smiff78 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
and your baby without giving you a reason can anyone tell me how to stop the pain
2006-07-23 07:36:15 · update #1
you can't really cope right now and that's ok. get friends and family round you. you need lots of support. until you find out why you can't begin to process this. don't be on your own. go and stay with someone and allow yourself to feel really bad. you will get through this and you'll be stronger but for now let yourself be weak and get other's to help. try ringing samaritans they may just have some local contact numbers to give you some support or find your local women's centre. they have counsellors etc on hand for advice. you're man will hav to tell you why eventually and you will get through. sams number is 08457 90 90 90 also go and have a chat with your doctor. I'm really sorry you must feel so devastated. big hug from me for what it's worth sis x
2006-07-23 08:35:07 · answer #1 · answered by minerva 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You realize that the why or the reason doesn't really matter anyway. Whatever he would say would only be an excuse. The only thing that really matters is the reality of what is.
Second i would try to be grateful that it was 9 months and not 9 years of my life that he wasted.
Third I would start thinking about whether or not its HIM i really love or the idea of who i would like him to be and the little fairy tale in my head about a husband and a family.
I find it hard to believe that everything was just as it should be (obviously he didn't think so) and he just leaves one day without a word, but even if that is the truth, there really isn't anything you can do about it. People don't come with pink slips and are free to go whenever they want and for whatever excuse they feel like coming up with about it.
This is a very tough situation and i'm sure you are devestated, but you are a mom now and can't afford to wallow in it, you have to pick yourself up and go on, being a mom means you don't have the luxury of giving up and feeling bad anymore, someone counts on you everyday for everything and failing at that is not an option.
The pain in your gut will subside, slowly but surely and its one of those things you get through simply by knowing you will survive it and keeping your eye on the day that it gets better. I would think long and hard about 'loving' someone who was capable of this and in the future i would be much more careful who i invested feelings like that in, this guy obviously didn't deserve them. Good luck, stay strong, take care of yourself and your baby, there are better men out there.
2006-07-23 07:45:15 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a terrible thing to happen to anyone. Firstly you musn't blame yourself. It sounds like he wasn't ready in the first place. Eventually - as with all such events the pain will go. Talk about it with friends etc, talk to a counsellor about how you feel if you can't talk to anyone else. Threre may have been clues to what has happened that you didn't pick up on at the time, talking can help you deal with a lot of feelings and thoughts of guilt and self-blame etc.
I really feel for you and hope that you get over this soon, so that you can get on with your life. Hopefully there are lessons here that will be valuable to you for the rest of your life.
Take care
2006-07-24 01:37:33 · answer #3 · answered by Mick H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im so sorry to hear of ur pain i too know what thats like my partner left 6months ago and i was devastated. everyone can give u advice and say it will get better but i know how ur feeling, u cant see past tomorrow let alone a week from now ur probably feeling like ur whole world has collapsed around u and ur feeling very much alone. in my own experience i found my best friend to be a great support she listened to me ramble on for hrs about how i was feeling and it helped a lot to have someone to listen and not judge.
6months on im doing better i still get moments but my life has moved on and urs will too give ur self time for the hurt to heal, that empty hurting pain ur feeling now will go in time belive me and after a while u will find that u think less an less about the past and more time thinking of ur future. i wish u all the best and hope everything turns around for u and ur baby.god bless.
2006-07-23 07:52:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tme is a healer is what I say. Im so sorry to hear this has happened. It is very difficult to come to terms with when the person you love leaves you. I think the best thing for you is to try and get on with everyday things as they do help to take your mind of things, I know you probly still have really strong feelings for him, but honestly the best thing you can do is move on. Yeah its going to be hard and you will still get upset from time to time but thinking about him and getting uoset over him isnt going to help. Good luck and I hope you feel happier in yourself soon
2006-07-23 07:46:31 · answer #5 · answered by crazyicklepwincess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Feel the pain and the anger. Stop lookin for reasons within yourself! You are justified in all that you feel.
You need to express your feelings aloud to a friend or trained counsellor. Talking is the only way forward. Remember, Grief is a proccess.
2006-07-23 07:42:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's really shitty babe , you got a kid though you have no time to be moping around , you got to get your crap together and keep it that way for your baby .
If he didn't want to take the time to try to work things out before he left , maybe he doesn't feel ready for all that. If he did let him go because he probably thought long and hard about it .
Our love has limits but GODS love is boundless .
2006-07-23 07:43:22 · answer #7 · answered by insertstrawhere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he is obviously a selfish, worthless piece of pondslime who doesnt deserve either you or your gorgeous babe. Dont answer the phone; keep your doors locked (change the locks) and dont let him near you. Sweetheart, no matter how much you love him, it wasnt enough, and you cant give more than youve got, so let go. Scream and yell and smash plates, and get this miserable two-timing bastard out of your mind, your heart and your life; you deserve far better, and you can do far better. God bless and watch over you.
2006-07-23 11:41:19 · answer #8 · answered by k0005kat@btinternet.com 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he didn t gave u a reason and just walked , why r u waisting ur time and emotions on him ??? I would never dump a woman without an explanation , he s a coward ! Forget him and don t go and do nothin silly !
2006-07-23 07:53:01 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lets talk breeze28tn@yahoo.com.I'm in the same situation after 7 years.and he left with no warning.i've learned over the last couple months the best thing is talking about it not holding it in.you'll have good days and bad days that you'll think the tears will never stop.
2006-07-23 07:44:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋