am i wrong in this scenario? i know kay for 20 yrs, was her maid of honor and recently with all my inning and?

Question

outing of the country, we kept touch, me more so than her.well she recenty had a baby and i got word via a 3rd person, a coworker of her husband's called to inform me.it wasn't till 2.5 weeks till she called to tell me herself, i tried several times to see her baby but she kept making excuses, so i didn't bother to make any attempts after that-i left a voicmail on her phone in may to which i still haven't gotten a call back! recently she emailed me and asked if the forward i sent her was "cryptic" i got the idea that she thought there was some subiminal message to it..there wasn't any.i did email her back telling her i was hurt by this situation that i wasn't called personally and my attempts to see her family were dismissed-she made it seem like i was the one who wanted to remain aloof, reclusive! well, i didn't respond to her off handed apology, nor her sending me a videoclip of her kid-do you think i am wrong in not picking up the phone or initiating a visit?

Answer 1

If you want to try to work it out and still keep her as a friend, it would be worth picking up the phone to initiate a visit to find out in person if there was any real issue or if it is a misunderstanding. The big advantage to meeting in person is you can pick up on body language and subtle cues that you can never get from a e-mail or talking on the phone.

Over a period of 20 years, people grow, change and evolve and friendships do too. Sometime you grow closer together and othertimes apart.

There are any number of reasons for her behavior, if this is her first child it could be the whole situation with pregnancy and preparing for the baby and how it is going to change her life, and worried she is not going to be a good mother. If you have doubts like that, the last thing you want is an old friend (but well meaning friend) that can read you like a book, probing you with questions and offering you advice when you are still trying to figure out the answers and work them through yourself. Once you have a new baby they demand every waking moment of your time and it is easy to lose touch with everyone else in the outside world, especially if you go back to work on top of having the baby.

Follow you heart and you instincts in the matter and best of luck to you!