i need help fast with my child?

Question

first off let me explain I'm in a wheel chair i suffer with OI (soft bones) my 14 year old son lives with my aunt and i get him from time to time. last night i got up in the middle of the night to check on him he had my 5 kittens in the bath tub soap every where i clean up the kittens and told him for the 5 time to get his butt to bed then at about 530 i herd my kittens screaming i got up and he was trying to drowned one in the toilet. (it died a few hours later) the i found 2 of them with socks tied around their necks so tight they were choking. i firming told him to get to bed. i cant spank him or yell at him because my aunt would have a cow and put me in jail. her and her husband are so called hard core Christan's (they dont act like it) any way i called her and she thought it was funny i dont know what to do but take him home i cant deal with this any one have any ideals about what i should do he will be 15 soon

she has complained to me that hes been disrespectfull and trying to hurt her grandkids and hes been abusive to my grandmother who also lives with them i dont want to be a bad mother but i cant deal with this child i feel if they would have let me raise him he wouldn't be this way.

i forgot to add they dont take him to church they leve him at home, i was discussing this with my husband and i think we are gonna take him to Church tonight and have the pastor to pray for him and maybe even anoint him. any thing is worth a try

i dont have any control over any part of his life its all in my aunts hands, i took him to the jail and had a officer talk to him but he didnt listen then i took him to church and they prayed for him when i took him home my aunt said it was my fault for having animals and boy i let her have a ear full i told her it was her fault for not teaching him respect that he sees how she acts and there for he copies her actions she got ticked and started cussing so i told her unless she gets him some help hes not welcome in my house any more i hope i did the right thing. that child is pure evil its a shame when a parent is scared of their own child

Answer 1

Quote, "I dont have any control over any part of his life its all in my aunts hands, i took him to the jail and had a officer talk to him but he didnt listen then i took him to church and they prayed for him," REPLY: THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO, SEND HIM PRETTY CARDS AND PICTURES, MAYBE SOME DAY YOU CAN GET HIM A COMPUTER AND SHARE THINGS WITH HIM OVER THE COMPUTER. Thearpy is up to your aunt.

Quote,"when i took him home my aunt said it was my fault for having animals and boy i let her have a ear full i told her it was her fault for not teaching him respect that he sees how she acts and there for he copies her actions she got ticked and started cussing so i told her unless she gets him some help hes not welcome in my house any more i hope i did the right thing. that child is pure evil its a shame when a parent is scared of their own child."
REPLY: IF IT IS POSSIBLE FOR A ONE DAY STAY and A MOVIE [OR SOME FORM OF] ACTIVITY DATE AND DINNER DATE AT HIS LOCATION, TRY IT. ALSO HAVE CARD AND PHOTO EXCHANGE OR SOME FUN THINGS TO SHARE AS A FORM OF WEEKLY COMMUNICATION AS A HOPE FOR SOMETHING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!!!

Pray that she can do the right thing, and that therapy works and that you can do the right thing and all works out for his best benefit to make a difference toward him having a more caring attitude, as he could still be to immature. Give up only when it is all that is left to do. TRY THE FUN THINGS WITH PICTURES AND CARDS. THEN THE OTHER.

Source(s):

CHILD REARING.

Answer 2

He sounds like he is mentally ill. The killing of small animals often leads to worse - the harming of humans. Clearly he has some rage issues that need a therapist. Maybe he was abused (and you don't know). Maybe because of your illness he didn't bond well as an infant.

Why isn't as important right now as it is that he have serious help. If your Aunt won't take him to a therapist (and there are many reasons she might not), call Child Protective Services and tell them your concerns. Insist that he be interviewed and helped.

Some of the reasons your Aunt might not help include:
1. She or her husband may have been abusers and wouldn't want that uncovered,
2. Some segments of Fundamental Christianity do not believe in mental health professionals. They think everything can be solved with prayer.

In the meantime he is dangerous and should not be left alone with small kids or pets.

I'm so sorry your life has such pain. Get him some help. Maybe he can still be helped.

Answer 3

You've gotten some good answers to this question already.

1) Get him to a counselor immediately, particularly one that specializes in teens. The counselor, of course, is not just for him. You and your aunt both need advice on how to best create a stable environment for him. An unstable family can be disastrous to a teen.

2) One person said this, and it's terribly important: he needs a positive male role model. Male teens this age usually have a lot of aggression to deal with (he clearly does), and a male role model can help him channel that anger into useful and productive things. This family situation is unusual and particularly hard to deal with for a teen. He obviously doesn't feel that any single person involved in his upbringing has any authority over him. This needs to change.

3) Get him INVOLVED. He needs things to do. Church, yes, certainly don't leave him behind. He also needs to do active, physical, and productive activities. Get him involved in community service. His action with the kittens demonstrates a lack of respect for the world around him, and he needs to find this respect. Your church might have a youth director that could help with this, and his school administration should also be a good source of information. Try to find a Habitat for Humanity project nearby. Habitat for Humanity uses volunteers to build houses for those who can't afford it, and volunteering has changed the lives of a lot of people I know.

Once you've found some good activities, sports, etc, give him a choice. Let him choose what he wants to do. Be sure he knows that choosing "nothing" is not an option. If he is unable to make decisions for himself, someone else will make them for him. Make sure he knows this.

Get him out of your aunts hands if at all possible. I won't call 'abuse' because I don't know the situation well enough, but this has warning flags allllll over it.

Answer 4

you have quite some issues on your hands and your aunt isn't helping. being in a wheelchair doesn't stop you from getting your child the help he needs. the child has some problems that will require more than annointing and prayer, remember that works must follow prayer. so your work will be to find a mental/behavorial health professional that can determine the basis of his problems and help him to help himself...not just medicate him.

there must have been some event or events that have him misbehaving and violently behaving...you need to get to the bottom of these. it could be he is acting out because he doesn't live with his mother and is acting out because he lives with an aunt and uncle (psuedo parents). just venturing a guess....he probably feels unwanted by both. before long, you could find that your aunt and uncle won't want him around if he's hurting other family members in their home.

you're on yahoo answers when you should be in therapy with your son.

Answer 5

The first sign a child is able to kill or hurt a human including theirself is intentional harm or death to an animal. You son my be suffering from a mental illness that needs to be treated as soon as possible. If I were you, i'd call the authorities and issue some tough love. I would get my son treatment any way I could. Hope things work out for you!

Answer 6

You do need help with your son but you can't do it alone. Send him back to his Aunt if she can handle him better. Shame on your son he isn't an infant but sounds very disturbed mentally. Tell him your calling the Humane Society on killing the kitten. It is time he learned that there are consequences to his actions. If someone came down a little on him and gave him some tough love then maybe it might reach him.

Also you must pray for him. I am praying for you.

Answer 7

Your son is angry and needs to see a counselor to discuss his problems. This abusive behaviour towards the kittens and towards his aunts is an issue that should be addressed. Where is his father? At 14 he needs a good male role model. Is there a big brother program in your area?

Answer 8

Sounds like Jeffrey Dahmer's childhood. Get the child help--immediately. Call Family Services!! Don't give up until someone does something. Problems like these cannot be handled by untrained family members--he needs a professional.

Answer 9

take him to therapy. he needs help if he thinks this is funny. this will only turn into something big. hes killing kittens to see if how long he can get away with this. this will later turn to be something big if you dont act on it now. get the aunt and uncle help too. christans or not they need help. or take the son away from them. you dont want him to act out bigger and worse things, like murder a human being. be safe.

Answer 10

Get him to counseling FAST! This is not normal behavior, he has some anger issues! Do it now before he ends up in a juvenile center. He needs you to do this for him! He is your son and despite what the aunt says, he needs help and his behavior is not funny. He could seriously end up hurting you or your family! Seek help for him!