We met at a club and it started from there. His wife was out of town with an exbabydaddy. He used to asked me for advice and i gave him my advice. He trusted me and I trusted him. See he told me that he was going to leave her when we were dating for a month but he didn't do it. So when she left in went out of town the second time he was riding around looking for me but he couldn't find me cause i didn't want to be the reason why they split up. So when i called him i started asking him questions about his marriage in told me that she was trying to make things work. Then the third time she left he took her clothes to her and he came and picked me up and we started talking about his problems and we became close again. He had three kids by another woman before his wife. I have none but i still care fore them as if they was mine.
2006-07-23 06:55:20 · 27 answers · asked by missy979bryantx 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is incredible how many people seem to be attracted to those who are already attached. It is almost because they are attached that many people are interested in them in the first place!
However dating someone who is attached is bad news and something that you should not do. Here's why:
If you really like them, then you will get frustrated that they can never commit too much time to you
They are clearly unethical as it is not fair to date someone else when you have a partner
A leopard doesn't change its spots: even if by some miracle they do move on to you then you know what they are capable of and therefore trust will always be an issue to you.
Too many people spend time fulfilling the fantasies of someone else who thinks it is great to have two or more partners in the hopeless thought that they can change them, when really that person is just having their cake and eating it.
Dating someone who is married or going out with someone else also shows a lack of respect for yourself - you should deserve and feel you deserve someone who can commit all their time to you and is only interested in you.
Remember this if you ever get tempted to get involved in a complicated relationship like this!
Hope this helps~
2006-07-24 09:45:14 · answer #1 · answered by Bon Bon 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think dating a man who has unfinished business with another can be very harmful to you. First of all until he closes that door, he can't participate in a full relationship with you. Relationships need a fair chance to make it.
Second, there is some healing and self discovery that needs to happen on his part. He needs to have a clear, honest understanding of what went wrong in their relationship and what his role was in the problems. Then he needs to work on himself in those areas so he doesn't repeat the same behaviors in your new relationship.
If he can only see what she did to cause the problem, then the chances are that he may be totally closed to his own issues, which will come up again for you both.
When a man shows interest in you and then says he is going back to someone or starts dating someone new and ends what you began, there will always be that resentment looming under the surface about being second best. This never really goes away and taints the relationship.
I am just guessing, but it sounds like you've been his fall-back woman and trust me if you have one ounce of self respect, you will find someone that will let you know you are his number 1 from the beginning. Relationships have a much higher rate of success if there aren't these issues going into them. Do what's best for you as it sounds like you just want love like the rest of us.
Best of Luck!
2006-07-23 07:11:09 · answer #2 · answered by ididntdoitthedogdid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right or wrong...who can say for sure. But the truth of the matter is that you are not being fair to yourself. This man said that he would leave once and didn't. He will keep up this behavior as long as you put up with it. Right now, he knows that he can go home and stay there, then call you when he wants to and you will put up with the behavior. He will continue to use you while you fall deeper in love with him. Then it will hurt like hell when he decides to drop you for good. Trust me.
If you don't want to be the reason why this man ends his marriage, then step away from the relationship. Give him a chance to work things out with his wife without you in the picture. Then if it doesn't work out and he tries to contact you, you will know that it's meant to be.
It sounds like this guy has enough problems of his own. Kids with one woman, a wife who has a child with someone else. Leave him alone to sort out his own problems.
It will be tough, but it will make you a better person. You don't want to end up heartbroken and alone wondering why you didn't walk away when you had the chance.
2006-07-23 07:31:52 · answer #3 · answered by torn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MORE Jerry Springer episodes! You are dating a loser, a loser who will NEVER have any money, he has all these kids all over the place that he will have to support, and you want to know if YOU can date him...SURE you can, for about 3 weeks, then he will start stepping out on you shortly after you are pregnant....Why are you so stupid? Do you really think you are so special? I know you will not choose this answer as the best, but it is the best advice you are going to get. Leave the loser alone and find someone who does not make a career of luring women in with pitiful sob stories, knocking them up, and moving one. Get a life, woman...grow up and get some brains. Damn! This is just toooooo stupid to think about.
2006-07-23 07:20:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to sound like a broken record but: you are wrong to date a man that is married no matter what the reason is. #1 because it is Adultery.... Not only are you wrong but he is wrong. You will reap what you have sewed if not with your own life, but possibly with the lives of your children.
Not only that, but you are too good to be lied to by a married man. Married men do not leave their wives and families because of a woman they sleep with. That is why extra marital affairs are EXTRA.... He is having his cake and eating it too.
Not just that but what about STD'S? If he is cheating on her with you what makes you think that he is being faithful to you? He could have 3 other women just like you and could be feeding you all a bunch of sh**...
Why would you even want a man who cannot be faithful?
There is no guarantee that he would not cheat on you.... REMEMBER WHAT I JUST SAID.. HE IS NOT GONNA LEAVE HIS WIFE HE IS A LIAR AND A CHEAT!
You should tell him tha it is over.... Whatever you do... don't try and break apart his family by telling his wife. Don't try and blackmail him if he do not leave her. Have some dignity and just get out of that relationship.
Get a nice single man worthy of your self before you end up getting pregnant.
I would suggest that you do not get pregnant unless you wanna raise a kid by yourself. If he has had kids with previous women and he is not with them raising his kids what do that tell you about his morals and his commitments?
Last/// if his woman is cheating as well she will pay....... You can believe that the man upstairs has got her number, and she will pay as well for her acts.
I am not judging you and i really can relate to your situation. I have never dated a married man but have had some.. well lets just say I now how you feel...
Leave him now while it is still easy.
2006-07-23 07:23:09 · answer #5 · answered by strawberri_wine31 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am confussed, if she left then no it's not wrong, But I would move slowly with this guy. He has 2 major relationships that didn't work out, so, somethings is wrong, or he picked really bad woman. I hope for your sake it's he had poor judgement. It is wrong to have an affair with a married person, but if the relationship is seperated then, I don't think it is wrong, unless. they are using you as a pass time toy till the other spouse cools off. This happens alot, so be careful with your heart. He maybe using you and not even realize it. So, please take things slow and easy, and make sure neither of you are making a mistake. God bless us all..........
2006-07-23 07:06:11 · answer #6 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he leave her for good or what? I doubt that you have spent enough time to care for his 3 kids as if they are yours, you don't have any so you really don't have a clue what that actually means. How are you going to feel about all the things YOU can't have in the future because he is paying child support for 3 kids? If he has left her for good and you can deal with all that baggage (and this guy has a TON of baggage) then go for it, you did it before she left why wouldn't you do it after?
PS...they all SAY they are going to leave the wife for the gf, they rarely ever do. relationships that start in adultery end 98% of the time.
2006-07-23 07:01:03 · answer #7 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet Heart, pls wake up!This is not a place for u to dream! What has happened to his 1st wife, 2n wife, all these are what he himself told u & u only listened to one side. Dont be so soft hearted. Thats right u r being use by him. One day, u will meet another g/lady who will tells u the same stories that u have told. Go, use ur precious time to look 4 a good Mr. Right who is only belongs to u. I hope everyone of us are waiting 4 u to come back bringing us good news. Wishing u good luck!
2006-07-23 07:16:34 · answer #8 · answered by cancerlady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where are your morals and values? This man is married and has 3 kids. He has many obligations in his life. Let him go, and find someone single, and better. If this man ever divorces his wife, then maybe start a relationship, but not until the divorce is done.
2006-07-23 07:12:31 · answer #9 · answered by denie545 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him alone and go find a single man. He has too much baggage. If he cheats on his wife and cheated before he will cheat on you. I see this relationship going no where. Don't waste anymore time on this looser.
More advise, never get involved with a married man, even if he tells you he is seperated.
Sounds to me as if this man only wanted to see you when he wanted to.
2006-07-23 09:00:36 · answer #10 · answered by sparkles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋