hey... i have a "friend" who hurts herself... i tried to tell her nicely to stop... i tried to explain that it wasn't going to help her and that if someone hurt her, then he's an idiot and she doesn't have to hurt herself... but she won't stop. i told her to talk to her parents or a teacher she likes. but she doesn't trust adults. so i told her to talk to me about her problems. she did. she felt better but she keeps cutting her wrist. what do i do? help please. this is really important. when she doesnt hurt herself. then she has sex with every guy she finds. that's not better. i think she has a serious problem but i really wanna help her. please tell me what i should do for her. is there any way to help more than i did?
2006-07-23 06:41:59 · 16 answers · asked by baby french girl livin in da usa 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
Good question.
Its good that yo care about her, my ex-girlfriend used to do that and it was hard, I didnt even see the worst of it because she had improved before we went out.
It is a hard question because you don't want to breach her trust.
She needs to speak to someone professional, perhaps a school counsellor would be a good start, or a doctor. Do you know what her family life is like, it probably started there, but I wonder if her parents know about the self-harm...
Sometimes, harmers can be bi-polar, or 'up and down'. The fact that she sleeps around when she is not hurting herself suggests that this might be the case, often bi-polar people are reckless when they're on an up, and barely functional/suicidal when they are down.
Some ideas
Encourage her to not drink or take drugs.
Work out whether her family is the cause or if they will help.
Talk to school counsellor to arrange a meeting and you go with her for one or two meetings, or a doctor.
Keep inviting her to normal things, walking eating dinner with your family, play some sport.
You seem very kind, but this you cannot do alone. Professional help and/or medication can help, but she will still need your support!
Good luck.
2006-07-23 06:54:21 · answer #1 · answered by Jeremy D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to her parents immediately, but if they are the ones that have abused her, then you should tell an adult that you trust. Being friends with someone that has problems like these can be overwhelming, so hang in there and you should speak to someone you trust as well, to vent about it. There are also helplines she can call such as 1-800-SUICIDE 1-800-784-2433 National Hopeline Network , or 1-800-273-TALK
1-800-273-8255. Definitely tell someone.
2006-07-23 13:48:16 · answer #2 · answered by Edith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she really wanted to commit suicide, she would have...her cutting herself is her last ditch attempt at getting help. She is screaming for someone to tell her parents so that she doesn't have to. She knows that she needs help.
I would talk to her parents as a concerned friend. I'm sure she will thank you later. Just don't make her feel stupid.
Best of luck...
You could ask your friend if she would like you to help her tell her parents.......
I was similar to your friend when I was in school...I had been getting molested by my step-father my whole life. I could not just come out and tell my mother so I acted a lot like your friend. I was just screaming for someone to ask me what was really wrong. I was wishing one of my friends would tell my mother that she needed to talk to me.
2006-07-23 13:47:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have pretty much done all you can do without telling her parents yourself. Just keep letting her know you are there for her, and try not to make her feel worse about her bad decisions. If she thinks she cant get anything right she may get worse. Just stay a friend and stay supportive. If she does get really bad you may have to tell someone.
2006-07-23 13:47:08 · answer #4 · answered by silent*scream 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She mistrusts adults because she was probably abused by one or both of her parents, possibly a teacher. The cutting and promiscuity are classic symptoms of sexual abuse. You have to get her to some kind of abuse center. It is vital if you care about her. She may resist now but will thank you in the future.
2006-07-23 13:48:36 · answer #5 · answered by Cybeq 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be positive. it helped me. also try and get her to do meds. they really do help but i know that many emo people dont think anything is wrong with them or they think they can get over it on their own. compliments are good but dont be obvious cuz then they see what you're doing and shun away. dont put people down in front of her. then she will think you are saying stuff like that behind her back. remember: whatever you say/do they see and apply it to themselves. you can talk about that stuff when she brings it up but you should still be easy and not dis too much. good luck.
2006-07-23 13:47:45 · answer #6 · answered by triskaidekaphobia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
plzz inform to her parents without a second thought.. may be if u feel guilty.. u can convey to them not to reveal ur name.. Only parents and adults can handle this.. don't encourage her and get yrslf into problem.. i had experienced this situation earlier in two of my friend's cases.. i shall let u know if u wan2 know.. just PM me
2006-07-23 13:49:05 · answer #7 · answered by Nirmal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had same problem once. i cured with joining a social clubs, where i don't get alone.
your friend just need attention towards herself. you can't help her, if you do, she's going to hurt herself more.
2006-07-23 13:46:38 · answer #8 · answered by Krish 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Therapy. Go with her, if that will make her feel better, but she needs help. My friend used to cut herself, not even heavily, and she didn't sleep around and she's going to a therapist, if my friend needs to go to therapy, yours DEF. needs to!
2006-07-23 13:46:00 · answer #9 · answered by PeachyFixation 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell an adult who cares if she will get mad she will forgive you if she don't oh well it is better for her to stop one way or another if she ends up hating you then she is stupid and will learn eventually
2006-07-23 13:50:18 · answer #10 · answered by devil_lil_shorty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋