Tell me what to do with a husband who just told me he has ptsd and wants to end our relationship.?

Question

It's post traumatic stress disorder, and he cannot let go of the past. He has known he has had this disorder for 30 years and has kept it a secret from me. He has really hurt me, and my children. One is 16 and has loved him over her own loser dad. The other is our foster grandchild who we were going to adopt, but now since this has happened, I really do not want to raise him alone. I am really hurt and need some insight from a third party, in. I feel like I have lost 12 years of my life. He has broken promises, lied, kept secrets, been self-centered, and selfish. I feel like he just wanted to use me. I really need some anweres and some guidence from someone fast before I do something irrational. Right now I am looking at a garage sale sign that says " I just found out that my husband suffers from ptsd. He's had this disorder since childhood, never told me. Husband a lying, cheating, self-centered fake. Selling his thingscheap. Left me with 2 kids and no job. please be generous. thanks

Answer 1

I know your hurting but why want to stay with a man who has lied for so many years. Your marriage was a sham from the start with lies. You need to move on and let him know in no certain terms he has no control over your feelings anymore. Yes, you can raise this grandchild if you put it in your head you can. Never say can't, you sould like a strong woman who has let this deceitful husband bring you down, but for only a minute. Pick yourself up and take back your pride. Good Luck

Answer 2

Please go and seek out your pastor or a good therapist. You have a lot of anger and so many issues stemming from this secret. I would hope that he is in and has been in counseling as so many victims of a war and military have unresolved issues. If he has had the dis-ease since childhood, I would say he is a victim of child abuse, perhaps severe and that might further complicate how he's handled it through the years .... through another "personality part", or by sheer determination. Obviously, he kept his secret well for a time if you've been married, raised children together and are just discovering this. It is a dis-ease of the mind and body. Perhaps you could focus on the good othat has happened, some of the joy you have shared, and laughs as you've raised your children, and get help. I don't think trying to protect your family from the nightmare of PTSD makes the man a lying, cheating, self centered, fake. I think it makes him a strong man, trying to beat something akin to a demon and he needs help. He too is a victim, by which other victims have evolved, such as you and your children. Hang on to what was good and seek help now if you wish to restore the marriage and save the relationship.

Answer 3

What the question here? A man cheats you and kids like crap for years and now he wants out. Guess what help him out pack those bags and get on with your life, no one deserves to be treated badly or lied to and what you think you had was a huge lie. Write it up as a huge long learning experience and move on. You may see very soon life is better now that all that baggage is gone and you will make it through. You can build your self esteem and find out for yourself you were treated badly all that time.

Answer 4

you should have filed for a "seventy 2 hour emergency hospitalization" even as he replaced into wearing on like that "he replaced into freaking out one evening talking about self-harming himself and then got here at me with a knife", then you fairly ought to have had some data that you bumped off the youngster because you had concerns for what his behaviors may bring about. Too late now, in case you do it may look like spite. once you've data of his being clinically determined with P.T.S.D. or have everybody else who can decrease back you up on any unusual habit on his area, then you fairly've were given something to pass on. Get legal suggestion pronto.

Answer 5

Well it looks like you have one big crap sandwhich and everyone has to take a bite. first verify that he just isn't a loser and has a valid PTSD, 2nd you just have to remove him and start over i know it will suck I have been there.but if you don't you will continue on a downslide.the least you can do is force support from him and get help for yourself.

Answer 6

First of all why don't you both try counseling before you end it.if that don't work, then go your separate ways.sorry about your situations.

Answer 7

i would never talk to him, look ahead for the future, dont go back to that, unless you like the drama.

Answer 8

i don't have the answer but pray and pray hard for you and your children find comfort in them god bless you.