Why aren't Bis treated equally in the Gay community?

Answer 1

I can only answer for me, for where I'm coming from. I'm a lesbian in my late 30s, who has been in a committed relationship for 8 years. (We would be legally married by now, if it was legal where we live.)

Back in my 20's when I was single and part of the dating scene, there was a definite bias in the lesbian community against bisexual women. That takes some explanation.

First, when I use the word bisexual, I mean "people who can have and act on romantic feelings for both genders."

There are plenty of young women, even moreso now than 10 years ago, who call themselves bisexual, but believe "bisexual" means "I want to marry a man, but messing around with women when I'm drunk is sorta fun." This is more properly called "bi-curious."

THOSE types of bisexual women are the ones that the lesbian community is really against. And unfortunately, the behavior of people like this have "spoiled it" for the true bisexuals. Fair or not, this is the cause of the bad rap bisexuals have, and I believe it is in large part the cause of bisexuals not being treated equally in the gay community.

Most of my lesbian friends have, at one time or another, dated a bisexual woman, gotten emotionally involved, and then gotten dumped for a guy, because the girl wasn't in it "for real" ... just "for fun."

That all being said, I do my best not to pre-judge anyone. I have bisexual friends, both men and women, and I don't care one way or the other that they are bisexual, just as I don't consider whether a person is straight or gay before deciding to befriend them. Cool people come in all flavors, you know?

So I will say this in conclusion to all the bisexual people out there, regardless of how you define the word: if you get into anything more than just a casual hookup with a gay person, PLEASE tell them that you are bisexual, and talk about what that word means to you... talk about whether you are truly bisexual, or simply bi-curious.

Open communication about this (like most things in a relationship) can really keep people from getting hurt.

Answer 2

Sadly it's true that many bisexual people don't get treated equally in the lesbian/gay community or the straight community, but that is changing with education about bisexual people and getting rid of the myths. Bisexuals are thought to be "too gay for the straight people and too straight for the lesbian/gay people."

And there are the myths like that bisexuals are unsure and could just pick a side, which they cannot. Bi people are attracted to both girls and guys. But there is another myth about not being loyal, which is untrue. Bisexuals are just as loyal as anybody else. It's a choice of any person to cheat or not. It doesn't matter if you are straight, bi, lesbian, gay, or whatever.

Myths & Realities About Bisexuality:
http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Coming_Out_as_Bi&Template=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=32351

About girl bisexuals being treated equally by lesbians:
http://www.bimagazine.org/nonfict/pages/personal2.html

And Mimi saying "They need to establish their own community" is a very dumb, closed-minded, and self centered point of view.

Answer 3

Bisexuality is greatly misunderstood by both the homosexual and heterosexual communities. There are two reasons behind this:

1. The existence of bisexuality destroys the monosexuals (heterosexual and homosexual) concept that sexuality is in two exclusive categories.
2. The lack of a bisexual community.

The heterosexual and homosexual communities have the following misconceptions about bisexuals:

1. Bisexuals are closeted homosexuals.
2. Bisexuals spread STDs from the homosexual to the heterosexual community.
3. Bisexuals are confused and can't make their minds up.
4. Bisexuals are highly promiscuous and more likely to cheat on you.
5. Bisexuals are greedy.
6. Bisexuals can hide in the heterosexual community when the going gets tough.

None of these paint an accurate picture of bisexuality. Whilst some people may identify as bisexual in transition to homosexual/heterosexual, there are people who identify as bisexual for their whole life. STDs are passed through the practice of unsafe sex - irrespective of whether its homosexual or heterosexual. Bisexuals don't carry STDs, people do.

The popular misconception amongst homosexuals is that bisexuals can switch sides and hide in the heterosexual community when the going gets tough. Whilst some bisexuals pass off as straight (to gain acceptance from the heterosexual community) there are many who need the support of the gay community to pursue the same sex attraction part of their sexuality.

Another fear expressed by monosexuals is that a bisexual will run off with a member of the opposite sex to their current partner. It does happen, but its no more or less likely than a monosexual cheating on their current partner.

Luckily, things are improving for bisexuals, and they are becoming more recognised/understood within the gay community.

Answer 4

bi"s are in a way but i ask a gay friend of mine this and he said that someone who is bi is just not all the way out yet and still holding on to what is normal and if you talk to some one that is bi there only say there bi in the gay community and still live a life straight
most are only bi in there bed room
some say there just confused about who they are and will cross over in time to either or

Answer 5

For some, it's about bitterness "They could just be straight and normal and keep all the het privlidge". For others, it's about displacement of blame (which is even more abhorrant) "Hey, I'm not that bad, at least I'm not bi....now please accept me? PLEASE?"
And sometimes, it's more of an omission due to social conditioning; it's easy to forget bi exists because we're taught that you're either gay or straight. This last is probably the source of more subtle exclusions rather than any outright actions / words.

Answer 6

Because being gay doesn't make them better or worse than straight people.There are just as many gay airheads and bigots as their are straight ones.Ignorance spreads equally amongst the different sexual preferences.
As a bi guy I are constantly harassed by Gay men who think I should choose.I ignore them just as I do straight folks who are stupid.
Then another toughed that came to me,all this labeling should better end.People are people

Answer 7

I am a bisexual teen, and I get what you are saying, I read on wikipedia that the gay community doesn't see us as ethical because we can't choose, we were born this way just like they were born homosexual. However we can relate to both sides of an argument either heterosexual or straight, which some people fail to realize.

however there are many people who don't care that bisexuals are bisexual. there are just those that would tell you it's wrong, i would ignore them and live my life to it's fullest.

lol

Answer 8

yea... the purely classic enormous difference between the republicans and democrats is easy. Republicans were traditionally those who worked not easy for the outcome, Democrats are those that see authorities administration as a technique for the outcome. Now liberals vs. conservatives are those that variety. liberals want equivalent rights, conservatives want the old way of doing issues to adhere round... i'm a life like republican btw.

Answer 9

I dont think people realise that someone can be equally attracted to both sexes. I can understand this more from the straight people who cant imagine being attracted to the same sex, but the gays know what its like to be treated badly because of who they're attracted to, so from them, there is no excuse.

Answer 10

While I'm sure some gays and lesbians feel that way, think the majority don't begrudge them their sexuality, but fear they wouldn't be faithful to them in a relationship. That might not be totally fair but someone looking for a relationship has a right to pick and choose.
Tammi Dee