asked me what he had done to me for him to deserve this treatment and how could I even think such a thing? Well I got so upset and couldn't speak. I put the phone down and went and poured me a drink. I don't know what to do anymore.
2006-07-23 05:38:54 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If I were the judge in your case I'd give him EVERYTHING including make you pay HIM alimony. Here is a guy on the other side of the world and you decide to divorce him while deployed? What a biatch.
Hell if he came home and popped a couple caps in your biatch a$$ he should get a medal.
2006-07-23 05:54:42 · answer #1 · answered by hack_ace 4 · 7⤊ 1⤋
How could you do this to him? You think you want a divorce which means you are not sure any way. Why not talk to him about the problems you have, instead of jumping right to the divorce idea?
Now, he's going to be even more upset and will be expected to continue fighting as if nothing is bothering him. He needs to be able to focus on his job without the added stress of what is going on back home.
It's tough to be away from those we love and we can not give each other what we truly need while separated by an ocean. Don't drink off the pain and sorrow, talk to your friends, talk to a counselor or a pastor. And talk to your husband. He needs you more than you realize right now.
2006-07-23 07:49:42 · answer #2 · answered by torn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, how heartless and cold of a person are you to do that to someone in a situation like that? For a lot of those guys in Iraq, the only thing that keeps them going is knowing that there is someone at home that loves them and is waiting for them.
If you want out, fine. but you could have had the decency to wait til he got home to talk about it and inform him.
I'm glad you were upset, multiply that be 1000 and you have some idea of what you just did to him.
Oh yeah, and drinking is always a good solution to a problem...makes thinking clearly so much more effective.
2006-07-23 05:44:58 · answer #3 · answered by jimmy h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, when I watched "Jarhead" with my gf, who's father was a marine, and who's bf is in the Navy, but was a marine, and my partner was a marine...I laughed because they made the girlfriends and wives at home look bad. I couldn't IMAGINE a partner being like that, esp. to the men -and women- who are serving as per their orders. As for your "I need a drink" problem...welcome to reality; everyone has tough times. Leaving that poor man hanging on the phone while you get to chill out and drink (which they cannot do over there...HE doesn't get to say "I need a drink") was beyond cold, shallow, selfish, and heartless. You have no soul, lady.
It's women like you that make us all look bad. Hopefully, your selfish act will not go unpunished. I know what it's like to want a divorce, and to want to get it overwith, but you most certainly should have waited. Do you have ANY idea what the military personnel are going through over there?? WHY did you do it this way? Are you a coward and couldn't face doing it in-person? We, who are wasting our good answers on other people's real issues, would REALLY like to know!!
2006-07-23 06:17:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Drinking will only make you put off facing things that have to be faced
2) This is not a good time to decide on divorcing. You should wait till he is back home and you 2 had time to readjust. Have couples couciling before making a final decision
3) And people are right. That is a crappy thing to say to him at a time like this.
4) Think hard on this .. if you agree now is not the time to decide then let him know you are not making a final decision right now and will wait and see how things are when he gets back.
2006-07-23 05:45:05 · answer #5 · answered by Calina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there someone else involved? Couldn't you have waited
until he got home from Iraq. That's kinda a sad way to do it don't you think? Instead of putting the phone down and
pouring you a drink, you should have at least been woman enough to talk to him and be honest, he deserves that much at least.
2006-07-23 07:05:26 · answer #6 · answered by frustrated 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do you want a divorce? Is it a good reason, did he cheat on you or something. If it's not a good reason then why would you want to do this to him while he is in Iraq. Did you feel this way before he left. If yes, you should have done something about it then. I feel sorry for your man over there in the heat, not knowing if he will make it home alive and now if he does make it home he has to go via a divorce.
2006-07-23 05:41:11 · answer #7 · answered by angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think that was the nicest thing to do since he already is going trough hell in Irak. I think you should have wait for him to come back since you cant get divorce while he is deployed anywhere. I dont know what your situation might be as far as your marriage. I am a military wife also and sometimes I feel like getting the hell away from my husband because he is never home and i have nobody to count on. I have to take care of my kids and the house and im away from my family ' cause Im with him. But then we work things out and things get better. It has ups and downs llike everything in life. As far as drinking i tell you from experience that is not worth it destroying yourself over whatever problem you might have. You need to take good care of yourself regardless of whats going on in your marriage.
Theres a lot of resources available to you on post. Wherever you guys are stationed. you can call the chaplain from your husband unit and he will help you out .Theres also Acs and you can call them with whatever question that you might have and believe me if they cant help you they will find someone who will
Whatever you decide good luck to you and your husband.
2006-07-23 05:51:30 · answer #8 · answered by xadralix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're divorcing him just because he's off at war, then that is just wrong and selfish. If your love is strong enough, then you should be able to get past any distance and I can talk because I am in the same situation. He's got enough terrible things going on. Every day he's seeing people die or get injured. He's in a terrible place right now. And now the woman he loves is ready to leave him?! Divorcing him just because you're not strong enough to handle being alone for awhile is just wrong. You should take pride that he is a hero to our country when there are so many wimpy guys who can barely survive without their iPods.
2006-07-23 05:47:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did this to him while he was in Iraq...good going!!! Not like he hasn't got enought on his mind...like staying alive. It was probably the most selfish thing you could have done. Shame on you.... You should have waited until he was home....Of course then you would have had to look him in the eye, couldn't have that now, could we!! Maybe you should think about why you married him in the first place. Maybe you are so worried about him, and miss him so much that you want that to stop. But what you did to him was wrong.
2006-07-23 05:45:45 · answer #10 · answered by smt1967 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations! You've just thoroughly smashed someone's heart into tiny bits and pieces. Not even once you realize how it's like to be away from loved ones -- alone fighting out there and waiting for the day to return home and hoping the family would still there -- especially the spouse. How could you be so selfish? You could have at least waited for him to return home.
2006-07-23 05:59:57 · answer #11 · answered by Mike N. D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋