what can i do to protect myself from evil garden nomes?

Question

my aunts friend told me to ask this questoin please he really needs this information he fears he might lose his life?

Answer 1

Get a few boxes of Lucky Charmes and sprinkle them around the garden.

Answer 2

Garden gnomes come in many types, not just evil. Some are friendly, some just curious, some hungry and some evil. Make sure of course you do indeed have the evil ones first. The first thing to do when dealing with evil gnomes is to get 3 mirrors. Place them in a triangle at opposite ends of the garden facing inward. angle them 37degrees to 45 degrees to the ground so the sun hits them and sends a beam from all three into the center of the garden. When the evil gnomes travel in the garden and walk into this beam they will be vaporized by the concentrated ions in the rays. this should take care of your problem. Good luck

Answer 3

Since I am Gotgras, I know all about grass and I've got to say that you've got to get some grass. Real grass. The good stuff. Bermuda, blue fescue, that kind of thing.They hate really good grass. The problem must be that you're lawn is really full of weeds that you've been mowing and watering to look like grass and the gnomes are feeding on this and growing fat.

Pull out this weedy yard and start anew with a fresh carpet of weed free sod.

Answer 4

Well, this is very easy. Go to the mall and purchase one of those plastic real looking Owls and put it in the garden up high to keep an eye on things. Those pesky garden gnomes hate owls!!

Answer 5

One of my friends was in the same situation. I did not believe him until he showed me the body of a dead knome. They are not as friendly as we believe as they tried to kill my friend also.

What you have to do may take a while though. You have to take cabbages, carrots, onions and potatoes from the very garden the knome comes from and boil them in holy water. Prepare a nice meal for it then place the plate in the Garden. This will trick the knomes as a friendly gesture and they will eat the food. However knomes are inherenlty evil creatures and can not stomach holy water. They will die with the causation being poisioned by food cooked in holy water.

Answer 6

well... I guess it depends on the type of evil garden gnomes... (there are lots of types after all!)

My best suggestion is to take some windex and spray them in their face. They'll be so shocked and disgusted... they may never bother you again. Especially if you continue to arm yourself with a bottle of windex whenever you go outside.

hahhahaha.

Answer 7

i have a solution...i am an assassin so you could hire me to take care of the problem. i have extensive weapon handling and fighting training. I am ready to arm myself and destroy those lawn gnomes. 100$ and hour and 50$ extra for each lawn gnome slain. Plus i charge another 100 for egg extermination. Hey killing isn't cheap.

Answer 8

Tell him to get a cat. No self respecting cat would allow evil lawn gnomes to stay on its lawn without trying to eat it.

Answer 9

I reccomend a shotgun. oh yeah, and he'll need to invest in full body camoflage, and night vision. They usually feed at night, so that'll be the best time to blast them. Also, he might try finding a naked manequin to put bent over in his yard to draw them in. When they attempt to rape the manequin, and drop their pants, they won't be able to run away as fast.

Answer 10

To protect yourself from evil garden gnomes......stop believing in them