why it is that you marry someone, take the vows of marriage....and then as soon as you see someone you would like to be with, the vows are invalid? I make a vow to someone, I take that seriously.......am I just old fashion, as well as old? God, I hope not
2006-07-23 04:21:53 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I hope not as well. I think vows should mean something - but here is only hoping. BTW I like your answers - I have seen you on here before.
2006-07-23 04:24:00 · answer #1 · answered by doc 6 · 4⤊ 4⤋
If you are old fashioned, then I would be called the same thing. Vows are a promise before God. I was married 18 years, he had an affair and left the marriage. The vows apparently did not mean as much to him. I have been divorced 12 years now. There are not many men out there in my age range (I prefer men in their late 40s to 50s) who are looking for a total relationship. Unfortunately, the worst thing that happens to a good man is a bad woman burns him...he never quite recovers emotionally. Good luck to you.
2006-07-23 17:12:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I wish more people felt the way you do about their marriage and marriage vows! My husband and I know that the hardest relationship that we are ever going to be involved in is with each other and we work at it every day. Some days are better than others but we love each other tremendously and plan on fighting hard for each other every day of the rest of our lives. I wish that the next Hollywood trend would be serial monogamy! That would be hot!!! And no! You are not old fashioned...you are a real man, with admirable aspirations....you need to find a REAL woman who appreciates you for who you are! Good luck and let us all know how things work our for you! Take care and Rock on!
2006-07-23 11:42:33 · answer #3 · answered by MaHaa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you're not old fashion You Just believe that marriage vows are just that,a vow to your partner to be faithful and true! Society tries to take marriage and make infidelity seem like its just common like a vow is made to be broken!You're not old you just come from a back round of high standards respect for yourself and others and great Morales!!!!! Someone has to stand for something or we will fall for anything!
2006-07-23 11:26:56 · answer #4 · answered by cocoa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youre not old my friend. Welcome to the modern day society. Vows are still sacred under the eyes of God, its just people have grown to think of them only as words. It sounds like someone got married either too quick (short dating period) or just wants their cake and eat it too. This happens way too often in todays world and is why divorce rate is up. Its called disllusionary grandeur, where one goes into marriage expecting a fairy tale romance and to live happily ever after, and then reality sets in,and they are greatly disappointed and begin looking for more pipe dreams that promise a world of happiness. God never promised anyone of us this so where these people get these idiotic ideas is anybodies guess,probably from TV. They think an affair with someone new will set them free, but in reality just makes matters worse. You were instilled with good old fashion values and morals, which is a rare find nowadays. Just hope you never lose or give them up, as they are exactly what this world needs to get back to. Its a great feeling to know people like you still exist ... thanks and good luck
2006-07-23 11:37:43 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because we are basically not true to ourselves. In that case all the vows are reduced to only rituals. Marriage is not the end to appreciate beauty in others. But once we have married we should be faithful to each other. That is true with all following any religion in the world. It is a basic question involving good human conduct. It is universally valid in terms of time and space. Do not think that your thoughts have become outdated.
2006-07-23 11:29:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kevin, welcome to the age of "I want what I want when I want it!"
The first real inkling of what was coming was in the 1960s, when the "hippies" and "free love" people began the movement to place their rights and desires above those of other individuals and society in general. Their "if it feels good ... do it" motto spread into the general population over the next decade.
Add in no-fault divorce ... and let it stew for 40 years or so.
Today, we live in a fast-paced world that knows not the meaning of self-denial. If we want something, we buy it. If someone attracts us, we telll them.
Individual rights and desires has trumped all other considerations: legal, moral and societal.
That said ... there are still others like you out there who take such vows seriously, and are not totally centered on themselves. Find one of them and you can build a life together, and raise some children with the same values.
Good luck swimming upstream, my friend! I'm on your side.
2006-07-23 11:29:50 · answer #7 · answered by Rob R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not old or old fashioned. I too believe in the vows I have taken and like you I take them very seriously. Too many people treat marriage like plastic surgery or a new car......if you aren't happy with what you were born with you go to a plastic surgeon, if your car sucks for any reason you buy another one.
2006-07-23 11:26:37 · answer #8 · answered by NyteWing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, you are old fashion at all. when i make a vow to someone i take it very seriously. some people just don't care about their vows.
2006-07-23 11:26:17 · answer #9 · answered by olive_olive_72 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I share the same beliefs as you do and so does my husband. We take our vows to our heart. So your not old or old fashioned, you was raised right. Its nice to know there are others out there who feel the same way
2006-07-23 11:27:22 · answer #10 · answered by Texas_at_its_best 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Old fashioned doesn't automatically equal bad, out of style, or backwards. Having traditions and knowing one's history, ancestors, culture, etc, is a great help to shape and build one's character. One of the those great traditions is marriage. People these days don't take the time to really understand what taking vows mean.....even tho a lot of times they date for 4-5 years now (vs like 6 mo for people long time ago). What's extremely sad as well, is the roles of Male and Females have gotten more and more intertwined, and we don't know what our purpose is anymore. I've learned that males feel most secure and confident when they are given the ability to bring home the bacon, take care of the family financially and by making decisions. Females feel secure and confident when they take care of the family thru nurture and support. Ideally if we work together, we will both be happy, safe, secure and confident in eachother's abilities. However, if for example the woman makes money too and takes on financial responsiblity AS WELL as nurture and caring for husband, it really wears them down. At same time, if man feels he is not able to take care of his family financially (making less money, can't get promotion, etc), he FEELS inadequate and takes it out on his wife. I've had to deal w/ something quite similar w/ my boyfriend, and now that he passed his test and is making the money he's been working so hard for, he's much happier w/ HIMSELF as well as in the relationship.
Anyways, people are lazy now and don't realize it's worth it to work for something like marriage. why would u want it to be w/ someone who's easy?? I'd like to feel that i deserve someone awesome and that person deserves me.
2006-07-23 11:37:53 · answer #11 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋