My father in laws funeral it is taking place at the crematorium is it ok to take my 3 year old?

Question

hey guys my husbands family have decided that my father in laws funeral after the service the committal shaill be at the crematorium is it ok to take my 3 year old daughter to that place personally iam not happy with that what do you guys think my husband thinks I should take her there but i do not agree what do you guys think

Answer 1

The 3 yr old won't understand whats going on and you don't actually see anything at the crematorium.
If you are worried about your 3 yr old misbehaving then don't bring the child or why not go and keep child outside.

Answer 2

I would probably hesitate too, and I am unsure whether or not I'd take the child. Some would consider it a morbid place to take a child, but given your child's age she probably won't remember or understand too much the meaning of death. Even if she did, it is a fact of life that we all end up dead, just be prepared for your child's reaction. She might ask lots of questions and become confused as there are bound to be people crying and it might scare her. Just keep a close eye on her reactions and she should be fine. Sorry for your loss...

Answer 3

firstly, it can be okay, as children must get used to life darker side. on the other hand, i dont think that a 3 year old would be able to feel that special atmosphere of a funeral. im not sure, if she could behave. so i think a 3 year old has nothing to do in a funeral ceremony. maybe couple of years later.

Answer 4

I wouldnt personally, i have to kids 4 and 5 and explaining death to a young child is very difficult. your daughter doesent need to see alot of upset people and besides crematoriums are horrible places

Answer 5

I have a 3 year old son, and personally if this was me, i'd not be taking him, he understands people die, they go to the clouds, but i think at 3 they are still to young to understand it all.
If you are not happy with it then you must speak up, its not fair on your daughter or you, as it will be you that has to explain it all etc

Answer 6

I agree this might be a little much for a 3 year old. Children this young do not understand death and it might be shocking if you are attending a ceremony where a casket she knows contains her grandfather is burned, she might be traumatized. Let her have good memories, this would be a harsh thing for a child that young.

Answer 7

Seeing other people upset (including you and her father) could be very distressing to a child of that age.

Attending my first funeral when my grnadmother died I was shocked at how distressing it was to see my mother, aunts, unlces and grandfather so upset and I was in my twenties - can't even imagine how a child would deal with that.

Answer 8

At 3 years old they are too young to understand what is going on. I wouldn't worry if you have to take her - I can't imagine it effectng her too much, but equally, I wouldn't feel that you have too.

Good luck on getting through a horrible time.

Answer 9

well i lost my aunt who was like a,second mother to me as well as a substitute, nannan, to my kids,, in march to a brain tumour., my youngest two aged 5 and 7 years , didnt go as everyone agreed that no children including her own granchildren,, were attending ,. my 17 year old daughter , went,, but really i would have loved my kids to say goodbye to her, they loved her to bits, and i think if your being honest , with the kids saying the loved ones have gone to heaven, or to the stars,, etc whichever you want them to believe..and that they are saying goodbye,, to someone they loved,, not some one who has just totally disappeared forever, also i take my kids to see their little sisters grave regular, which is strangely in line behind my aunts,,and also my little boy was 2 years old when i had her kasey,a week early stillborn,, and we took him to her funeral,,,,, and he wasnt at all upset,,,and i think it was nice for him to join in to say goodbye to his sister....

Answer 10

I dont think that u should bring her coz she is still small to go there.Tell her where u r going n give her details about the place.tell her wat we do in such places.then when she is old enough, she can go there n would understand the place.