They have keys to my house, they know the combination of the garage door and they know the combination to the padlock on the back gate.
They just come around uninvited and walk in like they own the place. My husband doesn't see a problem with it but I think they are invading my privacy. He works all day so he's not here when they just come around. They seem to think that they need to do jobs around my house which I am perfectly capable of doing myself. My husband and I have very little time alone because his parents are always around. I feel that it is putting a strain on our marriage. How can I get rid of them without being mean?
2006-07-23 04:02:07 · 9 answers · asked by cazzi_g 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
honestly communication is the best for all and any relationships. what u really need to do is sit and talk to your husband and tell him everything that u feel. he needs to understand your feeligns about it and cater to u. u should be his first priority. i believe that it should be his job to tell his parents so that they won't take it in a bad way. if that doen't work then u should talk to his parents and try and explain to them that the reason they have extra keys is for emergencies or to homesit if u guys are on vacation. and explain that your not comfortable w/them just walking in. i mean u could be walking around naked one day and daddy in law sees because he walked in let them know that sometimes u need time a lone for yourself and plz not to take it offensively.
2006-07-23 04:12:55 · answer #1 · answered by Pisces chik 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey, just tell them and your husband that they should knock. It's fine that they have those keys in case of emergency but for crying out loud you need your privacy. Tell them that, no demand that, it's your home too and you have say over things that need to be done.
If both of you are not home and they want to come by to do things, make an arrangement such as when they're doing write a note saying they were there or something so you know.
If you don't want them to do those things, talk to them and your husband. Tell him that it's putting a strain on your marriage, he might not even know that that's happening and he will certainly try to change that
2006-07-23 11:10:36 · answer #2 · answered by Karce 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem. I just came out and told them that they need to phone before they come over Reset the code for the alarm and change locks if you need to. Your husband needs to have respect for you.
Don;t worry about being mean, They are the ones being mean.
Be polite, Just tell them that you need your space and then set down the boundries and expectations.
Your husband needs to side with you. The bible even says a man will leave his family and cling to his wife. It doesn't mean totoally leave, but you two are a new family and you need a certian amount of privacy and independence.
If they come over say to them that you can't have them over right now because you are busy. Nicely say goodbye and shut the door.
My final straw was when I was swimming nude in the back yard pool and my father in law came to the back yard and I had to hide in a corner and tell him he needed to go home.
If your husband can't be on your side.......Tell him that you are setting up a counseling appointment and tell him that you expect him there.
2006-07-23 11:15:07 · answer #3 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband exactly what you just told us. Then, together, ask you in-laws to stop coming in and around YOUR home unannounced. If that does not work, you'll have to get mean and change the locks. You deserve a life and a marriage without interference. Good luck.
2006-07-23 11:07:38 · answer #4 · answered by Susan O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
buy a dead bolt and you keep the key! your husband should talk with his parents you have feelings too just because he doesnt feel there is a problem does not mean you should have to change to his way of thinking. Or you could let them catch you with your pants down lol maybe they would respect your privacy allitle more.
2006-07-23 11:13:14 · answer #5 · answered by mississippi queen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change all the locks and don't give them any keys anymore. Tell them to call to ask if it's convenient for them to come over.
2006-07-23 11:57:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time they come over. Say this to them.
"I need you both to listen to me".
Tell them exactally this, I thank you for all your help, but when you come over unenvited, I don't like it. It is causing resentment between your son & me. I would like you to call me, not my husband and ask if it's ok, before you come over next time.
Thanks for listening!
Just say that & if their feelings get hurt then they do not care enough about you. Remember, this is not about them, it's about what you want.
2006-07-23 11:11:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't worry about manners, tell em you want em the hell out of your house so you can have some peace and quiet! Or, tell him, and pass the word that way. It's your house, your rules...
2006-07-23 11:06:17 · answer #8 · answered by gokart121 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change the locks and the codes.....Tell your honey that it just has to be this way...
2006-07-23 11:07:36 · answer #9 · answered by panda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋