why do most people who enjoy fetish or bdsm sex are shy of thier sex status i for 1 am proud that i like to be

Answer 1

There have been some pretty good answers so far. I think that I can add to them in that society does a pretty good job of sweeping alternative sexual lifestyles off of the mainstream consciousness, and that can impact the very people that have those interests.

Imagine that you grow up with your parents, your church youth group, etc. There might be some interjection of an alternative lifestyle practice that comes into focus, maybe something from television or from seeing a couple of people not being very discreet. Then comes a statement about how bad that this kinky stuff is. The thing is that they are stating their opinion, of which they have the right to, but to someone that is still working out the moral implications of their urges, it's almost like a slap on the face.

It takes a certain amount of, to borrow a scientific term, activation energy to relieve someone of their past experience. That is, it's a large hump for people to overcome. Sometimes it is quick to overcome, especially if one makes friends with others that are not shy about their sexuality. Other times, the energy hill is so great that they shy away from anything sexual at all.

Let's just say that I am speaking from personal experience. I knew what my sexuality was like when I was a teenager, but it wasn't until my thirties before I rectified in my mind that my sexuality is not a moral failing, even though it is something that others in my life would be repulsed by. It had to come after a lot of self-exploration, but I decided to no longer be shy about myself in this regard. (I'm not stupid; I don't make it public knowledge, but I am able to share with others.)

As a society, we are gradually shedding the false images of alternative sexuality. It wasn't all that long ago that homosexuality was shuffled off into a corner as a deviant practice, but while there is still a lot of prejudice, the public has begun to accept this as a part of our culture. I think that fetish and BDSM is still in the corner, but the blinders are starting to lift, and I think that more people will find the activation energy to overcome their shyness and have the personal esteem to accept what they really are.

Answer 2

Despite recent positive attention in the media (CSI, The Secretary, etc.), many people do still view these kinds of activities as deviant. These people rarely understand what actually goes on behind closed doors, or the motivations that inspire that activity.

It doesn't help, either, that there have been a very few people who have misused the lifestyle, doing great harm to others, and who receive a lot of attention in the media. Several years ago, a man named John Robinson met some women over the internet and enticed them to come and meet him for S/m play, only to kill them brutally. When his farm was searched, police found the bodies of five women chopped up and stuffed into oil drums. He is now sitting on Kansas' death row. It only takes one of these people to make some think that all S/m practitioners are like that.

I know a woman who is a grade-school teacher in a small town. She also enjoys being tied up and beaten by her husband. If the parents of her students found that out, she would probably lose her career -- regardless of what those parents do, themselves. She would have to move to a new town, and would be ridiculed by many in the town. Right or wrong, that's reality.

I wish we could be more open about our lifestyle. Things are certainly changing for the better. But we still have a long way to go.

Answer 3

I guess there is more than one reason.

The most important one is that people in general restrict their sexlife to the privacy of their bedroom. And that includes fetish or BDSM sex.

Secondly, fetishes and BDSM are considered deviant and pervers
in our society and that is of course another mayor hurdle for a public expression of one's sexual preferences.

Answer 4

Because it is generally regarded as deviant in society. People will be naturally shy about their habits or enjoyments that differ from the social norm, similarly most people are shy talking about sex. Combine the two and it is no surprise people are shy.

Answer 5

That's a very good question, I for one i'm not into it but if you're not forcing anyone to do anything they don't want to why should you be victimise for what you like? Its a personal choice what you're into and as long as it doesn't bring harm to anyone else it shouldn't be a problem.

Answer 6

what can I say that hasn't already been said?