My husband to be's mother dislikes me with a passion and has gone as far as to call me a golddigger among other atrocities. She is hung up on the way I was raised in a comfortable working class home. I have been nothing but nice and polite to her and my partner's father but to no avail she only sees me as taking away one of her sons. This women is impossible to talk to, irrational and over bearing...can anyone give me some advice please???
2006-07-23 01:16:46 · 21 answers · asked by gypsywife2b 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I had the same problem with my future m-i-l. But it came down to one day when we got into it.. bad! And i stood my ground and told her i just wanted to love her son, that was it. and to be a part of her family. she actually calmed down and apologized and we have been closer then ever! Some guys have had problems in past relationsips and their mothers are none to pleased. they get it in their head that all women are that way. thats what happened with my fiance, his ex tore him and his family up good. so i got the brute end of it. maybe you should sit down and talk to her, if thats not a possibility, then the next time she degrades you, jsut tell her you just want to love her son, money or no money. she might be doing it to "test" you. let her know your up for the challenge!
2006-07-23 01:57:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Kill her with kindness??? It may take a while, but hopefully when she sees how happy her son is married to how, and how good you are for him, she'll come around (hopefully). Have you ever seen The Mother-in-Law Movie (can't think of the name of it) with Jennifer Lopez? You should watch that movie...it's really good! Maybe you'll begin to see some humor in your situation.
2006-07-23 08:23:47 · answer #2 · answered by Author Al 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her a good tongue lashing and tell her exactly how you feel and think about her. Cuss a little to make your point too! Sometimes that is the only way to get through to snobs like her. What do you have to lose, she hates you anyway!
2006-07-23 08:45:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds from what you have described that you have given it your best shot to try and establish some type of positive relationship with you future mother-in-law. However, since that hasn't worked, it's time for your husband to be to step up to the plate and speak up for you. (I am assuming he knows what has been going on - if not please tell him). By having your fiance talk to his mother he may be able to establish some ground rules on your interaction. He needs to tell his mother that while she might not approve of you, she needs to keep it to herself because you are his future wife and he doesn't appreciate her speaking badly about you. Good luck!
2006-07-23 08:27:40 · answer #4 · answered by sweet/jennie/leigh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.
Ever hear of love me, love my dog?
I can tell you that my brother married a gal
who could not stand my mother to the day my mother died.
It was HELL for all of us, for my brother,
and especially for my precious mother for 30 years.
Sister in law could not believe that my brother could love his mother and sister and still have enough love left over for her.
So. clearly, she did not understand that LOVE MULTIPLIES,
it does not divide!!!!!
Her fear divided our family.
We tried everything with her.
Everything.
Nothing could mend my sister-in-law's stinking attitude and if we had to do it all over again, I wish my brother had married another woman.
Family means a lot to us, we are Greek, and known to have close family ties--
I realize this is the reverse situation from yours, but once she is your mother in law, there is no changing horses.
Choose wisely.
You have a long road ahead of you.
2006-07-23 09:20:58 · answer #5 · answered by susieque 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you have to bare in mind that its you and your husband thats getting married not her.
Usually they ease up after the marrige thing is over.. so just keep on being polite and freindly
2006-07-23 08:23:56 · answer #6 · answered by pbatmanq 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Continue to be nice and have a little dealings with her that you can. Your husband to be should know your feeling and respect them. Remember that you are marring him not his mother. My wife too has problems with my mom and so we have little to do with her. I still call and I visit once in a while, but my wife and kids come first. My mom has her life and I have mine.
2006-07-23 08:23:12 · answer #7 · answered by rastus7742 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your fiance privately the depth of your feelings on this subject. If he defends the situation, you should not marry him. If he doesn't, ask him if he's willing to move several hundred miles away when you marry.
2006-07-23 08:25:42 · answer #8 · answered by wmp55 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will never ever change, i had one the same and people get em all the time, Stand your ground and dont let her get what she wants! In time she will either give up or keep making your life hard but if you love him you will put up with it!!!
2006-07-23 08:20:25 · answer #9 · answered by fuzzy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only way to get over this is to put her in her place if you don't its going to continue let your partner know your going to have to say something to her and just let her have it in a POLITE WAY ask her is this the way she is going to treat her grandchildren ( grand kids are big for moms ) tell her if your doing me like this then i don't know what you would do to my kids ( just the thought of not seeing them will kill her trust me I KNOW ) I understand its hard because you want to please your partner and you don't want to be mean to his parents but your going to have to do what you got to do in order to live the life that you want . Has he said any thing to her? LET HER KNOW WHO'S BOSS
2006-07-23 08:27:56 · answer #10 · answered by diva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋