How to heal a relationship of 9 years ?

Question

I have just broken off with my girlfriend of 9 years. All along we are a happy and loving couple together though sometime we quarrelled over small matters . We have travelled to many countries together on free and easy trips. And all the trips are very adventurous and memorable ones. But a twist of fate had made us unable to be together again. It was all my fault as I have a bad habit of gambling which causes the fall of our relationship.Though I promise her that I'll quit the bad habits, she insisted that we go our separate ways so that it is better for me and for her. I'm extremely devasted now. Everyday I woke up in the morning think of her, sending SMS telling her that I miss her. But there is not a single response from her. I have express my apologies to her too and she woud not want to meet me up again ever.

Please tell me how to heal our relationship, please !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

Hi...Bro.
Sad t hear your stories and if you dont mind....checked my view.
All of the above advice has their own point and their is 1 point which everyone lacked!You mentioned tt you 2 has been together for 9 yrs!Tt means she is not young anymore.....Every women in the world has their time to settle down.Tried to think for her.Give her something tt is more than gambling but now i think the chances is low.As she has already made her 1st move.
I totally agree with the advice given by all of the above.1st cut off your gambling immediately!Sending sms is not sincere enough!!!!!You love her!You cant live without her!You want to be a man who is willing to take care of her rest of her life!!!
Maybe it will be a little bit late now but at least tried to grab this last chance.....Dont waste time anymore!!!!!Go to look for her immediately!And the bottom line is. it is not the matter of healing your problem!!!!!Its the problem of can you felt what the rock is cooking behind the curtain!!!!Gd luck to you bro!

Answer 2

Seems you have lost the biggest gamble of all. How does that feel? Was the vice worth the loss?

Best advise - Give her time. Your gambling has hurt her more than it has hurt you. She derived no pleasure or money from your gamblings (thats what you may have gained) but she has lost 9 years of her life. You may win back all your money, but you can never repay a second of the 9 years she gave you. She has walked away empty handed. You have dashed every hope she had that you might turn around and offer her a quality life. As a woman she has lost more. Her biological clock was ticking. She is in pain. No one has the right to take precious time away from another human being. She has to reconcile with herself for the unwise decision she made in relying on your words and promises. It is she who has lost the final gamble.


If she does not return to you at all, she may be better off. I know these are harsh words, but unless and until you realise the full extent of the damage done, you will never have the incentive to reform totally. If you do realise what you have done, then there will be hope to revive the relationship. But that realization is only helpful to your relationship if she returns. But now is not the time to reach her. Let her be. Chances are if, her for love you is stronger than her hatred for your gambling, she may grant you another chance. A chance you must never blow. It is highly unlikely that you will ever get another chance. For all you know the chance is already lost. Gambling has destroyed many lives, now perhaps is the time for you to get counselling to overcome this vice. Not for her sake but for your own. If she does not return to you, accept the reality but thank her in your heart for making you a better man and apologise to her for the 9 years you took from her life.

It is my personal belief that she may give you another chance because 9 years is a long time. But you must give her time because she has lost faith in you for now. Focus on your healing first, then if life gives you another chance, and she calls or responds to you, then she must find that you have divorced gambling and are prepared to propose marriage to such a deserving woman.

Answer 3

Ask her out with a 3rd party as a witness. The 3rd party must also know your girlfriend then with the witness ask her to give you a final and last chance for this bad habit of gambling. Simple!

Answer 4

Sorry to say this I think your gf may have hinted you for quite sometime that she don't like you to be addicted to gambling and it seems that you didn't really pick up the hints.
So she is frustrated that you don't really bother to listen to her and this is the last resort she will do to you.
Use your sincerity to prove to her that you want to quit gambling once and for all. Hope it work for you. But if you start to gamble again, i think nobody can help you.

Answer 5

Show her you're serious about giving up gambling by seeking help from a gambling addiction recovery support group.

Answer 6

Brutal Dude!! Sorry to hear you're in such pain!!! I think the only way you're going to get her back, is to get professional help and show her that you're doing everything you can to change.

If that doesn't work, at least you know you tried everything AND you won't have this problem to deal with in your next relationship!

Good Luck, Bra - stay strong!

Aloha!!

Answer 7

If being with him feels thoroughly actual, than convinced, it is totally ok. yet in case you experience uncomfortable with him being that age then perchance the age hollow is too enormous. It relies upon on the way you experience about it and what age you both act.

Answer 8

Seek professional help for starters, then all you can do is not gamble. Harder then it sounds huh.