my man is in iraq and we have some problems right now, its not so easy to talk as he isnt here,?

Question

all we have are letters, and the last few weeks his letters have been very nasty, ive tried being calm and strong, i know its not easy for him being there, but i feel maybe i should walk away rather than face this anymore, what do you do??

ok, its not so much a fight, hes just writing with anger, i write to him everyday, and he didnt get any mail for 10 days so he was angry about that and so he writes to me screaming at me yelling accusing me of not caring, and hes very offensive, now i havent heard from him in 10 days i know hes having a hard time, but so am i he doesnt seem to understand that and im up and down, one day he writes and says he loves me atc etc etc next day its all about bitching me out

Answer 1

Hi if he is in the UK army then type in ebluey in google.
This will bring up a site where you can type your letters to him and they will be downloaded and delivered to him within24 hrs.

You obviously love him and walking away now (unless he is being very horrible directly to you) would hurt both of you.

Maybe if he is getting your letters quicker (ie ebluey) then it will help. I know Iraq is getting worse at the moment and being with a solider is never an easy option but if you love him hang in there.

Answer 2

I too have served in Iraq. It is not nice. Only today (Sunday) another 26 were killed in Sadr City with another 40 being injured. Your man will not be the same man when he returns and will need a lot of TLC. You will need to support him a lot and maybe think less about yourself. Are you prepared for that? If you loved him you proably would. Using a mobile to call UK is expensive. Try to connect on computer and talk a lot more about him rather than yourself. No-one who has not been to Iraq will truly understand what he is going through right now.

Answer 3

I presonally don't know whats the scuffle between you guys. But, if he's accusing you of something you are not, talk it out with him. But if he's fighting over silly things, it's just his frustration. People tend to take a lot of frustration on someone they love or trust cause they feel that person can understand their problem better. He must be going through tremendous stress in the battle field, and obviously have no one to confide. You're his only hope. Try to be patient, he'll come out of it.

Answer 4

you need patience, the next time you write tell him not to make things difficult for you that things cannot be perfect, you need to let him understand you are waitng and praying for him. If he does not get a letter you are still praying for him and the postal system is not perfectly functional, let him know that when he sends letters its a reflection of how he feels and you need to know he is composed rather than making you fall to pieces when you receive mails from him, the purpose of writing is nullified if it does not make you both stronger for each other.

Answer 5

Cathy, it was really sad to read your message, I know where you are coming from! My partner is in Iraq and has been for over 2 years (security contractor)! He does get really down, this usually manifests itself in bad moods, he feels resentful and me being at home with the children, I feel resentful that he has gone away! Even when he comes home, it usually results in us fighting and arguing, I find it very hard adjusting to him being there and getting in the way of my routine.

I have often thought "its time to walk away" but have stuck with it. Its not easy for him in Iraq and not easy for you at home either!!

Email me if you want to chat - good luck x

Answer 6

WEll how would you describe nasty? HAs he offended you? Has he said anything that would make you think that he less then loves you? HE is going thru an awful lot but you have to consider your self aswell................... right him a point blank letter, state what is in your heart and make your desision with what he answers............... if he answers nothing, then thats what your relation ship has as a chance.

Answer 7

i agree it's very very hard, my husband is also deployed and it's depressing. we only get to email, he rarely calls. i have been under so much stress lately with our 2 kids.....we've been fighting.....we are married so of course we are gonna work through this but for you, even if you break up at least try to be a friend. it's very hard for them over there as well. battle stress is something we over here will never fully understand....

Answer 8

He's under a lot of pressure right now.
If you are married, then try to understand this, he will be given help on return to uK.
If you are not married - i would question whether you are right for each other - but don't dump him while he is away - he'd never forgive you for that!

Answer 9

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Answer 10

Just remember that they are going through a lot over there. My Dads out there are the moment and my mum is finding it very hard without him. Its prob all the stress that he is going through, and the weather out there is hot.