a first time mom, plain housewife - im tired and bored - am an irresponsible mom?

Question

My baby was really unplanned. so everything changed. When i delivered my baby 8months ago, it was a different feeling. I was really happy, excited, mixed emotions while holding my baby. for the first few months, i was still excited. i wake up early in the morning to cook for my husband and my step son, cleanning apartment once a week, taking care of my son ( including waking up at dawn), laundry and cooks for dinner. basically thats my routine everyday. lately, i fed up. im tired and im bored. i told my husband if he could give me at 1 day off - just to relax and to sleep. my husband is a mechanic, working 12 hours a day. during weekdays, i understand he cant help me because his work is too much too but sometimes im tired too - I NEED A BREAK! i told my husband about it but he was just nodding. he said that my job is so easy than his. so, i realized that every weekend it seems that im so sensitive that we always have an argumentation. what do you think about me?am i just irresponsibl

sometimes im tired cleaning the apartment because sometimes im following the mess that my husband and my step daughter had done. i told him that clean up their mess - they just do it for a couple of days then go back to their old routine. i cant remind them everyday - they might say im a ******. but sometimes i just felt im their maid.

Answer 1

I don't think you're irresponsible... Everyone needs a break from work, and being a mother, unlike most jobs, is a 24/7/365 job. I'm sure your husband works very hard; but his comment about your job being easier than his sounds immature. I don't think he means to be disrespectful, but perhaps he just needs to grow up a bit. You might have to be the wiser of the two. Are there any friends or family who could help you with the kids? You and your husband really need to work as a team; perhaps he feels that you don't appreciate him working long hours and providing for the family, and so he feels resentful? (I.e., he's feeling towards you the same as you feel towards him.) Perhaps, you can ask for his help in some small task he might enjoy - like, take the kids to the park one weekend; I can't imagine a father not enjoying an outing with his kids. Maybe the time will come when helping you will come naturally to him.

Answer 2

I think you're like every other young woman who didn't use birth control...Welcome to the mommie zone. I suggest taking your baby to a day care or ask a neighbor to babysit or if you have family nearby ask one of them to watch the baby for a few hours during the week to give yourself a break. Then relax at home, take a hot bath, do your nails, take a short nap...Another suggestion (and this one is kind of harsh) When your husband gets home from work hand him the baby (don't ASK him to take the baby just HAND him the baby) Then take the keys to the car, go to the car get in and drive away ...drive around town for a little while, just enough time to make your husband realize just how much WORK a baby really is....it's better if the baby has a full diaper when you hand him over to...see if that will make your husband appreciate you just a little bit more...

Answer 3

Believe me, you are not alone. Most mothers feel this way at some point. You are not irresponsible, just normal. Childcare gets easier as the baby gets older.

It sounds like your husband has his hands full with 12 hour job, but I understand that your job is 24/7. I hope he helps you some on his days off, at least.

Look around your community for a "Mothers Day Out" program. Many churches offer them and you do not have to be a member. It will give you a much needed break. Good luck.

Answer 4

No! You're not irresponsible, you're bored. You're tired of the routine and I bet your husband is probably just as tired and bored as you are from working his 12 hour days. I don't understand why men always undermine the work that is housework! Don't listen to him when he says your job is easier, because his ENDS when he gets home, yours is constant because it involves maintaining the home, which you're always in, and your family who are always around you. Get a relaxing hobby or class that you can do on the weekend that's outside the home which will force your hubby to stay there while your gone and take care of the baby (hopefully) and you'lll get out of the house and be able to do something that's just for you, which will sustain you all the week long while you look forward to it.

Answer 5

Why don't you find yourself a little part time job, say 4 hours over lunch, or 4 hours in the evening 3-4 days a week...Hire a sitter for either..

This will get you out of the home, you will meet people, and you really wont mind going home, plus you will have a little of your own money...

Or hire a sitter 2 afternoons a week and just go shopping, lunch or visiting..

To me you sound like you just need to get out of the house, have some time to yourself...

No you're not insensitive at all, and most definitely NOT irresponcipal... your just plain bored..

gl

Answer 6

An 8 month old has naps... use this time for some you time: even a nice bath, a facial. some floor exercises. Who says you are plain? if you think you are, read some motivational books to find ways to work on your self-esteem.
Maybe look around for some occasional day care where you can drop off Baby for just a couple of hours to give you time out, go to the hairdresser or just a walk....

Answer 7

To be proper moment for your child bearing,you should be planned first,we call Birth Spacing Program.You can use condom or IUD or Depo Provera injection,or abstinence during around the 14th days,normally from the 10 to the 20 after menstruation.You will have the first child to help you.

Answer 8

you are not a bad mom, you are just in need of a break. and if you don't get one soon you are going to feel burnt out and resentful of your children and your husband. trust me, i've been there done that. my husband did not lift a damn finger for the first 2 years that our son was born. do what you have to to make yourself happy. if your husband won't help you, stop doing things for him so you have more time and take the kids to daycare and do something for yourself. good luck

Answer 9

thats not irresponsible no one likes cleaning and you do it all the time so you do need a rest tell yo step son or dauther that they need to clean up there mess your not there maid. my dad tells my mom that his job is harder but she sticks up for her self and wont back down i know how you feel tired and couped up in the house but you need to go out to. you should drop the kids off at yo parents or his parents house and take that day to relax you desirve it.o yeah have a family meeting to dicuss

Answer 10

no, your not irresponsible your just bored. and no his job is not harder than yours. the best thing you can do to relieve the boredom is go shopping with the money he makes. because it belongs to you also