How to tell "my kids their dad cheated on me"?

Question

"I found out that my husband cheated on me. I feel bad, how am I going to tell my kids?"

This is a friend.

Im trying to help a friend who is going throw this. I need some ideas and yes Im a man.

Children age: 8, 10, 13

Thats why part of the question is in quotes.

Answer 1

If they are younger she should wait until later when they'll understand. Either way they won't really understand the concept of cheating until they are married themselves. The best thing she can do is just tell them the facts and let them know if they have any questions then she's there to answer them. That way they get what they need from it.

Answer 2

You DON'T tell your kids. This would obviously be a stressful situation for you, and the kids are already stressed from family problems. YOU don't even know how to deal with this, so how could kids possibly know what to do with that information?! If you want to tell them when they are older (18), that is a different story. But telling young children adult situations is NOT the thing to do - any family counselor will tell you this.

Some people do that by getting back at the cheating spouse - trying to make them look as bad as possible or showing they are responsible for the break-up of the family. This will only make it harder for your kids to adjust to an awkward time in their life. When they get older, they will see him for what he is.

Answer 3

I think it depends on how old the kids are. My dad cheated n my mom. Even though I was 4 years old, I knew what was going on. My mom however, never realy talked about the reason for their divorce until we were old enough to understand... and even at that.. my brothers who were old enough to understand, resented her.... of all people. If you are going to sty with your husband.. then the kids don't need to know... and if you are getting a divorce, I think you should spare them the details until the wounds aren't do raw. Your husband could always break it to them so that you're not the bad guy. He should do it.. he's the one who cheated. Good Luck to you.

Answer 4

Depends on age of children...and always better not to sully the other parties reputation....let them find out themselves when the time is right. One day the other parent might feel the need to confess

Answer 5

The only reason she wants them to know is so they will hate him like she does.

She needs to think of her kids first instead of her (justified) desire for revenge.

She needs to understand one thing clearly; her children love their dad. Trying to change that will only hurt and confuse them. Yes, she could probably hurt him through her kids, but she will be damaging them in doing so.

Answer 6

IF you wait if or more like when the kids find out they will hate the parent who didn't cheat for not telling them.Trust me.

Answer 7

Unless you are divorcing, telling your kids is uncalled for. Unless they are adult kids, and even then I wouldn't recommend burdening them with that. If you need to cry on someone's shoulder then call a girlfriend.

Answer 8

Kids don't need to know all the dirty lil details! It is between the parents! Best of luck.

Answer 9

ur a guy!!! hmmm is it that the language
any way if u mean ur wife!
then u dun tell them cuz they r kids and u dun tell kids abt this stuff so they wont learn abt it now u have to wait till they grow up!

Answer 10

what do you mean this is a friend...your avatar is a man...oh and don't tell the kids that dad cheated on you if they are young.