I always say YES to people but people will most likely to say NO to me, WHY?? Most people around me likes to take advantage of me because I am too NICE and maybe STUPID.
I am freaking hated it when people are constantly taking advantage of me.And I want some ways to STOP that! If it cannot be completely stopped at least show me how to MINIMISE it.
2006-07-22 19:12:25 · 11 answers · asked by Berserker_Gatsu 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Realize that this is your life. You hold the power over it. Learn to say no, and be committed to yourself first. That's it.
2006-07-22 22:11:03 · answer #1 · answered by pureromancebypatricia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. You almost have to totally reprogram your whole way of thinking. You must be a people pleaser, and get some valadation from it. So what I did, was start simple. Just say NO. I don't care if someone calls and asks if you can come over and tie their shoes, tell them no. And leave it at that. It's hard to take advantage of someone if they are not available, so just become unavailable. And don't him-haw, seriously mean NO when you say it. Dude, eventually people will get the hint and back off. And by the way, your not stupid for being nice. Your being stupid for letting these jerks use you. And once you reach a point where you notice, and you will, people will only come to you when it is absolutely necessary, and then the choice will be up to you weather or not you want to assist them in whatever it is they need. Don't worry about coming across as a meanie, because your not. Just seriously restrict your availability.
2006-07-23 02:29:33 · answer #2 · answered by frigidx 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, first, like beyondparadise said, it starts with you.
Friend, you are not STUPID. It is not a WEAKNESS to be nice to people. In fact, it takes a lot of effort to help people especially if you feel bad or had a crummy day.
The only thing you might be, like I was, is naive. I too wanted to help people and love them and perhaps, be appreciated in return. From the way they treated me when I was down, I got to know who were friends I could rely on and which ones were just out to use me. I stayed close to the real friends and helped them best I can but the others I dealt with more wisely.
Know who you are, learn to love yourself first and be loved, then you can share that with others without worrying about being taken advantage of. And if you really can't do it, be realistic, don't kid yourself and don't beat yourself up for saying no. You're human, not the savior of mankind. :)
2006-07-23 03:21:40 · answer #3 · answered by Studier Alpha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is an old saying, "No one can take advantage of you without your permission." Say NO and mean it. Don't give the reason why - they aren't entitled to know - just say "NO!". I had a friend who was asked to chair a committee. This was going to take a lot of time for 2 years and she didn't know how to say "no" and she was miserable about it. I told her to call up the person who asked her to do this and tell them she changed her mind. She said, "I can't do that!". I said you can pick up the phone and take 2 minutes or 2 years on this committee if you don't call." she called and she was sooooooo happy! The person just said, "OK, I understand." Learn to assert yourself.
2006-07-23 02:21:43 · answer #4 · answered by angelicsanto 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all, i think you shd start believing in yourself. once u have built up your self confidence and belief, you will be able to assert yourself. when you ask for things, know that you really want it and that you ought to have it. Show people you mean what you say and they will give it to you.
With regards to people taking advantage, maybe u can start practising say "no" to small requests, with a valid reason. something like "i'd love to help but right now i am really caught up with something else. If you would like, maybe a while later".
from there, work yourself into saying no to biigger things. most imptly, be assertive and firm. :)
2006-07-23 02:18:02 · answer #5 · answered by beyond paradise 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's ok to be nice to other people, but you may want to look for other kind of friends, or before you act you can think and maybe say "No" sometimes.
2006-07-23 02:16:56 · answer #6 · answered by noeg4975 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say No
2006-07-23 02:17:03 · answer #7 · answered by sashaaspen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should start by taking your finger out of your nose
2006-07-23 02:47:02 · answer #8 · answered by leadbelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Practice in the mirror...
Hi...will you come babysit my 5 kids for free all weekend???
You reply........ NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
But why?????
NOOOOOOOO I can't.
2006-07-23 02:20:08 · answer #9 · answered by barbaradjt 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
start being MEAN , and stand up for ur self
2006-07-23 02:16:23 · answer #10 · answered by hejhs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋