Should my friend leave his wife? need advice?

Question

my friend is married with a kid, and his wife is overseas on a holiday, he has got involved with a very beautiful 21 year old,he told her he was 25, but he's really 32,he told her a different name not his real name, but now he is in love with her, and he dosent know what to do, these are 3 options I told him he had:

A)To end it now before his wife comes back (and this will traumatize his new girlfriend cos she has severe emotional problems due to a history of being abused) but he dosent want to hurt her cos he loves her.

B)He could ask her to be the other woman in his life which would mean he can be there to support her emotionally & continue the relationship without his wife knowing (I told him he wouldn't be living a double life, he'd be living 2 seperate truths).

C)He could just run away wif his new girlfriend but that would mean he would lose his house and kid.

these are the only options I could think of to tell him, has anyone here got any ideas on what he should do?

Answer 1

Commit suicide?

Answer 2

Your friend should break off with both women and join a monastery if he can find one that would take him. What he'll actually do, is whatever he decides is good for him and it won't have anything to do with being the right thing for wife or girlfriend. You see, he is selfish and untrustworthy. Do the math --- he's taking advantage of an emotionally troubled 21-year-old to cheat on his wife at the risk of destroying his family. This is the kind of friends you hang around with?

What you should really worry about is having a friend like your friend. Wake up and smell the roses. Anybody that would be so despicable is not going to be much of a friend for anybody. He's probably only your friend because he can take advantage of you or use you in some way. When he's finds a better deal someplace else (read: meets a bigger sucker), he'll dump on you just like he's doing to the little woman.

Do yourself a favor. Get this problem off your conscience by calling the wife and the girlfriend and telling each of them what's going on. Then call your "friend" and tell him to get lost because you don't need friends like him.

Answer 3

Well, choice B doesn't sound like a very good option. So he's left with choice A or C, which ruins someone's life. I think he should choose A, leave the girlfriend and keep his family stable for this wife and kids sake. He might get hurt, kind of his own fault though. Then he needs to take important step 2, which is to go into counceling. He obviously has some issues he needs to deal with if he's cheating on his wife and messing up other people's lives. Step 2 is VERY important. Without it, he will probably end up with another choice A, B, or C.

Answer 4

there's a fine line between pleasure and pain, and in his case the pain will be coming soon, why doesn't he give his wife some options too, tell her the truth, or does he want to keep her around so everybody thinks hes a clean family man, maybe he feels obligated to be with his son, i think his son would be better off without him i mean what kind of values would that kid grow up with, i think if he put as much attention into his marriage as he puts into this other woman he might find out things about his wife that could amaze him, shes still a woman, someones sister someones daughter, someones mother(his son) she deserves respect because you choose to marry her and ruin her life, if he hates her so much why doesn't he divorce her, he never will divorce her hell just keep winging and whining all his pathetic life boo hoo look at me I'm unhappily married, he never even gave that marriage a chance to begin with, just divorce the poor girl I'm sure she can do a hell of alot better, the only thing he can get is stupid whore, im guessing he didnt meet his girlfriend somewhere respectable it was probably at a bar or over the net, what a looser, thats as good as he can get im guessing no decent woman would ever want him.

Answer 5

Option D) First he shouldn't have a girl friend he's married. If he's not happy then he needs to get out of that relationship. Second be honest with his girlfriend about his name and age and maybe she'll dump him for lying ( that b@stard) and does his gf know about his wife or did he lie about that too.
Third: He's not going to like this; but he needs to be honest w/ his wife too. Then that might even narrow down his options more yet. She might leave him for cheating and kick his @ss out of the house which then leaves him with option E
Option E) Now that he has no gf and no wife now he can live w/ u. I hope u don;t have a gf !!!!!!

Answer 6

well this is a big problem this means that he got a lot on his hands what he should do is dump his girlfreind and stay with his wife cause i mean is just terriblle especially for the wife let them be freinds cause relly he lied to the girl which means that once the girl finds out she will get more hurt than before what your freind should do is be freinds with her and support her in each everyway. as freinds now if the wife is a terrible wife then get a divorce and then he could go with his girlfreind leave her take his child and leave well thats my option but he has to be freinds if not your freind can to lose everything at that moment i know is a terrible thing to say but is the truth.

Answer 7

he needs 2 break up from girlfriend and stay wit wife n kid cuz having a girlfriend is stupid cuz he has a nice wife, 1 child, good job, nice looking house and car and he wants 2 loose all that 4 his girlfriend? and he not faithful cuz he lied 2 his wife, child, bout his name and age what kind of man does that 2 his wife and kid? i don't one besides him. so u can tell him what i told u or u can tell him something different. i told what i think, but if u tell him my oppinion then he might take it da wrong way so make sure u let it out slow and calm, and don't 4 get what i told u k. and if u like my answer the best vote 4 it k- dis is the pretty baby gurl speaking!

Answer 8

You aren't very careful who you choose for a friend. He's 32 years old and still this immature? This guy is cheating on his wife. He is lying to his girlfriend. He is not being the father of the year to his child. And why are you getting involved in this mess? There is one clear choice. He needs to grow up; stop seeing the other woman; and start being faithful to his wife if he's lucky enough to get another chance!. However, if his wife learns what a scumbag she is married to, she may very well make the choice for him!!

Answer 9

Option D) Stand up and be a man! Tell the truth and stop thinking with the head between your legs.

You are supposed to be in a committed relationship with your wife. She deserves to know the truth. She should have the option to stay or kick your cheating butt out.

If you really loved the other woman you wouldn't be lying to her. You have a relationship with someone you know is unstable what happens if she decides to do harm to the child?

Best of luck to your wife and child.

Answer 10

Well I would think he should be honest with his wife some peopel are not in love with each other just casue of kids. He should be a man and tell the girl he was seeing the whole truth too and if she is dumb enought to stick it out let her have him . But he should still be a man and have a part of his childs life. But he might wind up alone but is caught in way to many lies and must not even know the truth. Should get a DR's help.

Answer 11

this sure is tough too! we aren't perfect, that's why your friend came to this situation...
your friend, might pick the first option you gave: he must stand firm as he was already married... he might just be missing the presence of his wife, that's why he did things like this..
hope you could get more advices from the Bible, New international version
Romans 12:9-21(NIV): Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another... Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer... Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud... do not be conceited...Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends..."
romans 13: 10: Love does no harm to its neighbor. therefore love is the fulfillment of the law"

when he will have some doubts: they must talk it over, with a light heart, must be open with each other! never leave a question unanswered till the next day comes... i hope you can get answers from the Bible... God bless!
c",)