what t.v show or movie was based on the fairmont hotel??

Question

the fairmont hotel in san fransico does anyone know??

Answer 1

The 1983 TV show named "Hotel", which starred James Brolin.

http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0084093

Answer 2

george is right it was the tv series HOTEL..

Answer 3

Fletch (1985)
by Andrew Bergman.
Based on novel by Gregory McDonald.
Final Draft.
More info about this movie on IMDb.com
FADE IN
EXT.CALIFORNIA BEACH – DAY 1 Seagulls squawk, and the waves
pound, but we’re not talking about Malibu Colony, here. This is a
fairly rundown beach area, catering to lower-echelon surfers,
vagrants, and strung out druggies of all ages, several of whom stand
or sit on their haunches by a dilapidated old hamburger stand. Over
the stand is a faded sign: "FAT SAM’S HAMBURGERS". A
simple but haunting electronic melody plays in the b.g.

INT. "FAT SAM’S" – DAY 2 Seated just inside the stand on a
folding aluminum chair is a chubby man in his late thirties. He’s
wearing a stained valor sweat suit and a cap. This is Fat Sam.
He’s a dealer. Seated on the sand next to him is Fletch, a rangy
man, early thirties, in jeans and a Magic Johnson T-shirt, nodding
idly on a battered Casio music machine which he treats lovingly. This
is the source of the title music.

FLETCH
So what do you figure?

FAT SAM
No idea.

FLETCH
No idea at all?

FAT SAM
Okay. Some idea.

FLETCH
Like when?

FAT SAM
Like tonight.

FLETCH
For sure?
FAT SAM
No, not for sure. When it comes, it comes.
You gonna want some $hit?
FLETCH
I think I’d rather have drugs.

FAT SAM
(shakes head and smiles)
Fletch…

FLETCH
Sorry. I find a little humor really brightens things up around here,
don’t you?

A young junkie with a black eye – Gummy – passes.

GUMMY
Hi Sam. Hi Fletch.

FLETCH
Hi Gummy. How’s the eye?

GUMMY
It’s okay. The cops did it.

FLETCH
I know.

GUMMY
They busted me last week.

FLETCH
They bust you every week.

GUMMY
I know. I got bad luck or something.

Gummy exits. Fletch and Fat Sam watch him go.

FLETCH
That kid spends any more time in jail

He’ll have to start paying rent.

3 WIDER ANGLE THROUGH
BINOCULARS

Fat Sam and Fletch conclude their conversation. Fletch walks back
among the drifters, the nervous, expectant junkies. He stops
to talk to a young man propped up on his elbows on a
towel. Creasy.

4 CREASY AND FLETCH

FLETCHMaybe tonight?


CREASYWhaddyamean 'maybe'?

FLETCH That's what he said.

CREASY(getting desperate)He doesn't know? How come he
doesn't know?

FLETCHI don't know how he doesn't know. He doesn't know.

CREASYSonofabitch.

FLETCHWonder who his supplier is.

CREASYI have no idea.

FLETCHI wasn't asking.

CREASYHe never leaves the beach, Fat Sam. Never
leaves.Sits in that chair, he's outta junk. Then he
suddenlygets up, he's got junk. So where does it come
from?Through the sand?

FLETCHI think that's highly unlikely, Creasy.

CREASY(rolls over)I ought to get some sleep.

FLETCHCreasy, how old are you?

CREASYNineteen.

FLETCH(a touch of sadness)You're not taking real good care
of yourself.

5 WIDER - BINOCULARS AGAIN

Fletch takes his Casio and starts off the beach. The
binocular angle follows him. A pelican crosses the
water. The binoculars move off Fletch and follow the
flight of the pelican as it swoops low over the ocean.

6 BEACH PARKING LOT - DAY

Fletch emerges into view, walking towards camera, when a Man steps
into the immediate f.g., the binoculars at his side large in
frame. Fletch Stops.

MANExcuse me. I have something I'd like to discuss with you.

FLETCHWhat?

7 REVERSE

A trim man of approximately Fletch's age, wearing a perfectly tailored
grey suit, is standing across from Fletch. This is
Alan Stanwyk.

STANWYKWe can't talk about it here.

8 MASTER

FLETCHWhy not?

STANWYKBecause we can't.

FLETCHAre you on a scavenger hunt of some kind?

STANWYKI want you to come to my house. Then we'll
talk.

FLETCHI think you've got the wrong gal, fella.

STANWYKI'll give you a thousand dollars cash just to come to
my house and listen to the proposition. If you reject
the proposition, you keep the thousand, and your mouth shut.

FLETCHWill this proposition entail my dressing up as Tina Turner?

STANWYK(unsmiling, all business)It is nothing of a sexual
nature I assure you.(Takes a thousand in cash from his
pocket)One thousand, just to listen.I don't see how you
could turn that down Mr...

FLETCHNugent. Ted Nugent.

STANWYK(shakes his hand)Alan Stanwyk.

FLETCHCharmed.

9 EXT. BERMAN STREET - BEVERLY HILLS - DAY

A Jaguar XJ sedan goes up Berman Street, a dead end. Fletch's hand
reaches out of the passenger window and empties sand out of a
sneaker.

10 INT. JAGURE - DAY

FLETCHI always liked this part of town.

11 EXT. BERMAN STREET - DAY

The Jaguar continues on up Berman Street, stopping before massive iron
gates marked PRIVATE PROPERTY -- NO TRESPASSING -- STANWYK. The
gates open electronically.

12 EXT. STANWYK HOUSE - DAY

The jaguar goes up the center of the drive toward a white-pillared
mansion. The lawns and planting are spectacular.

13 INT. JAGUAR - DAY

Fletch stares out the window.

FLETCHWhat a coincidence.

The car stops before the house.

STANWYKWhat?

14 EXT. HOUSE - DAY

as they get out of the car.

FLETCHI came this close...(holds fingers slightly
apart)...to buying this place

Stanwyk ignores Fletch and starts toward the house. Fletch follows.

FLETCHThen I found out Hopalong Cassidy hadshot himself in
the game room. Thatjust blew it for me.

STANWYKWho?

FLETCHHopalong Cassidy. Killed himself here.Bow and arrow.
Strange.

Stanwyk stops before the front door, stares at Fletch

STANWYKWhat are you, doped up or something?

Fletch abruptly changes gears, stares at Stanwyk

FLETCHI don't work for you yet, assface.Don't talk to me
like that.

STANWYK(after a beat)Come inside.

15 INT. HOUSE - DAY

Stanwyk and Fletch enter. A Mexican Maid crosses.

STANWYKBuenas dias.

MAIDBuenas dias.

She disappeared.

FLETCHI commend you on your Spanish.

Stanwyk doesn't reply, keeps on walking. He opens a set of double
doors to theleft of the winding staircase, then stands to one
side, indicating that Fletchshould enter.

16 INT. LIBRARY - DAY

Massive fireplace. Everything built in teak. Fletch enters, and
Stanwyk closesthe door behind them.

FLETCHAhh, the library. Masculine but sensitive.

Stanwyk wordlessly goes behind the desk

FLETCHReally, I love what you've done with the place.Must
have cost you...hundreds.

Stanwyk turns, looks out a pair of French doors behind his desk, then
turns back.

STANWYKHere's my proposition, Mr. Fletcher.

FLETCHI'm all ears.

STANWYKI want you to murder me.

17thru OMITTED19

20 FLETCH

Even garrulous Fletch is stopped in his tracks by this remark, uttered
in the most business-like manner.

21 STANWYK

STANWYKHere. On Thursday. I'd like you to shoot me dead.

22 FLETCH

He just stares, barely breathing.

23 STANWYK

STANWYKThe reason I ask you to do me this serviceis that I
am facing a long, painful, and mostcertain death. You see, I have
bone cancer.I don't know if you know anything about bone cancer.

24 FLETCH

He shakes his head.

25 STANWYK

STANWYKIt doesn't get any worse than that. Just eats you up,
bit by bit.

FLETCH

Finally regains the gift of speech.

FLETCHYou don't look sick, Mr. Stanwyk.

27 MASTER

STANWYKI don't feel sick. Not yet. They tell me it'llstart
getting bad in about a month. After that...well, I'd rather not
be around for it.

FLETCHWhy don't you try suicide?

STANWYKMy company has taken out a very large insurancepolicy
on me. And I have a wife. Suicide would nullify my insurance.
Murder does not.

FLETCHSo why pick me?

STANWYKYou're a drifter, a -- pardon the expression --beach
bum. No one would notice if you disappeared. I've watched you for
a couple weeks.

FLETCHMaybe I'm just on vacation.

STANWYKNot with the scum you hang out with. I've watched.
I've thought. Its a perfect scheme. I even have a perfectescape
plan for you.

FLETCHDid it ever occur to you that I might not want to kill you?

STANWYKI've got fifty thousand dollars says you will.

28 FLETCH

He chews his lip.

29 STANWYK

STANWYKFifty thousand and a guarantee you won't get caught.

Stanwyk searches Fletch's face carefully for a reaction. After several
beats....

FLETCHI'm still here.

STANWYK(turns and goes to the French doors)I want it done
Thursday evening, around eight PM.My wife will be off to the club
for a committeemeeting. It's the staff's night off.(pushes
doors open)These will be open.

30 FLETCH

FLETCHWouldn't they normally be locked?

31 MASTER

STANWYKSometimes yes, sometimes no. The staff usually
forgets.

FLETCHI have the same problem with my help.

STANWYK(goes on, unresponsive)I will be here in the room,
waiting for you.The safe will be open and there will be fifty
thousand dollars in it. You will be wearingrubber gloves. Do you
own rubber gloves?

FLETCHI rent them. Monthly lease, with an option to buy.

STANWYKIn this drawer....

He opens the top drawer of his desk

32 INSIDE THE DRAWER

an enormous .357 Magnum.

33 MASTER

Stanwyk holds up the gun.

34 FLETCH

FLETCHA .357.

35 MASTER

STANWYKVery good. My .357. Use it and no one cantrace
it to you. The room will be in some disarray.

FLETCHSo it looks like a burglary attempt. Youcatch me. I
get the gun, and shoot you.

STANWYKPrecisely. Are you a good shot?

FLETCH(looking at the huge gun)What's the difference? The
noise'll kill you first.

STANWYKGet me on the first shot, if you can.

FLETCHI don't think you'll have to worry about that.

A beat. Stanwyk stares at Fletch.

STANWYKDo you have a passport?

FLETCHSure, all drifters do.

STANWYKFine. After you kill me, take the Jaguar.The keys
will be in the glove compartment.

FLETCHTake it where?

Stanwyk starts to write down the information on a note pad.

STANWYKLAX. Go to the Pan Am desk. There will be a ticket
waiting for you.

FLETCHWhere am I going?

STANWYK(hands Fletch the note)Rio. Flight 306. Departs at
eleven PM.

FLETCHThey serve dinner on the flight?

STANWYKIt'll be a first class-ticket. I'm sure you'll enjoy
the ride. I would recommend staying down thereat least a year,
Mr. Fletcher.

FLETCHYou've certainly thought this out, haven't you?

STANWYKI am not someone who leaves a great dealto chance,
Mr. Fletcher.

FLETCHYou sure those doors will be open?

STANWYKYes. All you provide are the gloves, the passport,and
the aim. I'll take care of everything else.

FLETCHThe gun, the money, the tickets, and the dying.

STANWYKThat's right.

FLETCHYou sure got the hard part.

STANWYKWhat do you say, Mr. Fletcher? You'll be doingme and
my family a great service.

36 FLETCH

thinking it over.

37 STANWYK

STANWYKWill you kill me?

38 FLETCH

FLETCHSure.

39 INT. NEWSPAPER BUILDING - DAY

Fletch pushes through the double glass doors, still dresses in a beach
mufti -- the jeans and Magic Johnson shirt, Puma sneakers.

40 INT. L.A. NEWS OFFICE - DAY

Fletch is greeted ad-lib by several people as he walks through the
cavernous newspaper City Room.

REPORTERWhoa, check out the beach boy!

SECOND REPORTERLooking very good, Fletch.

FLETCHThank you so much(to someone else)Hey, Larry!

Larry, the young "morgue" researcher, hurries over and walks
with Fletch. She is fun and flirty, and her feelings for Fletch fall
just short of idolatry.

LARRYYo!

FLETCHCan I steal you for a minute?

LARRYOnly if you promise not to return me.

FLETCHDeal.

LARRY(pointing to Fletch's T-shirt)'Magic' today, huh?

FLETCHKareem's in the wash. I need a favor.

LARRYShoot.

FLETCHDon't say shoot, okay.

They pass the office of the city editor Frank Walker, fiftyish. Hold
on Walker's office. Upon noticing Fletch, he jumps from his seat,
edges his way past the two reporters in his office and runs outside.

WALKERFletch. Fletch!

40-A FLETCH AND LARRY

They continue their walk.

FLETCHDid you hear something?

LARRYNot me.

FLETCHMe neither. See what we've got on a guynamed Alan
Stanwyk, okay? I need it right away.

WALKER(running up to them)Fletch, I take it by your presence
here thatthe story is done. Tell me I'm right.

Fletch hold up a hand.

FLETCHW-Y-K no 'c.' I'll be down in a minute.

LARRYNo problem, boss.

Larry peels off and Fletch now talks to Walker without breaking stride
for his office.

WALKERFletch.

FLETCHFrank, you look a little peaked. Wanna vomit?

WALKERNo, I want an answer, Is the story done?

FLETCHUh, almost.

WALKER'Uh, almost' is not an answer. 'Yes Frank, it's all
done': that's an answer.

FLETCH(as he enters his cubicle)And a damn fine one, I might
add.

41 INT. FLETCH'S CUBICLE - DAY

A pile of mail is on his desk. On the walls are a team portrait of the
Lakers, plus a couple of blow-ups of his column. Fletch writes under
the name of Jane Doe. An unused word processor is on his desk, but the
keyboard has been moved aside to make room for an old, much-used Royal
typewriter.

He bounces some waste paper off the monitor into a strategically
placed waste can. (A lot of crumpled papers lie on the floor all
around the can.)

FLETCHTwo....

WALKERIrwin....

FLETCHOh, I hate it when he calls me that.

WALKERIrwin, professional journalism time, now. Go back to
thegoddamn beach and finish the goddamn story!

FLETCHI will, Frank, I will. Something came up, okay?

WALKERNo it's not okay. You have to have this in by tomorrow.
Did you see the ad we ran Sunday?

FLETCHI never read the paper.

WALKER...never reads the paper...

Walker goes through a pile of unread newspapers on Fletch's desk,
finds the Sunday paper.

FLETCHWhat's the spread on the game tonight?

WALKERI don't know.(holds up paper)Look!

FLETCHLooks great.

42 INSERT - AD

A full-page ad.

NEXT WEEKA "JANE DOE" SPECIAL REPORT:DRUGS ON OUR
BEACHES -SHAME OF THE CITY

43 MASTER

FLETCH'Shame of Our City' is so good.

WALKERNow, Irwin, try to follow me. You can't run the ad and
then not run the story.

FLETCHWhy not? Oh $hit...really?

Walker just stares at him.

FLETCHJust kidding, Frank. You'll have the story and you'll
be damn proud of it.

WALKERYou broke it? You know the source?

FLETCHPractically.

44 WALKER

ready to kill.

WALKERWhat's 'practically'? Is it Fat Sam?You said you had
pictures of him....

45 MASTER

FLETCHI have pictures of him. Dealing....

WALKERSo let's go! We run the pictures.

FLETCHHe's not the story! There's a source behind him.

WALKERWho?

FLETCHWell, there we're in a gray area.

WALKERHow gray?

FLETCHI'd say charcoal.

WALKER(straining for control)I'm going to bite out your
eyeballs, you know that?

FLETCHFrank, you animal, I love it. I'll have the storyby
Thursday night, I swear to God.(to himself as he exits)I
hope.

INSERT - NEWSPAPER CLIPPING

ALAN STANWYK NEW V/PBOYD AVIATION

A photograph of Stanwyk; a head shot. Hands turn the clipping paper.
Next clipping: a social page spread on the wedding of Alan Stanwyk.
("GAIL BOYD WED TO ALAN STANWYK.")

LARRY (V.O.)Everything's recent.

47 FLETCH AND LARRY

Fletch and Larry examine the file.

FLETCH'Mr. Stanwyk, of Provo, Utah, is a former commercial
pilot.'

LARRYMarried Boyd Aviation. He's no dummy,that's serious
coin.

48 INSERT - CLIPPING - TIGHTER ANGLE

FLETCH (V.O.)'Stanwyk's parents, Marvin and Velma Stanwyk,
alsoof Provo, were unable to attend the wedding.'

49 FLETCH AND LARRY

LARRY(affected accent)Not our kind of people, you
understand.

FLETCH(points to his back)Spot right here.

She scratches.

FLETCHThanks.

LARRYYou doing a story on this guy?

FLETCHMaybe.

He pours over some more clippings, then stops at one.

50 INSERT CLIPPING

headlined: "CANCER SOCIETY BENEFIT". A photograph of Alan
and Gail Stanwyk, with a gray haired man and his wife.

FLETCH (V.O.)'...Stanwyk, blahblahblah, with internistDoctor
Joseph Dolen.

51 FLETCH AND LARRY

FLETCHI wonder if that's his doctor.

LARRYOnly one way to find out.

52 INT. DOCTOR'S EXAMINING ROOM - DAY

Fletch, stripped to the waist. is being examined by Dr. Joseph Dolen,
a rather imperious physician.

DR. DOLENSo where do you know Alan from?

FLETCHWe play tennis at the club.

DR. DOLENReally. The California Racquet Club?

FLETCHYes.

DR. DOLENThat's my club too. I haven't seen you there.

FLETCHWell, I haven't played in a while because ofthese
kidney pains.

DR. DOLENRight, and how long have you had thesepains, Mr.
Barber?

FLETCHThat's Babar.

DR. DOLENTwo bs?

FLETCHOne. B-a-b-a-r.

DR. DOLENThat's two.

FLETCHBut not right next to each other. I thoughtthat's what
you meant.

DR. DOLENArnold Babar. Isn't there a children's book aboutan
elephant named Babar?

FLETCHI don't know. I don't have any.

DR. DOLENNo children?

FLETCHNo books. No elephants either. Noreally good elephant
books.

DR. DOLEN(eyes Fletch curiously)Still, it'd an odd name. I
don't remember seeingit on the club registry.

Fletch's eyes drift to Dolen's side table with its unnerving
assortment of medical paraphernalia.

FLETCHOh, I don't belong formally. I've gone with my aunt.

DR. DOLENYour aunt?

FLETCHMrs. Smith.

DR. DOLENJoan or Margaret Smith.

FLETCHRight.

DR. DOLENWell, which one?

FLETCHMargaret.

DR. DOLENFunny old bird.

FLETCHIs she ever. I've got some stories....

DR. DOLENI'll bet. Shame about Ed.

FLETCH(vamping)It was. Really a shame. To go so suddenly.

DR. DOLENOh, he was dying for years.

FLETCHSure, but the end was so sudden.

DR. DOLENHe was in intensive care for eight weeks.

FLETCHYes, but the very end, when he actually died,
that was extremely sudden.(quickly)You know, Alan and I were
recently speaking ofdying. Told me Boyd Aviation took out a lot
of insurance on him. You must have to be in some kindof
perfect health to get that kind of policy.

DR. DOLENBend over and drop your pants, Mr. Babar.

FLETCHOh really, there's no need to -- we don't want to do
that....

DR. DOLENJust relax....

FLETCHHonest, I feel fine. You better be married.

Fletch looks alarmed as Dolan pushes him into position. Dolan puts on
a plastic glove.

53 CLOSE - FLETCH

FLETCHDid I say 'kidneys'? I meant my ear. Maybe Ishould see
an ear dahhh --(as Dolan starts to probe from behind)Ever
serve time?

DR. DOLENBreathe easy....

FLETCHAnyway, I'm surprised Alan got the policy so easily.I
know there's a history of cancer in the family.

DR. DOLEN(noncommittally)There is?

FLETCHWhoa, look out there. You really need the whole fist?

DR. DOLENJust relax.

FLETCH(reacts to a poke)Gee, Alan's been looking kind of
sick lately.Is he all right?

DR. DOLENI can't discuss another patient. You know that.
(rising into frame and washing up)Well, I can't find anything
wrong with you.

FLETCHI'm sure it's not for a lack of looking. MaybeI should
get a real complete physical. You giveAlan an annual, don't you?

DR. DOLENYeah, we check you into Mt. Hebron for a few days,
run lots of tests, charge a bundle. You can pull your pants up
now.

FLETCHI hope they still fit. Do I get to keep the glove?

DR. DOLENTell the nurse when you've got a few free days.
She'llmake all the arrangements.

FLETCHThanks, Doc. Maybe I'll come back with a date.Or an
elephant.

54 INT. HOSPITAL RECEPTION AREA - DAY

Fletch is dressed in shorts, a clean shirt, and is carrying a doctor's
bag. He is wearing a stethoscope around his neck , has a beeper on, a
lot of pencils and other doctor gadgets. He's standing at the
directory

55 DIRECTORY

Combing it with his eyes, he sees the directory:

PATHOLOGY - THIRD FLOORB. ROSENSTIEN, M.D.H. ROSENBLATT,
M.D.P. ROSENWOHL, M.D.

Fletch goes to a door marked "Stairs."

56 INT. STAIRWELL - DAY

Fletch abruptly empties his doctor's bag and puts on a long green
gown, a cap and a face mask. He plugs the stethoscope in his ears,
removes miscellaneous file folders filled with papers, closes the bag,
and heads for Pathology.

57 INT PATHOLOGY DEPARTMENT - DAY

It's at the end of a long hall, and adjacent to the Autopsy Room and
the Pathology Records Room. Over his shoulder we can see into the
autopsy room where a gowned doctor is happily performing an autopsy.

RECORDS NURSE(to Fletch)Identification please.

Fletch hastily fumbles through his wallet, deftly dropping and picking
up the papers he has brought with him.

FLETCHIt's me doctor Rosenpenis. I just have to takeanother
peek at Alan Stanwyk's file. What have they done with this place?

RECORDS NURSE(confused at all his activity)Nothing. They're
still there.

FLETCHRight. Fine.

Still dropping and picking up, shuffling and collating, Fletch starts
toward the Files Room, when the doctor performing the autopsy yells at
him.

PATHOLOGISTHey you!

Fletch stiffens and turns around.

PATHOLOGISTGive me a hand for a second would you doctor?

Fletch hesitates.

PATHOLOGISTCome on, come on.

Reluctantly, he goes to the autopsy table, and the cadaver thereon,
which is covered by a sheet, except for the mid-section.

58 TWO SHOT - FLETCH AND PATHOLOGIST

(Note: from here on we never see the body.)

PATHOLOGIST(poking around)Have you ever see a spleen this
large?

FLETCH(trying not to look)Not recently.

PATHOLOGISTGrab this, will you?

FLETCHUh, I'm not really prepared. My hands aren't sterilized.

PATHOLOGISTYou're not going to make this guy any sicker.

We hear a squishing noise as he grabs something large and wet and
plops it into Fletch's hand. Fletch stands there holding something
icky out of frame, looking uncomfortably up at the ceiling, the floor,
anywhere but at the cadaver or at the stuff in his hand. Meanwhile, we
hear sounds of further incisions, and the deflating of an organ.

PATHOLOGISTYou never really get used to the smell, do you?

Fletch's eyes roll up, and he falls to the floor in a dead faint.

59 INT. RECORDS ROOM - DAY - MINUTES LATER

Fletch is on a couch, beginning to regain consciousness. The Records
Nurse hovers over him.

RECORDS NURSEAre you all right, Doctor?

FLETCHWhere am I?

RECORDS NURSEYou're in the Records Room.

FLETCHI'm fine.

RECORDS NURSECan I get you something?

FLETCHHave you got a make-shift plywood pillory? Heh Heh, just
kidding.

RECORDS NURSEDoctor Holmes went to get you some smelling salts.
He was quite surprised that you fainted.

FLETCHWell, I didn't want to say anything, but I thoughtthe
dead man was my brother.

RECORDS NURSEOh my God!

FLETCHIt's all right. It wasn't him butthat spleen was a
splitting image.

He sits up and sees that just outside the glass is none other that Dr.
Joseph Dolen, talking with the pathologist.

FLETCHOh, God, I think I'm about to hyperventilate.Have you
got a paper bag, or something.

RECORDS NURSEYes, right away.

She goes to get the paper bag, and Fletch turns his back on Dr. Dolen
to go through the file cabinet. By the time the Nurse returns, he's
got Stanwyk's file.

RECORDS NURSEHere you are, Doctor.

FLETCHThank you.

He puts the bag over his mouth and breathes deeply as he continues the
conversation with her. (From time to time, we see Dr. Dolen in the
b.g. looking over, but does not come into the records room or question
what's happening).

RECORDS NURSEIs there anything particular you're looking for?

FLETCHMy associates did a biopsy on this man recently.
(thumbs through file)He's supposed to have a melanoma, or a
carcinoma,some kind of noma. Hmmm. I can't seem to find any
recordof it.

RECORDS NURSE(taking the file)Well, if he had one, it would
certainly be in here.(searches)Wait. Here it is. Yep.
Surgical removal of two moles.Tissue was benign.

FLETCHThat's it?

RECORDS NURSE(shows him the file)That's it.

FLETCH(reading it)This was last month. So Alan Stanwyk does
not have cancer.

RECORDS NURSEI guess not.

FLETCH(very puzzled)He'll be so relieved.

60 EXT. SANTA MONICA STREET - LATE AFTERNOON

Fletch pulls up in front of his building, a 1970's cinderblock
apartment complex. Fletch parks his car halfway up the curb, gets out
and spots a Mercedes coupe. He starts running toward the rear of his
building.

61 EXT. REAR OF THE BUILDING - DAY

Fletch starts climbing up the fire escape of his building.

62 FIRE ESCAPE - DAY

Fletch reaches the second floor. He's huffing and puffing.

FLETCHChrist.

63 REVERSE

Attorney Charles Gillett is waiting for him on the second floor fire
escape. Gillett smiles.

GILLETTRefusal to pay alimony is a jailable offense, Fletch.

64 MASTER

FLETCHWhat about breaking and entering?(points to Gillett's
coat)Are you wearing anything under that?

GILLETTI did not break nor enter. I simply chose an advisable
location to await my client's delinquent husband.

FLETCHI hate to conduct business on the lanai. Why don't we step
inside.

Fletch takes out a credit card and jimmies open the lock on the
window.

65 INT. FLETCH'S APARTMENT - DAY

Fletch climbs in through the window, followed by Gillett. His small
apartment is just barely furnished. A low basketball hoop is attached
to the wall. Fletch takes a ball, offers it to Gillett.

FLETCHOne on one?

Gillett shakes his head. Fletch does a reverse shot and misses,
sending a plastic globe lamb crashing to the floor.

FLETCHAnd the foul.

Fletch takes a second, successful shot.

GILLETTYou owe Wendy nine hundred and eighteen dollars.

FLETCH(still playing b-ball)She doesn't need the money, for
crissakes. She's living with Monty. I know it.

GILLETTI don't know what you're referring to. Wendy
maintains her own residence.

FLETCHIt stinks. I thought woman were independent now.

GILLETTUntil she remarries, Fletch.

FLETCHHey, shut up, okay? I just hate this.

GILLETTI empathize with your plight, Fletch. However,you
threw her out.

FLETCHShe was sleeping with everybody. The cable TVguy. You
can't get lower than that....

GILLETTYou should have proved that in a court of law.

FLETCHMy lawyer was a bum.

GILLETT(smiles)I agree.

Fletch puts down the basketball, picks up a stack of mail and rifles
through it.

FLETCHI think he was sleeping with Wendy, too.

GILLETTYou may be right.

FLETCHAre you serious?

GILLETT(shrugs)That's history, Fletch. You owe us nine
hundredand eighteen dollars.

FLETCHWait a minute! Our problems might be solved.

Fletch holds up an envelope with Ed McMahon's picture on it.

FLETCH(continuing)I think I just won a million dollars!

He opens it and looks inside, feigning disappointment.

FLETCH(continuing)Damn...lost again. Sorry.

GILLETTThis is no joke. If some kind of payment isn't made,
we're going to have to contact the paper and garnish your wages.

Fletch sighs, takes out the envelope given to him by Stanwyk. He hands
a thousand dollars to Gillett.

GILLETTCash. I'm impressed.

FLETCHFound it in a cab. That's a grand.Apply the difference
to next month.

GILLETTTill then.

Gillett smiles and exits.

66 KITCHEN - DAY

Fletch opens the fridge. Inside are tow six-packs of Coors, a jar of
Miracle Whip, a half a cucumber, and a brown head of lettuce. Fletch
takes a beer and slams the door shut with such force that we hear
breakage inside.

67 MASTER - APARTMENT - DAY

In a foul mood, Fletch leaves the kitchen, and wanders into the living
room. It has the personality of an Abbey Rents.

He picks up the TV remote control. The television clicks on. Chick
Hearn is with Jabbar, during a Laker pregame warmup.

FLETCHThank God.

Fletch settles back.

68 TELEVISION

Hearn is gushing over Jabbar.

69 FLETCH

He watches contemplatively. He is bone tired.

70 TELIVISION

HEARNHow about Fletch?

JABBARWell, Fletch has been great. He's super-strong,really
clogs the middle for us, boxes out, gets the bounds....

71 FLETCH

He smiles and nods, deep in fantasy.

72 TELEVISION

HEARNNow here's a key play in Tuesday night's game....

Hearn and Jabbar look down at a television monitor.

73 FLETCH

He's half asleep.

JABBAR (V.O.)Here I am dishing off to Fletch....

Fletch raises an eyebrow.

74 TELEVISION

There's Fletch, his hair in an Afro, dressed in Laker gold. He's on
the receiving end of a Jabbar pass, making an easy layup.

HEARN (V.O.)Gosh, he makes it look so easy!

75 FLETCH

asleep, smiling.

77 PRICATICE COURT - DAY

Gail Stanwyk is on the other side of the net, loading tennis balls
into the automatic serve machine. She is in her late twenties and
quite attractive., but in a much more natural way than other women we
see here. She is good natured and effervescent. Fletch steps up to the
entrance of the court.

FLETCHGail Stanwyk!

She looks up. He enters the court with great delight.

FLETCH(continuing)I haven't seen you since the wedding,
Jeez, you look great.

MRS. STANWYK(genuinely pleased)I do? Oh, isn't that sweet,
thank you. I have to confesssomething to you. I must have been
pretty plowed at your wedding.I really don't have the faintest
idea who you are.

FLETCHHuh? No, not my wedding. Yours.

MRS. STANWYKOh, mine! Thank God.(furrows her brow)
Actually, that doesn't make it any better, does it?Are you a
friend of Alan's?

FLETCHWe used to fly together. I'm...John.

MRS. STANWYK(snaps her fingers in happy recognition)John!
You used to fly together!

Her smile segues right into an "I'm sorry, bit I give up"
expression.

MRS. STANWYKJohn who?

FLETCHJohn Ultrarelamensky.

MRS. STANWYK(bursts out in laughter)Oh, I'm sorry. It's a
beautiful name, really.

FLETCHIt's Scotch-Rumanian.

MRS. STANWYK(still loading tennis balls)That's a strange
combination.

FLETCHSo were my parents.

MRS. STANWYKMind if I keep practicing? I need to workon my
ground stroke a little.

FLETCHPlease.

As Mrs. Stanwyk crosses to the other side of the net, a waiter
approaches Fletch.

WAITERExcuse me sir. Are you a guest of the club?

FLETCHYes, I'm with the Underhills.

WAITERThey just left, sir.

FLETCHThey'll be back. He had to go in for a urinalysis.

WAITERWould you care for a drink while you're waiting?I can
put it on the Underhill bill.

FLETCHGreat. I'll have a Bloody Mary and a steak sandwich.

WAITERVery good sir.

The Waiter leaves, and Fletch watches as Mrs. Stanwyk tries to return
the serving machine's serves. She swings so goofily that she can't
even get the racket on the ball. She has clearly never taken a lesson
in her life, and it is doubtful if she will ever make contact with a
tennis ball in this century.

MRS. STANWYKDamn, I thought I had that one.

FLETCHYou should play with much larger tennis balls. So how's
Alan?

MRS. STANWYKWhat are you asking me for? He's so busy lately I
hardly see him.And he's been so preoccupied.

FLETCHPreoccupied with what?

MRS. STANWYKOh, personal stuff. Look! I hit one!

Indeed, she has. Strait up. She and Fletch crane their necks upward to
follow it's flight.

FLETCHGood. Lobs are a very important part of the game.

She completely misses the next one.

FLETCHWhy do you keep doing this?

MRS STANWYKI love the outfits.

The next one she hits with the handle.

FLETCHTry stepping into the ball with your left foot.

He demonstrates a swing. She puts on a determined face, makes an
awkward step and swings at the next ball, missing it completely, and
letting the racket fly.

FLETCHThere, much better.

Mrs. Stanwyk laughs happily and dodges the machine-served balls to
walk over to Fletch. When she's almost up to him, she turns back to
the serving machine and points a finger at it, as if addressing a pet
dog.

MRS STANWYKStay!(to Fletch)I must be having an off day.
I'm really a fabulous player.

FLETCHI have this effect on lots of women.

MRS STANWYKI bet you do.

FLETCHSay, the reason I asked about Alan is that I bumped
intohim this morning and you know what I can't figure out?

MRS STANWYK(catching him in his lie)Alan's in Utah.

FLETCH(after a beat)I can't figure out why I went to Utah
for the morning.

MRS STANWYKOkay. I'm delighted to have someone to talk to,
and you're very cute, so I'm very flattered, butI'm also very
married so you may as well forget --You are trying to hit on me,
aren't you?

FLETCH(thinks, then nods)I'm such a heel. How'd you guess?

MRS STANWYKIf I had a nickel for every one of Alan's flyboy
buddieswho tried to pick me up, I'd be a rich woman.

FLETCHYou are a rich woman.

MRS STANWYKSee what I mean?

She trots back to her ball machine. Fletch calls after her.

FLETCHWhat's he doing in Utah?

MRS STANWYKNone of your business, now go away.You're
throwing my game off.

Fletch chuckles -- he likes this woman -- and exits.

78 BOYD AVIATION - DAY - ESTABLISHING

A sprawling, Hughes-like complex.

FLETCH(O.S.)...then who walks in but George Bush. He
took one look around the room...

79 INT. JOHN BOYD'S OFFICE - DAY

A Secretary is serving coffee to Fletch (now dressed in a three piece
suit) and John Boyd, Gail Stanwyk's father. At seventy, he is probably
Chairman Emeritus now; no longer running the day-to-day operations of
the company, and thus somewhat grateful from the company.

FLETCH(continuing)...and said 'Sorry Mr. President, I
thought it was Saturday.'

Boyd Laughs.

FLETCHI thought I was going to die.

SECRETARYSugar, Mr. Poon?

FLETCHThank you.

Fletch notices a framed wedding photograph on the credenza behind
Boyd. It is of Alan and Gail Stanwyk, Alan beaming a $hit-eating grin
and holding a happy thumbs-up.

Fletch waits as the Secretary leaves the room, then begins speaking
confidentially.

FLETCHOkay.

He opens his attache case, allowing Boyd to see an airline ticket, a
Washington Post, and a file stenciled "Confidential/S.E.C.
Use only."

FLETCHFirst of all, let me just reiterate that this is not
a formalinvestigation. I'm not going through formal channels
here, becauseif Alan Stanwyk is not involved in any
improprieties, then nobodyhas to know I was even

BOYDAlan Stanwyk is not involved in improprieties.
Wherethe hell does the S.E.C. come off

Fletch is nodding sympathetically and holds up a quieting hand. Boyd
stops in mid-tirade, and watches as Fletch reaches into his briefcase
and seemingly turns off a tape recorder.

FLETCHLook. You know that and I know that, but somebody's bucking
for a promotion. I think it's that bozo, Hanrahan, I can't be
sure.Anyway, unless I go back there with something, you and your
son-in-law are next week's scapegoats.

BOYDUnbelievable.

FLETCHI feel like dirt. They even want to know what he's doing in
Utah?

BOYDUtah?(laughs)Jesus Christ! First of all, Alan
Stanwyk does not own one share of stock.The three million dollars
for the ranch in Provo comes from my daughter who converted some
of her personal holdings, not company holdings. Now if
anybodyin DC wants to make something of that, bring 'em on.
Until then, get the hell out of my face.

FLETCH(stands and closes briefcase)God I admire you.

BOYDBy the way: what kind of name is Poon?

FLETCHComanche Indian.

80 ALAN STANWYK'S OFFICE - DAY

Fletch breezes in, right up to the Secretary, whose nameplate reads
MADELINE TURNER.

FLETCH(rapidly)Oh, Margie, sorry, Frieda lost the number
of Alan's realtor in Provo. Can you give it tome real quick?

MARGIEJim Swarthout?

FLETCHYeah.

She writes it out for him.

MARGIEAnd, I'm sorry, who are you again?

FLETCH(grabbing the paper)Frieda's boss.

MARGIE(calling after him)Who's Frieda?

FLETCH(out the door)My secretary.



81 EXT. BEACH - DAY

Pan across the beach....

FLETCH (O.S.)Larry, it's me....

Fletch is in a phone booth on the sidewalk next to the beach, keeping
an eye on "Fat Sam's."

FLETCHSee if you've got anything in Stanwyk's backgroundfrom
when he lived in Utah. Also check on a realtorin Provo named
Swarthout. And tell Frank I'm crazy about him and I'd like to
discuss his maybe movingin with me.

We hear police sirens. Fletch looks O.S.

FLETCHLater.

He hangs up.

82 FLETCH'S POINT OF VIEW - FOUR SQUAD CARS

have pulled up to the beach, lights flashing. The druggies are
dispersing. Creasy is running towards Fletch.

CREASYFletch! Take off!

83 FLETCH

He steps out onto the beach, and starts towards the cops.

84 MASTER

CREASYWhat are you doing?

85 MASTER

Everyone is scattering. The cops run past everyone, and approach
Gummey.

86 FLETCH AND CREASY

FLETCHThey're after Gummy again. It's weird.

Fletch keeps moving toward the police.

CREASY(out of breath)Fletch, slow down.

87 GUMMY AND THE COPS

Gummy trips and falls in the sand. A Cop kicks him in the head.

COP #1Let's go, Gummy.

88 FLETCH AND CREASY

still running toward the cops.

FLETCHHey, what are you doing?

CREASYFletch, this is dumb.

FLETCHYou don't have to run with me, Crease.

89 MASTER

The cops drag Gummy toward a squad car.

90 ANGLE - "FAT SAM'S"

Fat Sam peers out, watching the action.

91 MASTER

Fletch approaches the cops.

FLETCHWhy are you beating up on that kid?

No responce from the cops.

FLETCHHe's defenseless, and you kick the crap out of him.
What do you want from

One of the cops turns and, in one smooth motion, kicks Fletch in the
balls. Fletch sinks to the ground.

92 SQUAD CAR

Gummy is packed into the squad car.

93 FLETCH

He rises slowly from the sand. He is in great pain. He starts after
the cops again.

94 CREASY

CREASYFletch!

95 MASTER

FLETCHWhat goddamn right do you have to take him?

The cop car starts off. Fletch picks up a rock, hurls it at the cop
car. It smashes the rear window.

96 CREASY

CREASYFletch!!!

97 MASTER

The cop cars go off. Fletch bends over. He's hurting. Creasy comes
over to him.

CREASYHey you're really nuts.

FLETCH(breathless)They didn't do anything.

CREASYWhat? What are you talking about?

FLETCHI busted their window, they didn't do anything.

CREASYYou're lucky.

FLETCHNot luck. They don't want me.

98 POLICE CARS

In a caravan, they head down the highway.

99 FLETCH

He turns and looks towards "Fat Sam's."

100 "FAT SAM'S"

Fat Sam watches the police cars go down the road, then turns and looks
towards the ocean. He pulls his Angels cap down over his head.

101 CLOSE - FLETCH

He is focusing on something, but has not figured it out yet.

FLETCHGummy and two cops....

102and OMITTED103

104 INT. FRANK WALKER'S OFFICE - DAY

FLETCHCool your tool, Frank, I need a littlemore time. I
think I'm really on to something here.

WALKERYour onto something. That's good. What?

FLETCHI really don't want to spoil your surprise, Frank.Why
don't you read it tomorrow?

Larry, knocks on the door.

WALKERWhat do you want?

Larry points to Fletch.

WALKERSpeak, don't point!

LARRYI need Fletch for a second.

FLETCHShe needs me, Frank.

Fletch turns to Larry. Push to two shot.

LARRYNothing on Gail Stanwyk, nothing on Jim Swarthout.But I
did

FLETCHThat's okay, Lar. I gotta put this on the backburner
for a while.

Larry starts to exit.

WALKERJust give me a hint, all right?

FLETCHAll right. Maybe there are some crookedcops involved
in all this.

LARRY(stopping in the doorway)Did you say cops?

FLETCHYeah.

LARRYThat's one thing I did find. It's fromLast
month, so it was in the unsorted pile.

She hands Fletch a clipping.

105 INSERT - CLIPPING

It is an article and photograph of the newly-appointed citizens on the
Police Advisory Board. One of them is Alan Stanwyk.

WALKERWhat's that?

106 MASTER

Fletch pockets the photo.

FLETCH(puzzled)More cops.(then)I think I gotta go
to Utah, Frank.

WALKERUtah?

FLETCHYeah. It's wedged in between Wyoming and Nevada.I'm
sure you've seen pictures.

WALKERWhat about finding the source?

FLETCHI have some ideas.

WALKERWho? Donnie and Marie?

FLETCHVery possibly. Come on, say yes. I'll buyyou a shirt.

WALKERGo to transportation, get a ticket.

LARRY(to Fletch as he exits)My hero.

FLETCHNothing to it.

107 EXT. PROVO, UTAH - AIRPORT -DAY

A Western Airlines flight arrives.

107-A EXT. HIGHWAY - DUSK

Fletch's rented Fairmont speeds down the highway.

107-B INT. FAIRMONT - FLETCH

wearing a polyester brown suit -- fiddles with the radio. Snatches of
programs are heard: "easy listening" music;
country-and-western; a revival show; a call in show -- "Hi,
you're on the air." "Hello, Bob, I'd like to discuss the
death penalty. As you know, Jesus was in favor of it --" Fletch
whistles and switches the radio off. He turns the car off the
interstate.

108 EXT. TRAVELODGE - LATE AFTERNOON - ESTABLISHING SHOT

as Fletch drives up.

109 INT. TRAVELODGE MOTEL ROOM

Fletch dials the phone in the small, sparsely furnished room.

FLETCHHi, Jim Swarthout, please. Oh, hello, my nameis Igor
Stravinski and I'm looking for some ranch property.

110 INT. SWARTHOUT REALTY

Jim Swarthout is a rugged-looking man in his forties. He sits in the
den/office of his house talking on the phone, surrounded by
pine-paneling, property tract maps and wall-mounted animal heads.

SWARTHOUTGood, Mr. Starinski, what'd you have in mind?
(pause)Uh huh. Oh are you a friend of Alan's?

111 INT. FLETCH'S MOTEL ROOM

FLETCHNo, I just heard some people at the club talking about the
propertyyou sold him, and the way it was described, three million
sounded likea pretty good price.(pause)What?

Fletch pauses again to listen, flummoxed over what he has just heard.

FLETCHAre you sure?(pause)Of course. I guess I was
misinformed. Listen,I'd love to come out and see you anyway.
When are you available?

112 INT. SWARTHOUT REALTY

SWARTHOUTWell, I'm about to close up shop and go out for the
evening. How about first thing in the AM?(pause)Great. See
you tomorrow.

113 INT. FLETCH'S MOTEL ROOM

FLETCHTomorrow.

Fletch hangs up, very interested.

114 OMITTED

115 EXT. SWARTHOUT REALTY - NIGHT

Fletch stops his car in front of the ranch-style house. A lighted sign
in the yard indicate that this is indeed Swarthout Realty, but the
house is dark; no one appears to be home. Somewhere in the yard a dog
barks viciously, frantically.

116 DOG

A killer Doberman is tied up behind a chain link fence. At the sight
of the intruding Fletch, the dog's lip is practically over his nose,
his fangs are poised and gleaming.

117 FLETCH

FLETCH(getting out of his car)What's your name fella? Fluff?
Pom-pom?

118 DOG

completely bananas.

119 FLETCH

Fletch reaches the front door and looks around. He rings the bell. The
dog yowls even louder. Fletch waits. And waits. He rings again.
Satisfied that no one is home, he tries the front door. Of course, it
is locked. He takes out a credit card, starts to jimmy the lock, and
actually seems to be making progress when his credit card snaps in
half.

FLETCHSh*t.

He pockets the broken credit card, steps back and looks over the house
for another possible point of entry.

120 FLETCH'S POINT OF VIEW - AN UPSTAIRS WINDOW

Double-hung. Slightly warped, so that the upper half does not exactly
true with the lower half.

121 FLETCH

looks around to see how to climb up to it.

122 MASTER

There's only one way. Climb up the side of the chain link fence which
separates him from the murderous dog. Fletch approaches it warily. The
dog is practically foaming. Fletch reaches out a hand to get a hold of
the fence, and the dog just about rips the fence apart.

FLETCH(in his best Barbara Woodhouse)Sit-tuh!

This has no effect, so Fletch backs up a few yards, take a deep breath
for courage and makes a headlong running start for the fence, using
his momentum to get to the top before the dog eats him. He grabs hold
and scrambles wildly for the top. He makes it.

FLETCHRoll over. Play dead. Good boy.

Fletch now grabs hold of the eave on the side of the house, and very
carefully pulls himself onto it. It's only about ten feet from there
to the vulnerable window, but the angle of the eave is rather steep,
and the going is treacherous. As he makes his way, he keeps a wary eye
on the dog who keeps leaping up, seemingly getting closer and closer
to taking a giant bite out of Fletch's backside.

FLETCHYou any relation to Doctor Dolan?

Now he's at the window. He tries to open it, but despite it's warped
appearance from the ground, it is locked. Fletch looks at the lock and
can't believe it. He sighs. He shakes his head. He smashes the window
with his elbow.

FLETCHI hate this.

He climbs into the darkened house, leaving the enraged dog to run
furiously around the fenced in yard that surrounds the house.

123 INT SWARTHOUT'S HOUSE - UPSTAIRS - NIGHT

Fletch tiptoes though the upstairs bedroom and down the stairs. From
outside, he can still hear the dog snarling and barking.

124 INT. SWARTHOUT'S HOUSE - DOWNSTAIRS - NIGHT

As Fletch passes through the living room he sees the dog snarling at
him through the living room window.

125 INT. SWARTHOUT'S DEN - NIGHT

Fletch enters and looks around.

The dog is now outside the den window.

FLETCHMake sure nobody comes in, okay?

He goes to the file cabinet and opens it.

He flips through the "S" section. "Stanwyk". He
pulls it. He thumbs through various documents until he finds what he's
looking for. A copy of a deed. He pulls it out.

125-A INSERT - DEED - CLOSE ON THE PURCHASE PRICE

Three Thousand Dollars.

FLETCH (O.S.)So much for your three million dollar ranch.

126 FLETCH

takes out a tiny document camera -- the kind spies use in the movies
-- and loads it fumblingly. Then he props the deed up on top of the
file cabinet, and moves a lamp into position to light it. Just as he
snaps his first shot, we hear a terrible crashing sound.

127 WINDOW

The murderous Doberman has made a crashing leap right through the den
window, sending glass flying everywhere, and he streaks across the
room to rip Fletch into bite-sized shreds.

128 MASTER

Fletch bolts and the dog flies into the file cabinet, knocking it
over, scattering all the files over the floor. Fletch dashes for the
nearest door, and runs through it just as the dog slams into it.

129 INT. KITCHEN

Fletch is now holed up in the kitchen, panting to catch his breath,
feeling the full course of adrenaline pumping through his terrified
veins. He sees that he can get to his car by climbing through the
window. But in order to get to the window he has to let go of the
door, and that would allow the dog to get in.

Looking around frantically, holding the door shut against the furious
slamming of the dog, he reaches for and finally grabs a mop which he
props under the door knob, thus keeping the door shut. Letting go of
the door gingerly, he satisfies himself that the dog cannot get in,
and he makes his break for the window.

He vaults up onto the counter top and is just about to break the
window when he sees that the dog's continued efforts are about to
result in opening the door.

Fletch knows he has only seconds. Standing on top of the counter, he
opens the door of the restaurant-sized refrigerator next to him, and
just as the snarling dog bursts into the room Fletch starts hurling
food at it. A pot roast, sliced turkey with stuffing, a couple of
filet mignons. The dog is momentarily distracted. Fletch pours a large
bucket of cranberry sauce on the dog.

FLETCHSuck on this Cujo!

Then he dumps an equally large bucket of mashed potatoes. With the dog
temporarily vision-impaired, Fletch bolts.

130 EXT. SWARTHOUT HOUSE - NIGHT

Fletch runs as fast as humanly possible towards his car, fishing for
his keys as he goes. The dog -- having shaken off the people-food from
his hateful face -- is seconds behind and closing.

Fletch makes it to his car, hops inside, and slams the door just as
the dog leaps furiously at the windshield.

131 INT. FLETCH'S CAR

Fletch makes it to his car, huffing and puffing. The dog jumps across
the closed window, snarling and bug-eyed with hatred.

Fletch smiles, waves at the dog, and starts taking its picture with
his little camera.

FLETCHGimme a smile! There you go...oh, that's a nice one...
(starting the car)Everything's fine, now...go take a little
nap....

Fletch is ready to pull out, but the dog is still leaping madly at the
window. Fletch points back to the house.

FLETCHLook! Defenseless babies!

The dog turns to look and Fletch guns it.

FLETCHThat dog is such an A**hole.

132 EXT. FLETCH'S APARTMENT HOUSE - DAY

Fletch parks his car halfway up on the curb, steps out carrying a
small overnight bag. He is unshaven and looks beat.

133 INT. APARTMENT HOUSE - CORRIDOR

Fletch comes down the hall signing "Billie Jean" is an
excruciating falsetto.

FLETCH'Bil-lie, Bil-lie...'

He opens the door to his apartment and is immediately thrown to the
ground.

134 INT. APARTMENT

Fletch is spread-eagled on the floor. Two huge Cops are over him, one
holding a gun to his head, the other going through his clothes.

COP #1(feeling the inseam of Fletch's trousers)Oh, what's
this?

FLETCHIf I took that out, you guys couldn't fit in here.

COP #1Funny boy. Look at this....

He produces a heroin bag.

COP#2Looks like heroin, Gene.

FLETCHYou just planted that.

Cop #1 kicks Fletch in the ribs.

COP#2What'd you say?

FLETCHRead me my rights.

COP #1Okay. You have the right to remain silent. Youhave the
right to be kicked in the face by me.You have the rights to have
your balls stomped.You have the

FLETCHHold it! I'll waive my rights.

135 EXT. PRECINT HOUSE

Fletch is lead into the precinct house.

136 INT. PRECINT HOUSE

The Sergeant at the desk checks Fletch out.

SERGEANTWho we booking here, gentlemen?

COP #1No booking. Chief wants a talk with the boy.

SERGEANTOh Yeah?(smiles at Fletch)You'll like the
Chief. Nice man.

FLETCHI hear he's mellowed a lot since he came out of the closet.

SERGEANTI find he gets real mellow after he hits somebody a lot.

137 DOOR TO CHIEF'S OFFICE - CHIEF'S OFFICE

The cops open the door, pull Fletch inside. Chief Cummings, looking
like a modern executive, looks up from his paperwork.

COP #1Here he is Chief.

They roughly throw Fletch into a chair. The Chief -- seemingly
oblivious to this brutality -- smiles sincerely.

CUMMINGSEasy fellas.(To Fletch friendly)Be with you in
just a second.

The two Cops leave. As Chief Cummings continues with his paperwork
Fletch looks around the office, which is decorated tastefully -- no
guns on the wall, no American flags. On one wall there is a Matisse,
and on another, various photos of the Chief with local celebrities.

FLETCHYou decorate this yourself or did Mrs. Chief of Police
help you?

CUMMINGS(laughs)You should have seen what she wanted
to do with the place. Mauve.(shakes his head and pushes his
papers aside)So what's your name?

FLETCHFletch.

CUMMINGSFull name.

FLETCHFletch F. Fletch

CUMMINGS(skeptical but patient)I see. And what do you do for
a living,Mr. Fletch?

FLETCHI'm President of the International Fletch Corporation.

Cummings just stares at Fletch.

CUMMINGSWhy are you doing this Mr. Fletch?

FLETCHFrankly sir, you look a little like my father. Probaly
explains the curious feeling of love I have for you.

CUMMINGSFor a gentleman who was just found holding a bagfull
of heroin....

FLETCHIt was planted on me, sir.

CUMMINGSWe're looking at five years, maybe ten. Is thatwhat
you want...Jane Doe?

He suddenly kicks Fletch's chair out from under him. Fletch falls to
the floor.

CUMMINGSYour editor called me yesterday to respond to
allegationsyou're about to print about police involvement in
narcotics dealing.

Fletch starts to get up, but Cummings plants his foot on Fletch's
chest, forces him back down.

CUMMINGSI'm about to break that beach wide open, and I don't
need some pennyante Woodward and Bernstein getting in the way of
my men.

FLETCH'Your men' might just be involved in all this.

CUMMINGSYou idiot. Off the record, deep background:I've got
that beach crawling with undercover cops.

Cummings picks Fletch up, and holds him by the lapels.

CUMMINGSIf you keep nosing around, you make the bad guys just
a little bit more cautious. That makes my job harder.And if
you print your story this week, you might get some of my men
killed. I can't let that happen, Mr. Fletch.

He throws Fletch against the wall of celebrity photos, some of which
fall to the floor.

CUMMINGSYou go back to that goddamn beach, I swear to God
I'llmake you regret it.

FLETCH(picks up a picture)Hey, you and Tommy Lasorda. That's
great.

Fletch takes the picture and hurls it across the room. It smashes into
the opposite wall and shatters.

FLETCHI don't like Tommy Lasorda.

138and OMITTED139

140 JAIL CORRIDOR

Fletch is tossed into an empty cell by the two Cops who brought him
in. Cummings watches. The two Cops leave, and we see that all the
cells in this corridor are empty.

FLETCHYou can't keep me here.

CUMMINGSMaybe I'm not going to keep you here.(takes out a
gun)Maybe I'm gonna blow your brains out.

FLETCHI'm no lawyer, but I do believe that's a violation of my
rights.

The Chief takes a knife out of his pocket, holding it with a
handkerchief.

CUMMINGSAfter I shoot you, I stick the knife in my arm, then
place it in your dead hand. Self-defense. We don't do thisvery
much anymore...but we have. Got rid of a lot of minorities that
way.

FLETCHMy God, you're serious.

CUMMINGSAsk anybody.

FLETCHCan I ask anybody now?

Cummings looks down the corridor. Deserted.

FLETCHCan I call my Mom? I'd like to tell here how muchI've
always loved her.

CUMMINGS(cocks the gun)What'll it be Fletch?

Fletch looks in Cummings' eyes. They are steely and cold. He is quite
serious.

FLETCHI hate the beach. Wouldn't go there if you paid me.
Besides, I'm way overdue on my story about off-trackbetting in
the Himalayas. You don't think it's the mafia,do you?

CUMMINGS(opening the cell)Its been very nice meeting you. I
enjoy your column.

Fletch walks out of the cell. Cummings walks with him through the
empty corridor to the exit.

CUMMINGS(very chummy)Speaking of which, you're not going to
printanything before my investigation is through, are you?

FLETCHNot a prayer.

CUMMINGSThat a boy.

The emerge into the main hallway of the police station, which is
filled with officers and civilians. Cummings makes a show of cordially
shaking Fletch's hand as if they were old friends.

CUMMINGSThanks for coming down to see us.

FLETCHNot at all, Chief. But next time...no tongue, okay?

Exit Fletch.

141thru OMITTED147

148 INT. NEWSPAPER OFFICE

Fletch is railing at Frank Walker.

FLETCHHow could you call him?

WALKERIt's called journalism, Fletch. It's called getting
both sides of the story. Something you apparently don'tknow
anything about.

FLETCHIt's also called getting me this close to being murdered.

WALKERGet out of here.

FLETCHHe threw me in a cell, took a gun and a knife and
threatened to kill me right there if I didn't promise to give up
the story.

WALKERYou know, I've had it up to here with yourbullsh*t. I
need a story from you by tomorrow.

FLETCHYou'll have it.

WALKERBut not unsubstantiated charges about dope-dealing
cops, and not horse sh*t paranoid fantasies abouthomicidal police
chiefs.

FLETCH(exiting)Thanks for the vote of confidence, Frank.

WALKER(calling after him)I want something I can print!

FLETCH(giving him the finger)Print this Frank.

Exit Fletch.

149thru OMITTED152

153 EXT. RAQUET CLUB

Fletch again appears in his tennis whites and walks familiarly toward
the patio. Rich people are having lunch. Fletch stops the waiter.

FLETCHHi, where's Mrs. Stanwyk?

WAITERIn her cabana, sir.

FLETCHOh, that's right. She told me to meet her there.That's
cabana six?

WAITERCabana one.

FLETCHOne.

WAITERWould you be caring for something to eat or drink, sir?

FLETCHI would, actually.

WAITERCharged to the Underhills, sir?

FLETCHRight. Tell you what -- have you caviar?

WAITERYes, sir. Beluga. But it is eighty dollars the portion.

FLETCH(whistles)I'd better only get two. How about the
lobster thermidor?

WAITERI recommend it.

FLETCHFine. And a couple of bottles of Dom Perignon. To
cabana one.

WAITERVery good, sir.

The waiter leaves. Fletch looks around, takes a deep breath.

FLETCHThis is just the nicest place.

154 OMITTEDand155

156 EXT. CABANA ONE

A little Spanish bungalow-type affair. Old California money-style
elegance. Fletch rings the bell.

MRS. STANWYK (V.O.)Who is it?

FLETCHIt's John. John...(forgets name)Znhcneelsky.

MRS. STANWYKJohn Ultramalensky?

She opens the door, clad only in a towel. A towel is wrapped around
her head. She seems surprised, but not displeased, to see Fletch. She
also seems a little at a loss for words.

FLETCHHi.

MRS. STANWYK(finally)Hi.

FLETCHI was hoping you'd say that.

They have just shaken hands, and Fletch notices his hand is now
sopping wet.

MRS. STANWYKUh...I'm just out of the shower.

FLETCHCan I borrow your towel for a minute?

She laughs a nervous little laugh. There is a bit of sexual tension
here.

MRS. STANWYKI'm sorry, I'm just surprised to see you. I
didn't think...What do you want?

FLETCHI ordered lunch.

MRS. STANWYKYou ordered it here?

FLETCHWell, I knew this is where my mouth would be.

MRS. STANWYKDown boy.

With a nervous glance in both directions, she lets him in and closes
the door behind them.

157 INT. CABANA

They stand there for a few seconds looking at each other.

MRS. STANWYKI really should change.

FLETCHNo, I think you should stay the same wonderfulperson
you are today.

MRS. STANWYKI mean put clothes on.

FLETCHHere, take mine.

He starts to take off his shirt. She is amused, and responds
playfully, but firmly.

MRS. STANWYKStop that!

He does.

MRS. STANWYKHave you gotten cuter since I last saw you?

FLETCHYes.

She stands there, looking around, trying to act as if her heartbeat
weren't speeding up.

SFX: Knock at door.

FLETCHLunch....

MRS. STANWYKGod....

She goes sprinting into the bathroom.

FLETCHCome on in.

The door opens. A second Waiter, Mexican, solemnly wheels in a cart
bearing the goodies ordered by Fletch. The twin bottle of Dom Perignon
juts from a silver ice bucket.

WAITERYou want I set up?

FLETCHNo thanks, I'll do it. Give yourself twenty dollars.
Underhill.

WAITERMuchas gracias.

FLETCHSierra del fuego.

The waiter bows, leaves, shuts the door. Mrs. Stanwyk scampers back
in, gazes at the cart as Fletch takes a bottle of Dom Perignon and
pops the cork.

MRS. STANWYKAll this goes on Underhill's bill?

FLETCH(offering her a glass)I saved his life during the war.

MRS. STANWYKYou were in the war?

FLETCHNo. He was. I got him out.

She laughs and sighs, knowing she's getting into something she probaly
shouldn't.

MRS. STANWYKI can't believe I'm doing this. Well, lets eat.

She tucks a napkin in her towel like a bib and sits at the table.

158 EXT. RAQUET CLUB - DAY

The Underhills have just been handed the bill run up by Fletch.

MR. UNDERHILLFour hundred bucks for lunch???

WAITERYour guest, sir.

MR. UNDERHILLWe have no guest here today.(reading the
bill)Two bottles of Dom Perignon, hundred bucks a pop. Jesus
H. Christ! Where is he?

WAITERI believe he's with Mrs. Stanwyk.

MRS. UNDERHILLGail Stanwyk. Tom, if he's with Gail Stanwyk

MR. UNDERHILLI don't care who he's with! This is criminal.

MRS. UNDERHILLTom....

MR. UNDERHILLShe's where, cabana one?

WAITERYes sir.

Mr Underhill stalks off.

159 INT. CABANA - DAY

Fletch and Mrs. Stanwyk are having lunch. Fletch sings while he opens
the champagne. She is looking at his back which is turned to her.

FLETCH'I've been so many placesin my life and times.
I've sung a lot of songs,I've made some bad rhymes....'

MRS. STANWYKIt's amazing.

FLETCH'I've acted out my life on stages,with ten thousand
people watching....'

MRS. STANWYKYour bone structure, shoulders, neck....

FLETCH'But we're alone now, and I'm singing this song for
you.'

MRS. STANWYKJust like Alan. It's freaky.

FLETCHCan I ask you a question?

MRS. STANWYKDepends on the question.

FLETCHAre you still in love with Alan?

MRS. STANWYKNo.(quickly)I mean, 'no you can't ask me
that.'I mean, ask me something else.

FLETCHWhy'd you let me in?

MRS. STANWYKBecause I'm bored. Oh, that sounds terrible, doesn't
it.I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I also letyou
in because I'm hungry.

FLETCHThanks, I feel much better. Listen, if you're so bored,
why didn't you go to Utah with Alan?

MRS. STANWYKUtah is not exactly a cure for boredom.

FLETCHGood point.

MRS. STANWYKOh, listen to me. I've never even been there and
lookwhat I say about it. Anyway, I know there'd be nothing
for me to do. I don't even know anybody there.

FLETCHWhat about his parents?

MRS. STANWYKHe never sees them and I never met them.

FLETCHHow come?

SFX: Insistent knock at door.

Fletch and Mrs. Stanwyk freeze.

MRS. STANWYKYes?

MR. UNDERHILL (V.O.)Mrs. Stanwyk, I hate to disturb you.Tom
Underhill here...I'm a new member.

Fletch rises.

FLETCHThanks for the great time.

MRS. STANWYK(sotto voice)What is this?

FLETCHLong story.

MR. UNDERHILL (V.O.)Apparently, someone of your acquaintance
hascharged the most extraordinary lunch to my bill.

MRS. STANWYK(hissing)John!

Fletch starts pushing the lunch table towards the bathroom.

MRS. STANWYKYou don't know the Underhills?

MR. UNDERHILL (V.O.)I'd appreciate an opportunity to discuss
this with you.

MRS. STANWYKI just stepped out of the shower!Can you give me
a minute?

MR. UNDERHILL (V.O.)Of course.

Mrs. Stanwyk follows Fletch into the bathroom.

160 INT BATHROOM

Fletch jams the cart into the bathroom.

FLETCHTake one end.

Mrs. Stanwyk lifts one side of the cart. They lift it and put it up
into the bathtub. There's a window in the bathroom. Fletch opens it.

FLETCHI'll be leaving now, Mrs. Stanwyk.

MRS. STANWYKI think you should call me Gail, now.

FLETCHGail. I hope this won't embarrass you in any way. I
thinkUnderhill's a yutz, you won't have any trouble with him.

MRS. STANWYKWhy did you do it?

Fletch shrugs, smiles.

MRS. STANWYKA four hundred dollar lunch tab!

FLETCHYeah.

MRS. STANWYKI'll cover it. You have any other surprises?

FLETCH(after a beat)Yeah. My name's not John Ultramalensky
andI wasn't at your wedding.

She stares at him.

MRS. STANWYKWho.

FLETCHIrwin Fletcher. I write a newspaper columnunder the
name Jane Doe.

A long beat.

MRS. STANWYKSo?

FLETCHSo, your husband hired me to kill him.That's the
truth.

MRS. STANWYKWhat are you talking about?

FLETCHThat's what I want to know.

161 EXT. CABANA

Mr. Underhill knocks again.

MR. UNDERHILLMrs. Stanwyk!

162 INT. BATHROOM

MRS. STANWYKIn a minute!

FLETCHHe told me he was dying of cancer.Not True. That ranch
you thought youwere paying for in Utah? Not true.

MRS. STANWYKHow do you know about that?

FLETCHHe's a bad guy, Mrs. Stanwyk. Gail.I think he's
involved in somethingvery big and very bad.

MRS. STANWYKWhat does all this mean?

FLETCHHave you ever heard the name Jim Swarthout?

MRS. STANWYKSwarthout. Yes. He's the man who sold us the ranch in

FLETCHWrong. He sold you $3,000 worth of scrub brush.

MRS. STANWYKBut I've seen the deed.

FLETCHYou saw a forgery.

He takes out his photographs.

FLETCHThat's the real deed.

162-A INSERT - PHOTO OF DEED

It's is so fuzzy, shaky, and poorly framed that there's no way we can
read the price on it.

FLETCH (O.S.)Now, if this were at all legible, you'd believe me.

162-B MASTER

Fletch shows her more of the photos.

FLETCHHere's this dog that tried to eat me.Here's my motel.
Here's the car I rented....

MRS. STANWYKStop it.(angry and concerned)Are you saying
my husband is defrauding me?

FLETCHI don't know. All I know is that he told me a lotof
things and so far not one of them has been true.

Mrs. Stanwyk stares at Fletch. She gets a little teary.

FLETCHI'm really sorry I have to tell you all this.

MR. UNDERHILL (O.S.)Mrs. Stanwyk?

MRS. STANWYK(really screams)Just wait, all right?!?(to
Fletch)I'm going to call my father. He'll know what

Fletch stops her.

FLETCHNo. You can't. Look, I know you don't know me from
Adam, but you've got to trust me.

MRS. STANWYKTrust you? I may seem a little goofy at times,
butI'm not a complete Bozo, you know.

FLETCHJust give me twenty-four hours. Please. Someonealmost
killed me today. People are not being nicelately, and I don't
want you getting hurt. I think you'reterrific. Are you a Laker
fan?

Gail is now teary, confused, and scared.

MRS. STANWYKNo...I've got to go to Mr. Underhill....

FLETCHI'll take you to a game.

MRS. STANWYKWhat are you talking about?

FLETCHI'm talking about how much I'd like to take you to a
Laker game.

MRS. STANWYKWait a second. What am I supposed to do for
twenty-four hours?

FLETCH(climbing out window)Act natural.

MRS. STANWYKI was afraid you'd say that.

FLETCHIf you need me, call the paper. Handme that extra
bottle okay?

163 EXT. CABANA

Gail opens the door where Mr. Underhill has been waiting.

MRS. STANWYKSorry. Here.(grabs the bill from his hand)
Thanks. Bye.

She closes the door in his face.

164 OMITTED

165 EXT. BOYD AVIATION - PARKING LOT

Alan Stanwyk crosses the parking lot and gets into his Jaguar. He
starts the engine, backs out of his reserved space, and pulls out of
the lot.

166 ANOTHER ANGLE - PARKING LOT

Fletch is reading a copy of Sports Illustrated. He puts it
down, starts his car, and pulls out of the lot.

167 SANTA MONICA BOULEVARD

Stanwyk's Jaguar tools down Santa Monica Boulevard. Fletch's car
follows, several discreet car lengths behind.

168 INT. JAGUAR

Stanwyk checks his watch, and makes a turn.

169 MASTER

Stanwyk has pulled into a service station. He gets out of his car and
opens the trunk.

170 FLETCH

He pulls into a fast-food joint on the west side of the street. He
opens the Sports Illustrated and peers over it.

171 STANWYK

He takes a gas can from the trunk, goes to the pump, fills it, and
pays the attendant in cash.

172 FLETCH

Curious.

173 STANWYK

He puts the gas can back in the trunk, gets into the car, and starts
off.

174 FLETCH

follows suit.

175 SANTA MONICA BOULEVARD

We are getting into the increasingly rundown section of Santa Monica.
The Jaguar turns off. Hold: Several beats later, Fletch turns off.

176 OVERPASS

A freeway overpass. Stanwyk stops his car.

177 FLETCH'S CAR

He pulls off behind a liquor store, in view of the overpass. Fletch
waits.

178 OVERPASS

A second car pulls up behind Stanwyk's. A cop steps out and says
something to Stanwyk. Stanwyk gets out of his car and walks over to
the unmarked police car, and gets in.

178-A FLETCH

takes out his binoculars.

178-B FLETCH'S POINT OF VIEW

Because he's looking through the reflection of sunlight on the back
window of the unmarked police car, Fletch's point of view is fuzzy,
but we can just make out the form of someone else in animated
conversation with Stanwyk.

178-C FLETCH

A moment of possible recognition. He focuses intently.

178-D FLETCH'S POINT OF VIEW - THE OTHER MAN IN THE CAR

with Stanwyk...is Police Chief Cummings.

179 FLETCH

FLETCHJesus.

He starts up his car and backs out.

DISSOLVE TO

180 EXT. FLETCH'S APARTMENT HOUSE

Fletch pulls up to his house and stops the car.

181 INT. CAR

Fletch looks around.

182 EXT. HOUSE

Fletch doesn't leave the car.

183 INT. CAR

Fletch sits put, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. He just
has a feeling. He starts the car up, and pulls out.

184 EXT. HOUSE

Two cop cars, concealed in driveways, scream out, heading after
Fletch's car.

185 INT. FLETCH'S CAR

Fletch sees them in the rearview and stomps on the gas.

FLETCHShould've known. Goddamn it.

186 EXT. STREETS

Fletch floors it.

FLETCHGreat. First I'll get a speeding ticket,then they'll
shoot me. Terrific.

Fletch cuts through the parking lot of a drug store/dry cleaning
complex. The cop cars follow suit. Shopping wagons are tossed about.
He turns a corner and realizes he has a few seconds before they're on
top of him again. He screeches up next to a teenager in a sports car.

FLETCHAll right, fella, smog check. Move over.

Before the guy can say "who?", Fletch is in the guy's driver
seat and tears out, hell bent for leather.

187 ENTRANCE TO FREEWAY

Fletch peels off onto the Santa Monica Freeway.

188 FREEWAY

Fletch hits about ninety. So do the cops. Now a motorcycle cop joins
the chase.

189 OMITTED

189-A INT. SPORTS CAR

TEENAGERHoly sh*t!

FLETCHSorry, youngster, but we have to see what kind of
fluorocarbons this thing puts out at ninety-five.

TEENAGERHoly sh*t!

FLETCHDon't worry about the speed limit. That'swhat the
police escort's for.

190 EXT. FREEWAY

Indeed, behind them is a gaggle of speeding cop cars and motorcycles.

TEENAGER (O.S.)Holy sh*t!

Fletch cuts across two lanes of traffic and gets off the freeway. He
loses the motorcycle cop who goes past the exit. The squad cars are
thrown behind a bit, but still chase.

191 INT. SQUAD CAR

COP #1Sh*t! He'll kill us if we lose him.

191-A INT. SPORTS CAR

The teenager is sweating bullets.

TEENAGEROkay, okay, just stop, will you. I admitit. I stole
it. I was just taking it fora little joy ride, that's all....

FLETCHHoly sh*t.

191-B EXT. CAR

Fletch squeals around a corner, runs a light, and booms into the
parking lot of a large Holiday Inn. He's a few seconds ahead of the
cops.

FLETCHOkay, kid. Just stand here with your handson the car
and wait for the cops. I gotta pee.Here, take my hat.

Fletch pops his hat on the kid's head, and runs off.

192 EXT. HOLIDAY INN

Fletch runs into the kitchen entrance of the Holiday Inn.

193 INT. HOLIDAY INN KITCHEN

Fletch picks up a case of vegetables and walks through as if he
belonged there.

Moments later, two cops enter.

194 THE COPS

can't see him because of the crate.

195 INT. HOLIDAY INN - BANQUET ROOM

A testimonial dinner is in progress. A sign on the wall reads:

TRB SYSTEMS SALUTESFRED DORFMAN40 YEARS OF SERVICE

Thirty tables of conservatively dressed, older men and women are
enjoying lunch. Fletch enters from the kitchen followed by several
waiters and busboys. He looks over his shoulder.

196 FLETCH'S POINT OF VIEW - KITCHEN

Two cops are in hot pursuit.

197 FLETCH

moves into the middle of the tables as a florid fat Speaker at the
dais drones on.

SPEAKER...and he can truly be called the Fatherof Internal
Bushings.

A round of applause which Fletch joins heartily, as he quickly sits in
the audience at an empty seat at a table in the center.

FLETCH(to his table)Hello. I'm with the hotel catering. Are
youenjoying your meal? Carrots overcooked?

Fletch looks to the kitchen entrance and sees two cops scanning the
crowd. One signals to the opposite door.

198 DOOR

Four more cops converge, looking for Fletch. Distant sirens indicate
even more.

199 MASTER

SPEAKERAnd now a man who needs no further introduction....

The police spot Fletch and start moving forward. Fletch stands up. A
spotlight swings onto him.

FLETCHThank you, Tony, thank you. As a lifelongfriend
of....(looks at banner)...Fred Dorfman, I'm thrilled to be
here.

200 DIAS

Fred Dorfman turns to the people on either side of him and whispers,
obviously wondering who the hell this guy is.

201 FLETCH

The cops are hesitant to move in. They wait for Fletch to finish and
get out of the light.

FLETCHMany of you are probably not aware of Freddie's
lifelong commitment to honoring a profession thatfrequently goes
unsung -- the police. Many times Fredused to forsake a night with
his wife and children togo out an sell tickets for the
Policemen's Benevolent Association.

202 POLICE

look at each other, sensing a trick, and start to move in.

203 FLETCH

going for broke.

FLETCHOur men in blue are with us today, and I think we
should all extend a shake of the hand, a slap on the back and a
'howdy' to them.

204 POLICE

moving faster, but impeded by the crowd which rises and follows
Fletch's suggestion.

205 FLETCH

out of the crowd, still encouraging the crowd.

FLETCHWhen was the last time you hugged a cop?Do it for my
good friend Tommy Lasorda.Doesn't it feel good? Don't you wish
you'ddone it long ago?

one cop raises his gun towards Fletch, but the crowd is too close, too
busy. Fletch shakes his hand and slugs him so hard on the back that he
falls over into the crowd.

FLETCHLet them know how we feel, with a song. Forevery cop
on every beat in every city of thisgreat nation.
(singing)'For he's a jolly good fellow....'(calls out)
Everybody!(sings)'For he's a jolly good fellow....'

The crowd sings along the rest of the verse. Fletch looks back to the
kitchen entrance at the police who are swallowed in a sea of
congratulations and singing. Fletch takes his time strolling out of
the kitchen.

206 INT. LAX - DAY

Fletch is at the Pan Am counter, talking with a reservation Clerk.

CLERKYes sir, you are confirmed on Flight 306 to Riotomorrow
evening at 11 PM. First Class.

FLETCHYou're kidding.

CLERKWould you like me to change anything?

FLETCH(to himself)So he's going. Uh...are there any
other ticketscharged to the same account?

CLERKWe'd have no way of knowing that, sir.

FLETCHHmm. It's just that there are some other peoplefrom my
office going on this trip and...is thereanyone in the seat next
to me?

The clerk checks the computer.

CLERKYes, there is. Cavanaugh.

Fletch shakes his head. He's never heard of him.

FLETCHNever heard of him. Thanks anyway.

CLERKYou mean her.

FLETCHWhat?

CLERKSally Ann Cavanaugh. Oh wait, she couldn't workin your
office, she's not from around here.

FLETCHOh, thanks.

Fletch walks off and we follow him.

CLERKShe's from Utah.

207 EXT. PROVO AIRPORT - DAY

as Fletch emerges from the Rent-A-Car office and drives off.

208 EXT. PROVO STREET - DAY

A lower-middle-class area, one that seems to be sliding fast -- the
plans are scraggly, the houses need paint.

Fletch's rental pulls up over the curb onto the sidewalk. Fletch gets
out, checks a piece of paper, and goes up the steps to a dark-shingled
two-story house.

209 TOP OF STEPS

Fletch looks at the name over the doorbell.

210 CARD

written in smeared ink: "CAVANAUGH".

211 FLETCH

rings the doorbell. It sounds like a fire alarm in the quiet. Nobody
answers. Fletch tries the door. It opens. Fletch hums the old
"Dragnet" theme.

212 INT. HOUSE

still humming the theme.

FLETCH'Bom-ba-bom-bom...bommmm.'

Fletch enters.

213 FLETCH's POINT OF VIEW - LIVING ROOM

The shelves are bare. Furniture is in place.

214 MASTER

Fletch enters the kitchen, and opens the refrigerator. Inside is a can
of coffee, and some vegetables. Fletch leaves the kitchen and heads
for the bedroom. We follow him as he enters the bedroom.

215 INT. BEDROOM

Fletch opens the closet. It's bare. He pulls open the drawers.
Nothing. Fletch gets down and looks under the bed.

VOICEWho the hell are you?

In his surprise, Fletch bangs his head as he starts up.

216 REVERSE

At the door stands a gruff-looking Man in a red and black hunter's
jacket, overalls, and a hat with earflaps. He holds a rifle.

MANGet up.

217 MASTER

Fletch gets up.

FLETCHThe door was unlocked.

MANLock's busted.

FLETCHNo wonder.

MANI work for the landlord. He toldme to watch out for the
place.

FLETCHI commend him on his choice.

MANWhat?

FLETCHI commend him on his choice

The Man stares at him, holding the gun. He's not the brightest guy in
the world, and Fletch has already caught on to that.

FLETCHI was supposed to meet Mrs. Cavanaugh.

MANWho are you?

FLETCHDon Corleone. I'm a cousin of Mrs. Cavanaugh's.

The Man just stares at Fletch. Fletch starts to move ever so slightly,
testing his freedom of movement.

FLETCHWhere is she?

MANMoved out.

FLETCHShe moved out?

The Man nods and cocks the weapon. Fletch stops his tentative
movements and just looks around the room

FLETCHI spoke to her last week. She didn't say anything.

MANShe moved out.

FLETCHSo you're saying she moved out.

MANThis morning.

FLETCHThis morning? Christ. We had so much to talk about.Moe
Green is out of the Tropicana, and my sons, Michaeland Fredo, are
taking over.

The Man continues to gaze unblinkingly at Fletch, holding the rifle.

MANWhat did you want under the bed?

FLETCHMattress police. There are no tags on the mattress.I'm
going to have to take you downtown. Please giveme your weapon.

MANI'm calling the cops. This is for the cops.

FLETCHI'm her cousin.

MANTell the cops.

FLETCHGo ahead. Call them. Better tieyour shoelaces first.

The man looks down at his shoelaces. Fletch kicks the gun out of his
hand and runs through the house.

218 EXT. HOUSE

Fletch runs out of the house and jumps into his car.

219 INT. CAR

Fletch pulls out. The rear window is suddenly blown away.

FLETCHI'm getting real tired of all this hostility.


220 EXT. PROVO PIG FARM

Fletch pulls up, gets out of the car and addresses the couple sitting
on the porch of the house.

FLETCHEvening.(nods toward car)They oughta recall these
things. One bump,the whole window goes.

221 PORCH

Sitting on the porch is a couple in their late sixties, whom we are
about to learn are Alan Stanwyk's parents -- Marvin and Velma.

FLETCH(approaching the steps)Are you Mr. Marvin Stanwyk?

Marvin nods

FLETCHI'm Harry S. Truman from Casewell Insurance Underwriters.

MARVIN(smiles)Harry S. Truman?

FLETCHMy parents were great fans of the former President.

MARVINIsn't that nice. Good man. Showed the Japs a thing or two.

FLETCHSure did. Dropped the big one on them.

MARVINDropped two big ones. Real fighter.You're in the
insurance line, Harry?

FLETCHRight.

MARVINWell, I'm fully covered.

FLETCHI don't doubt it, Mr. Stanwyk. Actually, my company is
thesub-insurer of the subsidiary carriers of a policy held by
Alan Stanwyk, who I believe is your son.

MARVINYes. Where you from, Harry?

FLETCHCalifornia. San Berdoo. Utah's part of my route.Can I
ask you a few questions?

MARVINCome on in.

222 INT. MARVIN AND VELMA'S LIVING ROOM

Fletch and the Stanwyks face each other on couches that flank the
fireplace. Fletch has a clipboard on which he will take notes.

FLETCHFirst, a couple of routine things:are you and you wife
currently alive?

Marvin just stares at him.

FLETCHRegulations, Mr. Stanwyk. And you and your wife, named....

MARVINVelma.

Velma smiles.

FLETCHVelma. You and Velma are the parents of Alan Stanwyk,
Beverly Hills, California, executive vice presidentof Boyd
Aviation?

MARVINCheck.

FLETCHOkay.(makes notation)Now, the last time you saw
your son was when?

MARVINOh, about ten days ago.

Fletch is taken aback.

FLETCHTen days ago?

MARVINThat's right. Alan comes by every three weeks or so.

This is all news to Fletch, but he covers his surprise.

FLETCHIsn't that nice. Since when?

MARVINSince he moved to L.A.

Fletch is very interested in all this.

FLETCHForgive me now for seeming personal, but we understand
that there is a lady friend he sees here in Provo.

MARVINWhat the hell does this have to do with insurance?

FLETCHTrust me, sir. It's a comprehensive policy.

MARVINWell, you can forget about that lady friend business,
Alan's the most loyal husband a girl could have. Hedotes on that
bride of his.

VELMACute young thing, too.

FLETCHI'm sorry?

VELMAHis bride. Cute as a button.

FLETCHYou've met her?

MARVINWell, of course we have. He brings her with him.

Fletch is getting very puzzled and very concerned about all this.

FLETCHHas Alan ever mentioned the name Sally Ann Cavanaugh?

Marvin and Velma exchange the oddest of glances between them.

FLETCHHas he?

MARVINBoy, what the hell's the matter with you?

FLETCHThen he has.

MARVINCourse he has. That's his wife.

You could knock Fletch over with a straw. Again, he quickly recovers.

FLETCHOf course, his wife's name is Sally Ann Cavanaugh?

VELMACute thing.

FLETCH(starting to sweat a little)Do you happen to have a
picture of Alan and his wife?

VELMAOh, we've got lots of pictures. Let me show you some.

Velma rummages through a family album on a side table as Fletch tried
to sort all this out in his mind. She brings a photo over to him. He
looks at it.

223 INSERT - PHOTO

It's a wedding photo of Alan and a woman we have not seen. She is
brunette and quite unlike Gail. Alan wears a similar sh*t-eating grin,
and makes a similar thumbs-up gesture to the wedding photo with Gail
that Fletch saw in Boyd's office.

224 FLETCH

He sighs.

FLETCHAnd they're still married...Alan and Sally Ann.

MARVINOf course they are.

VELMAShe's cute as a button.

FLETCHHow long have they been married?

MARVINLets see, it was before he moved to L.A...four years April.

FLETCHMrs. Stanwyk, may I borrow this picture. I promise to
send it back to you. It's routine, really. The actuarial people
need to

VELMAOh, that's all right, I've got lots more. Want to see the
reception?

FLETCH(rising)No, thank you.

VELMAHow about Marvin's sixty-fifth birthday party?

Exit Fletch.

225 INT. PROVO MOTEL ROOM

Fletch is on the phone.

FLETCHFrank told you that?

226 INT. NEWSROOM - MORGUE

Larry is on the phone.

LARRYI overheard it. He thinks you're completely out of
control, he said he was gonna can you as soon as hegot the story.
If I were you, I'd just chuck it, Fletch.Screw him. Let him eat
three full pages on Sunday.

227 MOTEL ROOM

FLETCHYou kidding? I got an unbelievable story here, Lar.
Un-believable. Jesus. It's the cops, I know it. The Chief!
And they're all over Frank.

228 MORGUE

LARRYI just thought...sure.(takes out pad and starts
writing)Sally Ann Cavanaugh.

229 MOTEL ROOM

FLETCHCheck every hotel in L.A. Start with the onesnear the
airport. Yeah. He's about to leave thecountry with her. Thanks,
Lar.

230 INT. MOTEL BATHROOM - LATER

Fletch is in the shower, lipsynching to the radio. Elvis is singing,
"All Shook Up."

FLETCH'welluh bless my soul whatsuh wrong with me?I'ma
itchin' like a man Inuh fuzzy tree....'

The phone rings. Fletch gets out, throws on a towel and picks up a
phone mounted over the crapper.

FLETCHYeah...No kidding. The Marriott at LAX.
Sonofabitch...Checked in this morning. Great. Thanks a million.
And call Gail Stanwyk atthe Racquet Club. Tell her I have to meet
hertonight. Eight o'clock at the club. Urgent and
confidential. Thanks.

231 INT. PLANE - NIGHT

Fletch is sitting in a semi-deserted flight on his way back home. He
is hunched over an airline meal, eating with his right hand and
turning in his mini recorder with his left.

FLETCHQuestion:

But as he pushed the button down, the tape pops out. He fumbles it
back in, and then pushes another button.

FLETCHQuestion....

TAPE RECORDER(Fletch's voice playing back)Day three on the
beach. Fat Sam still hasn't moved, and

FLETCH(stopping the machine)What's wrong with my life?

He starts it right this time.

FLETCHQuestion: Why does a man marry a millionaire'sdaughter
in Beverly Hills if he is already marriedto a girl who lives in a
crappy one bedroom apartmentin Utah? Answer: Three million
dollars. Big Question:What's with Stanwyk and Cummings? I don't
know. Bigger Question: Why does Stanwyk want me to kill him?

He takes a spoonful of airline food, chewing meditatively.

FLETCH(continuing)Biggest Question: Why do I eat this
sh*t?(to passing stewardess)Miss, I believe this has already
been eaten.

232 EXT. MRS. STANWYK'S CABANA - NIGHT

Fletch knocks on the door, and a tensely white-faced Mrs. Stanwyk
quickly lets him in and shuts the door behind him.

MRS. STANWYKI want you to know that dramatic phonecalls
about secret meetings scare thesh*t out of me.

He can sense she is unusually upset.

FLETCHWhat's wrong, Gail?

MRS. STANWYKI decided I was going to tell myhusband about
you today.

FLETCHNo.

MRS. STANWYKBut first I called the Hall of Records in Provo.
They checked on the deed. You're telling the truth.A minute later
Alan came in the room and asked mewhy I was shaking.

Fletch waits anxiously to hear if she told Alan about him.

MRS. STANWYKSo I told him...I told him I wasjust cold or
something.

Fletch sighs with relief.

MRS. STANWYKI've never lied to him before.(chokes back a
sob)It's the first time he's ever lied tome. He was just as
convincing as whenhe says 'I love you.'

FLETCHI think you better sit down.

MRS. STANWYKOh God, I hate things that start like that....

FLETCHGail, please.

She sits in a chair. he hands her the wedding photo.

FLETCHI got this from Alan's parents. Bythe way, they see
him all the time.

First she looks at Fletch with puzzlement. Then, she looks at the
photo and can't seem to decide what to think of it. But she knows it's
bad.

MRS. STANWYKWhat is this....

FLETCHI checked. There was no divorce.

MRS. STANWYKAre you telling me my husband is a bigamist???

FLETCHI'm telling you he's not your husband at all.

She is stunned.

FLETCHAnd they're leaving the country tomorrow night.

MRS. STANWYK(rocked)Bastard.

FLETCHI don't have all the pieces yet, butI'm close. I'll
know tomorrow.

MRS. STANWYKI'm calling the police. Right now.

FLETCHYou cant do that.

MRS. STANWYKDon't tell me I can't

FLETCHThey're trying to kill me!

She is taken aback by that, but there is a determination in her eyes.

MRS. STANWYKYour twenty-four hours are up, Fletch.

She starts for the phone, but he stops her.

FLETCHYou're going to have to trust me, Gail.You have
to. Now listen to me: he's expectingyou to go to your meeting
tomorrow night. Do it.Stay out of the house.

There is a long beat.

MRS. STANWYKI'm terrified.

FLETCHCome here.

He puts his arms around her and holds her tight against him. After a
few seconds she raises her head and turns the hug into a kiss. Then
the kiss turns passionate.

DISSOLVE TO

233 FRISBEE

sails across the surf.



234 EXT. BEACH - DAY - WIDER

The usual scene-- a mix of teeny-boppers, junkies and surfers. Into
the f.g. step a couple of "surfers." They're wearing wet
suits and carrying surfboards, but they're obviously cops. They sit
down. Across the beach, a Sufi, dressed in a turban and flowing
garments, crosses the sand.

SURFER COPA Sufi junkie.

The cops laugh derisively and turn their attention else-where.

235 CLOSER ON SUFI

It's Fletch. he's got a beard pasted on, and nervously scans the
beach.

236 FLETCH'S POINT OF VIEW - GUMMY

is seated on a towel.

237 MASTER

Fletch sits near, but not next to, Gummy.

FLETCHGum?

Gummy looks around.

FLETCHI'm the Sufi.

GUMMYFletch?

FLETCHDon't call me Fletch. Don't look at me.Lie back down.
We'll talk.

GUMMYWhat?

FLETCHCops are here. I can smell them.They're after me. Lie
down, Gum.

Gummy lies back down.

GUMMYWhy are they after you?

FLETCHBecause I'm a newspaper reporter and I'm nailingChief
Cummings as the source for drugs on thebeach. You're in big
trouble, Gummy.

Gummy sits up.

FLETCHSit back down.

Gummy lies down again.

FLETCHFat Sam is turning state's evidence.

GUMMYWhat's that?

FLETCHHe wrote me a nice deposition. He says hejust received
the drugs. You did the selling.

GUMMYI didn't sell nothing! I didn't sell nothing!I just
carried the drugs from the Chief to Sam.

FLETCHSure you did.

GUMMYFletch, I never sold nothing.

FLETCHTwenty years.

Fletch gets up and adjusts his flowing robes.

FLETCHCan't do a thing with this robe. Onemore question,
Gum...don't look at me.

Gummy lies back down.

FLETCHWhere does the Chief get the drugs?

GUMMYI dunno. Somewhere in South America, I forget.

FLETCHRio de Janeiro, maybe?

GUMMYMaybe, Fletch. Is that Brazil?

FLETCHThat's Brazil.

GUMMYYeah. Maybe.

FLETCHWait here for me, Gummy.

Gummy looks questioningly at him.

FLETCHIt's the only way you'll be safe. Believe me.

Fletch crosses the sand, heads for "Fat Sam's".

238 "FAT SAM'S"

Sam is reading the National Review. He looks up, sees Fletch
approaching, and grins.

FAT SAMJesus.

FLETCHYou don't know me.

FAT SAM(smiling)My pleasure.

FLETCHI'm serious, Sam.

FAT SAMWhat, the heat here?

FLETCHAffirmative.

FAT SAMThe two surfer boys?

FLETCHAffirmative.

FAT SAMThought so. What for?

FLETCHFor me. I'm a reporter, Sam. I'm breaking thedrug
story and I got the chief red-handed. Gummygame me a deposition.

FAT SAM(smiles)You gonna nail the chief?

FLETCHI'm gonna nail the chief. And you can help or

FAT SAMOh, I'll help, Fletch. I'm a slave to that
sonofabitch. He busted me, third offense, gave mea choice: Work
for him or do fifteen long. All I getout of this is free snort.

FLETCHYou don't have a piece of the action?

FAT SAMNoooo. Free snort. That's it.

FLETCH(hands him a card)Wait five minutes, and go to my
office.You'll get federal protection after that.

FAT SAMGonna need it. That boy is dangerous. Fletch?

FLETCHWhat?

FAT SAMYou find the source?

FLETCHGum thought Brazil.

FAT SAMRio. Know how he gets it in the country?Some big shot
airline executive flies it in oncompany jets. Very impressive
operation, Fletch.Very impressive.

239and OMITTED240

241 INT. NEWSPAPER - CITY ROOM

Fletch parades through the city room, still in his Sufi getup. He
takes off the beard and heads for Frank Walker's office. Fat Sam and
Gummy, looking like fish out of water, follow him.

242 WALKER'S OFFICE

Fletch marches in with Sam and Gummy. Walker gawks at him.

WALKERFletch....

Fletch takes off the turban.

FLETCHI'm quitting, Frank. As of midnight tonight.

WALKERWhat?(stares at Fat Sam and Gummy)Who the hell
are they?

FLETCHThis is Fat Sam, and this is Gummy.(hands two sheets
of paper to Walker)

WALKERWhat....

FLETCHTheir statements, naming Chief Cummings as the numero
uno drug pusher from here to Oxnard. I want them to havefederal
protection under the paper's sponsorship.

Walker just stares at the sheets.

WALKERJesus H. Christ.(smiles)Fletch, this is the
greatest.

FAT SAMHe's some reporter, this guy.

FLETCHI'm out, Frank. You lost faith in me.

WALKERFletch, I got nervous. Please....

FLETCHForget it.

Fletch takes off his robe and drops it to the floor. Beneath the robes
he's wearing cutoffs and a Bob McAdoo t-shirt.

FLETCHI'm going to write the story. Just hold the lastcouple
of paragraphs till ten o'clock tonight.

Fletch leaves the office.

FLETCH(to Fat Sam and Gummy)Make yourselves comfortable,
guys, but don't leave the office.

243 CORRIDOR

Fletch heads for his office. Walker follows.

WALKERFletch!

Fletch doesn't answer.

244 FLETCH'S OFFICE

Fletch enters the office and kicks his door closed. Walker opens it.

WALKERFletch, you want an apology?

FLETCHYou were going to can me, right?

WALKER(fumbles)Not really.

FLETCHNot really?

WALKERI was upset.

FLETCHI'm sick of this place. I'm going to tryout for the
Lakers. They need a power forward.

WALKERFletch.

Fletch sits down and turns on his word processor, ignoring Walker.

245 EXT. STANWYK HOUSE - NIGHT

Fletch parks his Olds halfway up on the sidewalk, and gets out. He
climbs over the gates of the Stanwyk home, and drops down inside. He
lands on the grass, trots around the shrubbery, heads toward the
garage, and checks his watch.

246 WATCH

It's five minutes before eight.

247 INT. STANWYK'S GARAGE

The jaguar is parked just where it is supposed to be, and the key is
in the ignition. Fletch thinks for a moment and looks around. He sees
a pile of torn rags on the ground. He removes the key from the
ignition and opens the trunk.

248 INT. TRUNK.

Six large gasoline cans and more rags.

249 FLETCH

Another piece of the puzzle fits in place.

250 EXT. HOUSE

Fletch reaches the rear of the house. He peers inside.

251 FLETCH'S POINT OF VIEW - STANWYK

is in the library, sitting patiently at his desk.

252 FLETCH

approaches the French doors and enters.

253and OMITTED254

255 INT. LIBRARY

Alan rises from his desk to greet him. His hair is combed like
Fletch's. We can see that beneath his sports jacket he is wearing a
Magic Johnson t-shirt and jeans.

MR. STANWYKGood evening.

FLETCHI like your outfit. You got the fiftygrand and the
plane ticket?

MR. STANWYKOf course.

Stanwyk nods toward a small briefcase in the corner. Fletch eyes it
quickly, and just as quickly looks back at Stanwyk who just stands
there by his desk.

MR. STANWYKWhy don't you check it out for yourself, Mr. Nugent?

FLETCH(smiles)Because I trust you, Alan. By the way,the
name's Fletcher. I.M. Fletcher. I writea newspaper column under
the name Jane Doe.

MR. STANWYKWhat?

Fletch holds out an envelope.

FLETCHRead this, please.

MR. STANWYKWait a second

FLETCHCut the crap and read it.

Stanwyk unfolds the paper.

FLETCH(continuing)Unless my people hear differently,
thisletter goes out at midnight.

256 INSERT LETTER

We see that it is addressed to:

JOHN BOYDCHAIRMAN OF THE BOARDBOYD AVIATION

257 STANWYK

MR. STANYK(reading)'Dear Sir: Alan Stanwyk murdered me
tonight. The charred remains foundby the police in the Jaguar
aremine, not his. Mr. Stanwyk, usingmy name and passport,
boarded Pan AmFlight 306 for Rio, where he intendsto
establish residence with '

He stares at Fletch.

258 FLETCH

He is lifting Stanwyk's two attachщ cases.

FLETCHPretty hefty. Keep reading.

259 STANWYK

MR. STANWYK(reading)'...with his legal wife, the former
Sally Ann Cavanaugh.'

Stanwyk stops. He's stunned, and not about to read anymore of this.

GAIL'S VOICE (O.S.)Keep reading, Alan.

Stanwyk spins to the doorway.

259-A GAIL STANWYK

standing in the doorway.

MRS. STANWYKDon't worry, I can take it.

260 MASTER

FLETCHYou shouldn't be here.

MRS. STANWYKI want to hear this.

Fletch takes the letter from Alan.

FLETCHHe doesn't read my stuff well.(reads)'Sally Ann
and Alan were married four years agoand never divorced, making
Stanwyk a bigamist even in Utah. Stanwyk is also traveling with
three million dollars in cash, the result ofGail Stanwyk's
conversion of Boyd Aviation stock.Mrs. Stanwyk believed the money
was to be used topurchase property in Utah, but it wasn't; a
factthat can be confirmed by realtor James Swarthoutof
Provo.'(aside)That was stupid, Alan.

MR. STANWYKI'd have been long gone.

FLETCHAhem.(continues reading)'Sally Ann can confirm
all this whenthe police pick her up at the Airport Marriott.'

Mr. Stanwyk blanches. Fletch continues.

FLETCH'By the way, Alan is a very big drug smuggler,but you
can read all about that in tomorrow's paper.Sincerely yours, I.M.
Fletcher. P.S. Have a nice day.'

Alan mulls over all this for a few seconds, then smiles wistfully.

MR. STANWYKBravo, Mr. Fletcher.

FLETCHThe thing that really tipped it off for mewas
something your wife said to me while wewere in bed together.

Stanwyk shoots a surprised look at Gail. She returns it with an
innocent shrug.

MR. STANWYK(to Fletch)And what was that?

FLETCHHow similar in build you and I are.then I figured it.
You bump me off,throw me in the car, and burn me up.

MRS. STANWYKMy God, Alan, you really are and a**hole, aren't you?

Now it is Alan's turn to shrug innocently.

MR. STANWYKSorry, darling.

MRS. STANWYKYou sonofabitch.

MR. STANWYKYes, I suppose I am. But I'm not a stupid
sonofabitch.

Mr. Stanwyk reaches into his desk and pulls out his gun, and levels it
at Fletch.

MR. STANWYKI was already prepared to commit one murder. What
makes you think I won't commit two?

FLETCHWhoops.

MRS. STANWYK(her bravado deflated)'Whoops?' What do you mean
'whoops?'Don't say 'whoops.'

MR. STANWYKI mean, by the time your story gets published,
I'llbe on the beach. I understand extradition from Rio is
very complicated. I'll bet for two murders it's even more so.

FLETCHThat is a lighter, isn't it?

Just then, the French doors swing open, and Chief Cummings enters.

CUMMINGSGreetings, everyone.

FLETCH(dryly)Thank God, the police.

MR. STANWYKWhat the hell are you doing here?

CUMMINGSPut the gun down, Alan. I'll take care of them.

Stanwyk lowers the gun.

MRS. STANWYK(to Fletch)I thought you had this all
figuredout. Good going 'Irwin.'

FLETCHDon't ever call me 'Irwin,' okay?

MRS. STANWYK(to Cummings)I've got it all under control,
Jerry. You can go now.

CUMMINGS(laughs)Under control? You idiot. Youdidn't
know who he was?

During the following dialogues, Fletch starts nudging the fireplace's
gas lighter jet key with his foot.

CUMMINGSFat Sam left the beach today. So did Gummy.It began
to occur to me that some things arebeginning to happen that maybe
I should be aware of.

MR. STANWYKI said I'll take care of it. Now, a man of your
positionshouldn't be a part of what's about to go down. So go
home and I'll call you tomorrow.

CUMMINGSWhat, 'long distance?' I couldn't help but hearyou
say something about Rio, Alan. You're not leaving with the eight
hundred thousand dollarsI staked you for the next load, are you?

FLETCHWhoa. Well, you two obviously have a lot to talkover,
so we'll go catch the last ten minutes of Dynasty.

Fletch and Gail actually start to leave, but Cummings draws his gun
and fires over their heads. They dive for the floor, landing on the
side of the fireplace. Fletch palms a Zippo lighter from his pocket.

MR. STANWYKJerry, you're simply going to have to trust me.
I've got a foolproof way to get rid of this guyand now you're
jeopardizing everything.

CUMMINGSYour 'foolproof' way is going to land my a** onthe
front page while you're basking in Rio.

FLETCH...with your money.

Cummings turns his head momentarily to consider what Fletch has said,
and Stanwyk takes advantage of the distraction to go for his gun. But
he is too slow. Cummings shoots once, striking Stanwyk in the chest,
killing him instantly.

Gail screams in horror. Cummings turns to Fletch.

CUMMINGSThis one's going to be even more fun.

FLETCH(striking the Zippo)Go ahead. Make my evening.

Fletch hurls the lighter into the fireplace, causing a great whoosh of
flames. Cummings throws his hands up in front of his face and Fletch
leaps at him, wrestling him to the ground. Cummings is the stronger of
the two, and just as he starts to gain dominance over Fletch, Gail
Stanwyk staggers to her feet, picks up her husband's tennis racket in
it's wooden brace, and slams it against Cummings' head with all her
might.

The Chief is knocked out.

Fletch lies there, panting, trying to catch his breath. He looks up at
Gail, still holding the racket, and staring at Alan's body. Fletch
hustles her out of the room.

260-A HALLWAY

FLETCHI'm calling the police. Then I'mleaving. You wait here
for them.

GAILWhere are you going?

FLETCHAway. I think it might take you a while to get your
life back together. You don't need me around.(indicates the
library)Don't go back in there.

He starts to leave. She calls after him.

GAIL(still holding the racket)I really creamed the
sonofabitch, didn't I?

FLETCH(smiles)You sure did.

Fletch exits.

DISSOLVE TO

261 EXT. RIO DE JANEIRO - DAY

With Sugarloaf Mountain in the b.g., Fletch lies in a lounge chair,
sipping an exotic drink, watching the cavorting lovelies and playing
his battered Casio. This is obviously at some very expensive beach
club or hotel, as witnessed by the uniformed servant who brings a
telephone.

WAITER(Brazilian accent)Your call is come through.

FLETCHFar out.(to the phone)Larry? It's Fletch.
(pause, looks around)Well, it's not 'Fat Sam's', but...any port
in a storm.(pause)Oh, tell Frank I need a couple of
months.The fifty grand's lasting longer than I thought.

He pauses again to listen to Larry, but sees something O.S. that takes
over his attention. he doesn't wait for Larry to finish what she's
saying.

FLETCHI gotta go, Lar.

He hangs up and stands. We see that Gail has just walked up to him.
The way they look at each other indicates they have not seen each
other for awhile, and her arrival is a surprise to Fletch.

GAILJohn Ultramalensky, right?

FLETCHRight.

GAILGod, I haven't seen you since the wedding.

FLETCHGee, I must have been sh*t-faced at your wedding, I don't

GAILNot mine, stupid. Yours.

FLETCH(big smile)What are you doing here?

They start walking down the beach. We stay right with them.

GAILI couldn't sit home and play the mournful widow anymore,
and the police didn't need me,so I tried watching a Lakers game
on TV, but the announcer talked to fast and Icouldn't
understand a lot of what was happening, so I figured if I
camedown here maybe you could explain therules to me, and
besides, I missed you.

FLETCHNo problem.

He puts his arm around her, as we watch them leave us behind and walk
off down the beach.

FLETCHBasketball, of course, was invented in France,and is
played with a large ball, two tongue depressors and a fish....

Fletch ad-libs just like Chevy Chase would as they walk further away
down the beach until we....

FADE OUT

THE END


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