Why don't people believe in having a education or having a child in wedlock?

Question

I was sitting on the bus with my boyfriend and we where talking about marriage and weddings. I was telling him that I would get married a few years after college and graduate school and I would only have children in my marriage. And this girl who was sitting beside me said," That's stupid, why would you get married and then have kids? Why don't you just get pregant and tell the governmnet that you don't know where the father of you're baby is and get on welfare? Why would you get married? Men come and why the hell would you go to college?You sound like one of those white girls. Why are you so into books and learning?" I was so mad at this and so was my sweetie. He

Answer 1

How sad! I believe in education and marriage. Stick to your guns and don't let anyone ever convince you to change your mind.

Answer 2

They do believe in it, for others. Some don't believe that it applies to them, for different reason's. Most often it is low self esteem, some times they leave school for valid reason's. Illness or accident, funding, as well as others. Pregnancy some believe that it won't happen to them, some hope it won't happen and others want it to happen.
A welfare system that was meant to lift young people up from there mistakes, help them with responsibilities. Has become a way of life for some, instead of lifting them up, it is holding them back. We have far to many young men dependent on alcohol and drugs, it moves there focus from family and job's to the quick fix, that makes them feel good for a few hours. Little do they know that they can get the same feeling from bring home a pay check, holding there children up and showing them the food in the cupboard, the milk in the frig. The feeling of a hard week done and holding the wife late at night, and letting her know how much you appreciate her help and sacrifices. Too many of our young women feel that they would never find this kind of man, all they see is the young men that are in trouble day after day. Because those that can move on and out do, and leave them behind.
I have no politically correct solution, sorry

Answer 3

It's called lack of personal responsibility. Why take care of yourself when the government or someone else will take care of you? It's much easier to sit on your butt doing nothing then actually be responsible for yourself. It is sickening.

I know a woman who has three kids from two different fathers. She receives $1000 per month in child support, $900 per month in food stamps plus $400 per month cash assistance. This is in a state that has one of the highest minimum wages and one of the lower costs of living. As long as she doesn't hold a job, she can keep getting all this free money and free health care. This woman has lived off the system for 17 years now.

I would so support a plan to put limits on the amount of welfare people can collect.

Another woman I know has 4 kids, two different fathers and she even got a habitat for humanities house built for her. She has recently sold the habitat house and farmed out her kids to various grandparents and still collects the welfare payments. It's insane.

Today kids aren't learning how to be responsible. When I was a teenager, I had a job and earned my own money to pay for clothes and to prepare for college. The kids I know refuse to work during the summers and sit around complaining incessantly about being bored. It makes no sense to me.

Sorry for the rant, but this is an issue that really bothers me.

Answer 4

Unfortunately there are a lot of people out there who think like that--the part where you have children so the govt. will take care of them financially. I have a few friends who had children out of wedlock, yet they support their children just fine thank you. It isn't about having or not having children in wedlock, it is about taking responsibility for your actions. The sister of a friend of mine who has 2 kids out of wedlock, went through college to be a lawyer, got a nice apartment--all paid for by welfare. She is now writing a book on how to manipulate the system to get what you want. She fully admits she had her second child so she could stay on welfare. That is wrong in my opinion. I think there are plenty of people who value education and take care of their children--whether or not they are married. Fortunately, the person you met on the bus is an exception, not the rule. Believe it or not, but there are honest, hardworking people out there getting by without assistance from the govt.

Answer 5

Unfortunately there are many people, like the woman on the bur who don't get married or have children for the right reasons. That's why we have so many babies born to stupid little girls who think they know everything and in reality know very little. It's a shame because it's the kids who pay. People always say things like"I had to", but in reality they choose to. Sounds like you've made some great choices for your future and how you want to live your life. Best of luck to you!

Answer 6

well, that person talking to you was obviously an ignorant, lazy person.

The good new is, however, that she was in the minority (no, not a rascist statement...). Most people don't feel that way - they'd rather get an education, get married, then have children.

This girl you ran into - she was, it seems, brought up to look for the easiest way out, at all times. To her, hard work is a dirty word, and integrity - well, she probably wouldn't recognize that word if you put it in front of her.

Pay her no mind - she will, someday, realize that she's ruined her life.

Answer 7

Sounds like the person talking to you; was stupid, ignorant, and lazy. And the sad part is; she was raised like that. Surrounded around people who believe the same thing.

Most adults wish they could go back and attend or finish college for financial reasons.
Also having a child in wedlock has a lot less complications involved.

Answer 8

People DO believe in having an education and having children when they are married.... just the same way there are people who don't think these things are necessary or even important. There is no one answer to your question "why."... It can be a whole bunch of things: poor upbringing; lowered expectations, etc. In any case, I agree with your viewpoints and I'm glad your boyfriend feels the same. I wish there were more people who feel the way you do. I wish you the very best.

Answer 9

Make sure you finish school. Eventually you, too, will be subjected to a class called English. There you will learn that, before words that begin with a vowel, "an" would apply, rather than "a". Maybe there will be a course on how to not make a public a$$ out of yourself. Sign up for two semesters. Eventually you'll be punching your time card here in the real world with the rest of us.

Answer 10

shame on the bus girl for making that a race issue! boo! there's white trailer trash and all sorts of minorities who have overcome their struggles, turned trouble into strength and made millions by their own bootstraps! but as to having a child in wedlock, going to college, hold to YOUR dreams, don't let haters try to make your life miserable just cause theirs is. hold those ideals and live for them. i graduated from college and had a baby 4 years after being married. government has never paid for anything of mine even tho we've struggled financially before. keep your dream alive!

Answer 11

I am completly dumbfounded myself, too. Although, I can tell you I know alot of white girls that are on wellfare, so ignorance and laziness runs the gammit everywhere. Just thank God your head is on straight. She ought to have been thanking you, since your taxes are feeding her babies and providing them with healthcare, instead of chewing your butt for wanting an education and a stable family life! Keep on doing the right thing!!!