Are guys turned off if a girl doesn't party or all the time or drink?

Question

Hey y'all. I am known as the good girl that doesn't smoke, drink or go wild at parties. I am in college and it seems like that's all guys like to do and also girls. And it also seems like guys are into the girls that do party, get smashed and aren't really goal-oriented. I feel like I'm the only 18 year old that doesn't enjoy getting wasted. I only get approached by older men or guys that say they want to stalk me. My guy friends tell me I am beautiful, which I don't believe, but they tend to go after the girls that are heavy partiers. Am I wrong or do guys prefer party girls?
I just feel like I can have a good time hangin out with my friends without drinking..am I the only one?!
I have friends that do drink and that is fine with me, and I totally respect them for that. To everyone his own. It's just some people don't respect my own personal choice to not drink.

Answer 1

Actually, I was always turned off by girls who would drink and party all the time. My fiancee was searching for a guy who didn't drink or party. So.... it worked out for us. :-)

Acutally, by hanging out with our friends and not drinking-- you're a stronger person who can accept their friendship for exactly what it is. You're not putting on a show. You're not being someone you don't want to be. You're not doing whatever it takes to "fit in." Be proud.... most people are too weak to do that!

To this day, I still go to parites with friends who drink... I like the parties... I drink pop. Nobody questions it or thinks anything of it. Nobody cares-- they're just glad I'm at the party.

Yeah, maybe you are the good girl who doesn't smoke or drink... but, seriously.... Guys will be attacted to you even more because of it. Wild girls are easy to come by... Girls like you aren't.

Now-- as for lack of serious-relationship-type guy friends right now-- don't worry... but, if you are, seek the right kinds of guys out yourself. Don't wait for them to come to you. The best guys are usually the shy ones that won't speak up. Also, guys REALLY don't mind when girls approach them. Trust me on this... I am a guy myself.

If you become frustrated and can't find a guy that's right for you, try the place I met my fiancee: www.okcupid.com . It's free. It's a little raunchy at times. But it really works so long as you're honest when you answer the questions. Also, unlike eHarmony and other dating services it attracts a younger crowd. And for free you can't go wrong.

Hope this helps a little.... remember, don't change who you are for others... just seek out the person that's right for you.

Answer 2

It is very often the case, that when children get away from their parents for the first time they go a little crazy - and they tend to hang out with others doing the same thing (of the opposite sex if they are lucky). It can also be a sign of fear of their life to come and rather than think about it, they drink about it.

Everyone is different - and as a person who does not indulge in these things, you will likely gravitate to guys that are like you. What you need to do is find them. If 20% of all the kids are not drinking (and one would hope it was more), that should leave some options for you. Many of them are likely into athletics or other activities where a clear mind and strong body is needed.

You will be amazed if you watch at how the people evolve over their time at school. The real party animals will not likely come back for the second year - and as the studies get harder there is less time for it without being kicked out. The college environment does more than teach you book smarts, it tries to show and train you to be successful in a community and forces you to mature to some extent. Fascinating, really.

Peace!

Answer 3

Well, let's put it this way:
I am at one extreme of three friends and we've all known each other since 3rd grade. Biz is the one that doesn't date (doesn't have time), doesn't smoke, will never drink (for personal reasons), and is still a virgin. 'Stina is the one that's in the middle (slowly letting herself get corrupted...secretly). I'm the one that's done all the heavy partying and changed my religion and done all sorts of terribly stupid things over the years. You know what...these girls will probably grow out of it and the guys will probably (if they mature at all) realize that they don't want to spend money on partying all the time when they could secure MORE parties in the future if they wanted to by simply staying focused on everything that's important. Of course, the ones that don't grow out of these habits all move into places like northwestern Arkansas or east Oklahoma and develop a meth problem. They become what I generally call "deadbeat trailer trash". You certainly don't want that. It may be that all the people in your surrounding area are in the same mindset except for a select few, and out of those few, it's probably very hard for them to have the desire to stay sober and still have good, clean fun! That comes with the age you're at...when your age group turns 21...it'll get old because #1, it's legal to drink, and #2, they've probably burnt out on pot by that point anyways and realized that they're just wasting time and money...and brain cells for that matter (until 3 months after quitting marijuana the IQ stays down). So...ask a classmate or someone you find to be fun if they are really into partying that much...and even if they ARE, it doesn't mean that they don't like to have movie nights and laughathons with their favorite comedian's dvds, or they don't enjoy putt putt or camping or tai chi... You aren't a total nerd because you're not a party-goer...those just aren't your types of parties. To further answer your question: obviously you're not the only one...I'm sure more people have answered by now.

Answer 4

There may be a certain group of guys that look for that 'party girl' but I think they are in the minority. I may be wrong about that. I will also point out that it is a stage that many college students go through. Now that I am older I can see how wrong that was to me. I am turned off by anyone who uses drugs and/or drinks heavily. I think that peopl elike that have other issues. Anyway, stay the way you are and I'm sure you'll be fine.

Answer 5

Well, here is an answer from a former "party girl". A few years ago, I was drinking a lot and partying because that's what I thought guys wanted and found appealing. None of the guys I dated during that time stuck around. My fiance now met me when I wasn't in that mode so much and is the best relationship I ever had. I think that if you want a decent guy and his respect, you have to give it. Stick to what you can look back upon and be proud of, that's what matters.

Answer 6

Not all guys are that way! Also maybe older guys approach you because you show signs of being not just a beautiful woman but a well respected one too. I get approached by younger women even 15 years younger than I am. I guess I like the attention but I can't even think of dating them because I don't want a girl that isn't mature in mind too but I prefer one that knows what she wants and knows that it is not a game. So if you want a guy your age all you have to do is be patient. It will happen.

Love is blind regardless of age difference. But maturity has a lot to do with a serious relationship. I don't mean age I mean mature in personality.

Answer 7

I don't think a guy is turned off by a girl who doesn't party all the time or drink, but I think he is turned off by a girl who never lets her hair down. That's not to say you should become a insta-drunk, but you should realize that a large part of going away to school is the social aspect. Try to find social things at your school that aren't centered around drinking that way you don't stand out as "the girl who doesn't drink," and instead, you could show who you are when you are having a good time around other people who are into the same things.

Answer 8

Most people tend to party to have fun. Its the norm. You don't tend to party. You are out of the norm. This is not a bad thing, nor is it necessarily a good thing. While it will take a longer time to find a guy who can identify with you, you will find someone eventually. Im 17 and im going throught the exact same thing as you. I dont like to party and im sure that girls prefer the party guy over the non-party guy. However, with time, people will change. In the meantime, you just need patience.

Answer 9

Do you WANT a party guy? Then you may want to be a party girl.... sometimes. Otherwise, be yourself and attract the kind of guys you will want to hang onto, somebody you will respect.

The thing is you don't have to really choose. I liked being a party girl once in awhile when I was in college. It was fun! But I always knew when I'd had enough, and I didn't let myself get so trashed I lost all conscience.

Maybe you should let it all hang out once in awhile! It might be a good way to relieve all the stress that college students have to deal with. Maybe you don't have to drink to party. That's great!

Just try to balance fun and work.

Answer 10

I say if it is the right guy he will not care that you are not a "party" girl! As a matter of fact he will prefer you not to be! Who wants to take a "wild woman" to meet your mama, am I right guys? By the way, I was never a "party" girl and was also known for that all through high school and I have been happily married for almost ten years to a wonderful guy that usually had dated "wild" girls! (before me of course) But guess who he decided to take home to mama? Me! It is a matter of respect! You teach people how to treat you by the way you treat yourself! Stay strong and respect yourself and the right guy will come when you are truly ready! Good luck and may God bless you!