FYI: Im sick of the pressure....(im 25 & married)...i want to put it off but in laws, friends. my family & my husband wont stop nagging. Its only fair, my husbands 30 and doesnt want to be an old dad. But financially we're not ready. What do u think? (please include the age u think )
2006-07-22 17:44:25 · 17 answers · asked by Baby Jack born 4/5/09 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
From having read your other questions, you obviously know very little about raising a child- so please, do your child a favor, and wait until you have matured and really done your research. I can't give you an exact age, because I don't know how long it will take you to do this, but if I had to guess, I would say wait until you are 29 or 30. Your husband will only be an old dad if he acts like an old dad- so tell him to stay in good shape and get over it!
The worst thing you can do is let family pressure you into having a baby before YOU, and only YOU, are ready- it's your body and your life. Once you and your husband are ready, and you have BOTH researched child rearing, go for it. It is very important that he be as much a part of raising this child as you are.
If you have a baby now, while you are too young and not ready, you won't be the best mom that you can be- and I'm sure that is not what you want- for the sake of you and your baby. You will both be happier and healthier for having taken the time to properly prepare.
Stay Strong- Don't Give In To The Family Pressure!!!!!!!
PS. are you sure you even want to have children? not everyone does, and they are perfectly content with their decision- it's their extended families that usually have a problem, and they will get over it, eventually.
I wish you peace and clarity of mind in making this life altering decision. ❀
take care
2006-07-22 19:56:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
Any age over 18 is fine as long as you're mature enough and financially settled enough to handle parenthood. Also, do you have space for a nursery? Of course, you should be in good health, too, before trying. (Being over 40 might be pushing it.)
Anyway, what your pushy relatives don't seem to understand is that *YOU* will be the one carrying this child, not them. Ask them all (politely) to back off - assert the fact that you are not ready yet and that you will not continue any more discussion on the matter. When *you* are ready, then you are ready. It kills me to think that some of those people bothering you are mothers themselves - you'd think *they* would remember being pregnant, huh?
Good luck, and I hope it can happen soon, but when *you* are ready. I can understand your husband's feelings, though - I love kids, but being single and 40 doesn't help my chances of ever becoming a dad. If I were to meet someone now and do what it took, I'd be in my 50's when that child is a teenager. ACK! Talk about generation gap - LMAO! Still, you both have to understand each others' needs and come to a compromise. However, don't let anyone make you capitulate.
2006-07-23 00:57:54 · answer #2 · answered by wheezer_april_4th_1966 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think anywhere between your age and the age of your spouse would be great thirty isn't old you are just beginning to settle down into a career and 25 isn't bad either because by that time you should have some sort of degree so you can work when the child gets to be of school age. Theres nothing wrong with a forty year old dad my dad is forty I'm seventeen but haven't live with him my ten year sister has though and he's still got plenty of energy and they tend to be the better parents anyway because they aren't immature like a young parent is its kinda hard for a child to tell another child what to do. Put it off its your choice he'll live.
2006-07-23 00:52:14 · answer #3 · answered by A Poor Musician 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had my son 9 days before turning 25, my husband was 32. We weren't ready yet, either, but he happened anyway (I was on the pill).
I suggest waiting another 2-3 years. Lots of people are having kids in their mid-to-late thirties and beyond, so your husband won't be an old dad. besides "old" is more about attitude than the number on you birth certificate.
2006-07-23 10:19:56 · answer #4 · answered by HearKat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let anyone pressure you, wait until your ready. Emotionally and financially. Save money for a year and then if you feel more secure go off of birth control, that still gives you another 9mnths to save. Good luck. That isn't too far from now, so it's a good compromise for you and your husband.
2006-07-23 00:50:26 · answer #5 · answered by sixteensgrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't give you an age because it all depends on when you're ready to actually have kids. By the same token, are you ever really ready to have kids? It's a pretty life changing event, after all. Only you can decide when you think you are prepared enough. Everyone else should respect that. Good luck.
2006-07-23 00:52:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing under 26. But the only smart time to have a child is if you are emotionally and financially ready and responsible to take care of a human life.
2006-07-23 00:53:15 · answer #7 · answered by Violet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 16 and have a lil girl and I'm doing fine I don't spend more than 200 dollars a month with her I have WIC which pays for the most the food she eats, whenever you believe the time is right its right you don't need to ask people what age they think you should have a kid
2006-07-23 02:32:18 · answer #8 · answered by Shana Loraine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't wait past 30. You could have problems conceiving and have a difficult pregnancy. You are at a good age right now.
2006-07-23 00:50:43 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think it's an age question as much as a maturity question. are you and your husband mature enough in your relationship that you can honestly invite a new person into your life? i would guess by your asking that you (you and your husband) are not ready...
2006-07-23 00:51:11 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋