I have 2 sons. 12 and 9. I am facing problem with my 12 yrs old son on his schoolwork.?

Question

He refuses to do his homework.His school teachers has given up on him and his class teacher has asked him to leave the class to stand outside whenever she comes in to teach his class. She also told me that she would not give him any worksheet to work on. I have tried talking to my son but he will only listen for a few days and will start hiding his homework or tell lies. Both the teacher and I have tried numerous ways but to no avail. He is in a chinese school and will be sitting for his UPSR in Sept. His result is mostly C and Ds. He just prefer to watch TV and eat. As a mother I am very sad because he just refused to co-operate. I am thinking of sending him to a boarding school. I am not refusing my responsibilities. Maybe in that enviroment he will be able to respond better. I have no problems with my youngest son and his result is mostly As. My husband and I are currently working. Am I making the right decision? Or should I just send him to a national school?

Answer 1

I'm no expert but I think you should take his privilages away from him. If he likes to watch tv, dont let him untill he does his homework.

Answer 2

Yes it can get tough when your child began to try and do things his way you need to keep in touch with the teacher everyday let him be aware that you and the teacher talk everyday if only for 5 minutes make unexpected visits as often as you can sometimes do not let him know you are there and watch his reactions toward doing his school work in school watch his teachers interact with him check for good teacher presence toward your child take him to the bad side of town and let him see how some people live ask him this question (Do you want to live like this)? show him the bad side of what can happen to him if he do not get his education show him raggedy homes and places people living on the street etc... talk to him everyday ask him how was his day at school what would he like to be when he grows up talk to him about graduation , college your son wants to rule but you can not afford to allow him to do that if he does not listen think about his education take away the tv take a way his favorite treats never let him go hungry but you can stop him from his treats that he likes until he does his homework and do better in school take away his priviledges as well he might act like it won't matter but believe me it does I have a 15 year old I have already been through it you have to stay firm and follow through mean what you say and say what you mean! Do not move or change follow through he will look for loop holes cover all the holes give him only alternatives that will put him on track to doing his work in school and homework at home give him chores and set goals with him long and short term that will help him with his education get creative and if you believe in god pray a family that prays together stays together

Answer 3

Well to put it frankly your son is a preteen he is going to puberty and alot of things right now most kids start acting up at that age cause they thank that they can make there own decisions well first of all it dosen't sound like to me that you disipline your son, You said all he wants to do is set around and watch tv and eat and not do his homework! Well you tried the first thing and that was talking to your kid and you said that dosen't seem to work well you need to disipline him when he comes home from school ask him if he has any homework if he says no call his teachers and ask them to set something up like them calling you or you calling them to let you know if he has homework so if he is lying to you, you can disipline him and befoe he does anything make him do his homework, even if it's a weeknight and there's no school make him do it, Take away the things that he loves the most like watching tv and things like that tell him if he dosen't listen to you that you will take it away and just keep taking things away until he eventually understands that you are the boss and the parent and that he listens to you, Also he's old enough to be doing some chores make him do some chores around the house if he gets a allowance take it away things like that will work believe me also you don't want him setting a bad example for your younger son, Oh and boarding schools they don't do anything they just make it worser if you ask me but this is only advice and i hope you take it well if you need anymore advice please contact me at [e-mail] and i hope everything goes well

Answer 4

You are going to have to start taking away the things he likes the most. Every time he comes home from school, you should make him do his homework at the kitchen table without the tv being on. Check his homework to make sure he is doing it right. He may not understand the work and feel ashamed of nothing know how to do it. He may need a little help with understanding how to do his work. You let your children know, you can be successful, without making it through school. "Education is like medicine, we all most take it". If you give your child money, then stop and make them earn every penny by doing their homework and making the grades. Its important to check their homework everyday, so you'll know if they understand the work. Keep in contact with the teachers to see how you children are doing with their school work, if they continue to fall behind then maybe they need to be place in a class that is more of their speed. It doesn't its something wrong with your child, it just mean they learn slower than other students. I say for now, take away what they like most, don't give them nothing, and check their work everyday.

Answer 5

I have two sons who are 16 and 14. My youngest son is very good at school and my oldest son is not. When he was 12 he hated school and didn't try at all but every year has improved some. But he is very talented in other areas such as art and music. He plays guitar, piano and drums and loves it. We have thought of sending him to boarding school to improve his academic scores. He would not get the same amount of time with his music.I think maybe school was is not his gift. Have you had him tested for a learning disability? My son is Dyslexic and that made things much harder. Look for his other talents and encourage him. Who knows maybe he is the next Picasso or Mozart!

Answer 6

Your son needs to be taught to respect authority. He may always have an assertive temperment and this is not a bad thing, it is what it is, a strong-willed child. You cannot fix your tough boy overnight, but by treating him with sincere love and dignity, and expecting him to follow your leadership, things should eventually work.
The bottom-line is you have to establish a strong but loving leadership, chose carefully matters that are worthy of confrontation and accept his challenges on those issues and win decisively. Reward every positive cooperation effort he makes by offering your praise, attention,and affection. This is the first step in helping your son learn how to control his powerful impulses.
Once he understands who is in charge and that he will be held accountable for his actions and behaviours, he should behave in a more cooperative manner. But in your battles with your son, it is extremely important for you to come out the confident winner.
When the parent consistently loses in confrontations with their children, resorting to screaming, tears, or other signs of frustrations, some dramatic change takes place in the way the child sees them. Instead of being strong, confident leaders, they become spineless jelly fish who are unworthy of respect or allegiance. Harshness, gruffness, and sterness are not effective in shaping your son's will. Constant whacking, threatening, and criticizing are destructive and counterproductive. An angry parent is not effective parenting and only leads to more wilfill behaviour from the child.
You should keep the tenor in your home pleasant, fun and accepting of one another. At the same time you should be confident and firm. You are the " boss", if you believe it, then your problem child will too. Happy journeys.

Answer 7

Doesn't sound like he's happy at this school. He may be a gifted student who needs more challenging work. I would pull my child if the teachers have given up on him. That must be very hard on him knowing the adults who are supposed to be helping him have given up. Can you take him to be assessed somewhere outside of this particular school? He could be bored or even depressed. I might even take him to a doctor who could evaluate him for depression. At least you could rule it out. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 8

I don' t meant to be blunt but did you ever cheat on your hubby?

Sounds like the 12 year old may be the result of an affair with a black man or a Mexican.

Answer 9

IT SOUNDS LIKE HE IS HAVING A LOT OF EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS AND OR HE JUST DON'T GET IT ...WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL IF I DID NOT UNDERSTAND IT I WOULD NOT DO IT ......IT WAS BETTER THAN BRING ATTENTION TO MY SELF....MAYBE A TUTOR IS WHAT HE NEEDS.MY PROBLEM IN SCHOOL WAS THAT THEY PUT ME IN A CLASS THAT GOES WITH MY AGE NOT HOW I TESTED I WAS A SLOWER LEARNER THEN MY FELLOW CLASS MATES.ASK THE TEACHERS HOW THEY DO IT BY TESTING OR MY AGE(WHERE THEY THINK U SHOULD BE AT)NOT ALL KIDS R THE SAME,THEY HAVE DIFFERENT PACE THEM OTHERS,,,(I SHOULD KNOW).OR MAYBE SOME HOME RESTRICTION LIKE HIS T,V .......WELL GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS

Answer 10

He needs counseling and a very strict and structured system or he is never going to get into a college or have a future. Military school might work.