Been seeing this man for 6 years as a friends w/benefits relationship. As the time pass the more we got together. Just over a year ago I ended because I had crossed the line and let emotions and my heart get involved. When I said good bye to him I told him why and told him that I had to say the 3 words at least once, I love you! 3 months later I hear from him & he wants to know if I am ready to see him again. So we resume our relationship. From the very first time back the passion is at a level its never been. And now he is performing oral sex on me, he never ever did that in the past. Not only is he doing it its become an obsession. When we are together the level of passion is almost overwhelming and its always him setting the tone. Does he feel the same way about me that I feel about him but just unable to admit it? Is it true that he has taken it further using oral sex as a way of going to the next level emotionally? Or am I just dreaming/fantasizing?
2006-07-22 16:58:58 · 23 answers · asked by imaginaryfriends2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
you told him you loved him but he never said anything back, so he's not in love with you at this present time otherwise he would have said something especially after all this time, and him bringing new things in the relationship may just be his way of making it more exciting and not because he is trying to reach another level emotionally with you, but over time who knows how he may feel...
2006-07-22 17:06:57 · answer #1 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oral sex does not equal love. If you feel like you are in love with him and the feeling is mutual, he should be willing to tell you that by this point....6 years is a long time not to figure that out. Hate to be the bearer of not so good news, but thats just the way I see it. I'm sure that he still loves you on some levels but maybe b/c he is so comfortable with the way the relationship has been...hes a little scared to do anything else...for fear that he might mess up a good thing. Also, its hard for some people to get away from that relationship "comfort zone" that he might be in. Whatever the case may be, I hope it works out for you.
2006-07-22 17:05:42 · answer #2 · answered by Elaine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really hate to admit it but personally I think it is lust.What do you have past intimacy. Sure a friendship that has surpassed friendship because you 2 have crossed the line. I know because that's where i am right now. If he wanted more then you would be more than "just friend's with benefits". I have put in 2 years worth of "best friend's with benefits". Goodness girl you put in 6yrs. Where's the commitment? Where's the ring? I tell my"best friend" as often as I can I wear a size 6 (ring size) so when he comes to his senses the ring will definitely fit :) Your man has a good woman in you, he needs to realize you can be swept off your feet by the right man that crosses your path so he had better get with the program before you cancel him. Don't be a doormat. He needs to offer you more than intimacy that rocks your world. These men have got to realize doing right by their woman is the only way. Oh yeah and by the way that oral sex thing is just a way to hook you and keep you from leaving. Find a man than wants to commit and oral sex with him will be just as good.TRUST ME.
2006-07-22 17:14:48 · answer #3 · answered by heavenly28001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's impossible to tell if he is performing on you orally now because he has found out that he is very sexually interested in it or because he's trying to show his feelings for you.
Men love performing oral because they know it makes the woman feel good. So, he probably does have at least some emotions for you...since he is trying to please you. If he didn't care about you at all...then he'd probably try the quickest method of getting in and out. He wouldn't be making you feel this passionate if he was having sex with you coldly.
Given the fact that you told him that you loved him and he still asked to be involved with you means that you didn't scare him off by saying it...and many times I think a guy in his place would move on quickly if they felt nothing.
The absolutely only thing that you can do to know for sure is talk to him about it. I'd try asking him as casually as possible though and after you have sex when he isn't horny...since that's when I assume he will be the most honest.
2006-07-22 17:07:06 · answer #4 · answered by xxx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hun i've been there but u never know what it is there thinking. my opinion is if u love him it just cant be kept as a friend with previliges any more once feelings are involved theres no limit of what you may do next. which sucks. just get away if he likes you, he should ask you out. or is there something in the way? see i let him be a jerk because i'm married and i was a virgin when i got married and i'm only 18 i wanted to try something else and when i did i realized i was missin a lot. dude. if ur feelings are involved this has to at least be called boyfriend and girlfriend that way you know whats up. or set ur cards on the table and what happens after that is your answer hun. good luck!!!!!!!
2006-07-22 17:06:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, umm besides the oral is their a good communication between the two of you? Is he emotionally there for you? Has he said how he feels for you? That's the important stuff. If the answer is yes to all of the above then I would say yes he is going to the next level. He obviously finds you attractive, and sensual, that is always a plus.
2006-07-22 17:05:10 · answer #6 · answered by ~confused~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it is love or lust is not for anyone to say except for you or your friend. apparently you are having a relation that has started as a friendship and has developed as a passion..so let it be..nothing wrong with that..you have good time...he has a good time...and you are not an 15 year old virgin anymore...so enjoy his company wheter it be sex or just sit down and talk....emotions can run high so let them run live your sexual life fully no matte what..... eventually the passion will ease up in a couple of years and frienship will stay there (if it was there in the first place)
good luck
2006-07-22 17:08:37 · answer #7 · answered by lovephoto 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe the level for sex is like this, when you are with someone as friends with benefits the sex is about pleasing yourself. But when there is love involved it is more about how you can please the person you are with first. Another way to see it is that a lot of men have a have time telling a woman how he feels so maybe this is his way of showing you how he feels.
2006-07-22 17:05:41 · answer #8 · answered by thumpers_aura 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is tough. its seems to me you fell in love. he on the other hand sounds like lust. have you tried having the serious talk with him? if you do try it at a restaurant or somewhere public. If you have this talk at a home or somewhere private it could lead to other things and may never get your answer. Just be prepared for the answer whether good or bad. If he is not the one for you there definitely is someone out there for you. good luck with everything and hope it all works out for the best.
2006-07-22 17:06:39 · answer #9 · answered by nickie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
by the way this is dramatic by the way but if i can help you i would have to say maybe he not tryna get more emotional by performing oral sex on you but he just like doing but he obviously loves u iuf he staying with you but i say u stop b4 u get hurt or ask him he will be honest about ur feelings he loves you
2006-07-22 17:04:53 · answer #10 · answered by nina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋