alone. Am I right to feel this way? Hell everyone is stressedddddddddddddddddddddddddddd!
2006-07-22 16:16:37 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Whoa whoa WHOA. Everyone is jumping down your throat like you are a horrible person, and I want to put something in perspective:
We all have horrible thoughts we shouldn't have. We consider our bosses' demise. We think about the life insurance on our parents or spouse. We wish the old lady driving 10 miles an hour with her blinker on would crash. IT'S NORMAL. Don't pretend it's not.
What IS important to realize is why you feel like that, and if it's actually valid. Obviously, it's not very nice or sympathetic of you to wish he'd "leave you alone" when you're his life line while he's getting his @$$ shot at in Iraq. You should cultivate the compassion to be there for him, to WANT to be there for him. The only way to do this is to think about the reasons you feel those "horrible" things...
Are you afraid of losing your love, so you don't want to hear about those near experiences? Are you fearful that if he dies, you'll be left alone and you don't know what to do? Do you feel like he never asks how you are doing, even if it might be less serious than what he is going through?
Get to the bottom of your irritation, confront it completely, and be honest with yourself and with him!
Hope this helps!
2006-07-22 16:32:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
Be thankful he calls, and that he cares enough to talk to you. I suspect there are many women, or mothers who would give anything to hear from their husband, or son and it will never happen. Perhaps you should think about him over there away from everyone and everything he loves and not yourself. You have a support group, family, friends and you can walk away from some of the most stressful times. Your husband is stuck in a place that lights up with bombs, where people are starving and dying and have nothing to look forward to but more of the same. When the calls stop -- then I'd be irritated and stressed. And if he leaves you ---- well, come back and tell us how relieved you are. Please!
2006-07-22 16:23:27 · answer #2 · answered by Katieshouse 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not rignt. You should be ashamed of yourself. Your husband has his life on the line making sure that America remains the best country in the world. He assumes, and has the right to, that his closet love (you) is the one person that he can talk to about anything. Try to imagine what he is going through and how happy he must be that he has you to talk with. You are supposed to be his number 1 supporter but instead you are wishing he would leave you. You are a pitiful excuse for a wife.
2006-07-22 16:25:34 · answer #3 · answered by JRandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, way to be there for your husband. He's in a foreign country, far from home, and I assume he's there to fight for his country? Yet you say you wish he'd leave you alone and not stress you out? I haven't heard anything that selfish for quite a while. I work with military people and talk to our men and women in Iraq and Afghanistan frequently - I'm always willing to lend an ear to these brave people who are fighting for ME. I always make it a point to thank them for their service too. But you can't be bothered to listen to your own husband. That is so......sad. I hope you think about the sacrifice he's making and try to put yourself in his place. Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll divorce you - and find someone who appreciates him. Maybe it shouldn't be all about youuuuuuuuuuu.
2006-07-22 16:22:59 · answer #4 · answered by They call me ... Trixie. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you have a military spouse support group on base. have you told him to not to tell you stuff that is stressful. its OK that you feel this way and its OK to ask. tell him how you feel and ask for help from others who may be going thru the same thing. being a military brat i know how it feels seeing my mom stress when dad was TDY and such. we were lucky he retired in 93 before all this happen. but we had to deal with long long times of TDY , one in Alaska where he dealt with a bad plane crash. being overseas during desert storm our whole family was stressed do people threatening our schools and base with picketers attacking cars and bomb threats. i lived in Germany at that time. so you are not alone about stress. also pray for guidance and if you have children that's also more reason to ask for help. you base minister or if you have a local church you attended ask them. you can also contact your base councilor who can give you a local group that can help. if where you live doesn't have one start your own group. stress may be part of your husband situation too. ask the one you go for guidance if you cant handle the stressful words from your husband. a spouse has to handle the life on the other end of the military life. stress goes both ways and each needs differant help. each needs a differant type of support. talk to your husband calmly. don't be afraid to ask for help. you have already taken one great step asking this site. hope the other helps.
2006-07-22 16:29:20 · answer #5 · answered by angelchele 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, I've seen your past couple of posts. You really don't want to be with him, at all. You're cheating on him, you actually say you want to leave him, and you are upset about the fact that he calls you. Face it, you're just waiting for someone to give you the go-ahead on filing divorce on the poor guy. He's out there risking his life for this country, he needs someone to talk to! I feel sorry for him. At least wait until he's back from war to divorce him. If you leave him right now, his morale might get so low that he'll get distracted and get hit by a bullet or something.
2006-07-22 16:59:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is your obligation to assist your husband - he needs you to HELP him! You are married You are obligated! Remember the crap he is going through - be strong - seek a group - Women of Solders in Iraq, Wives of War... something like that.. get in a support group and learn how to be the best wife to your husband who is over there doing whatever part he is doing... to keep YOU and all of us safe!
Going to a group will help you to vent and show you that you are not alone - there are many husbands and wife's that are going through what you are.
Recall the old days when you loved him enough to take his name... and be strong
Good luck - I hope you work it out (stay married) Dont give up!
2006-07-22 16:25:22 · answer #7 · answered by T ¸¸.â?¢*´¸¸.â?¢*´¨L ¨`*â?¢.¸¸¨`*â?¢.¸¸ T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is stressing you out? Are you a fixer? If your husband says, "I have a problem" do you crank up your fixing operation? Or kids, or relatives? Here's one you can't fix. All you can do is listen and sympathize, right? Most of the time, when your guy talks to you about a problem, that's what he wants--a listener. And sympathizer. Be one when he calls. (Easier said than done, but give it a shot.)
2006-07-22 16:30:38 · answer #8 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what the greatest feeling in life is? That you are loved and supported by someone. Your husband turns to you. That is what you do when you are married. Why is everyone becoming so selfish in this country? Love him. Honor him. And respect him. You pledged that when you got married. Marriage has it's ups and downs. Stick through it. He deserves that much.
2006-07-22 16:29:34 · answer #9 · answered by aaron c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm guessing this is a prank question.
But if not...
Let me get this straight. You're married to an American hero risking his life daily for people he doesn't know; war is affecting his soul deeply; he needs the sanity and support of family, friends and anything civilized; and the foremost thing on your mind is how stressed out YOU are?
I think he, my dear, is the one who should leave you.
2006-07-22 16:28:23 · answer #10 · answered by Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋