A guy known my life 5yrs closely he loves me.People show love to love but he shows it by hate,being mean.He does love me its fact(hes admitted it)..Hes great guy who adopted orphanages,as friend, normal.Hes 34,doc,father same,mother homemaker, thrown out of home,was in gang,no girl wants to marry gangster, hes educated,rich.Weve strong bond.Im reaching out to him,responds but goes silent for months till reach out.Can u explain why he being in love shows it by hate(his hates love)?
2006-07-22 16:05:59 · 26 answers · asked by aaffairtoremember 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
please dont say move on etc serious answers.My question is WHY?
2006-07-22 16:06:23 · update #1
Its mystery a secret anyway anyhow find out what it is there lies your liberation u sound like a person who will accept any truth as long as u know however bad however worst.So find out mystery secret!
2006-07-25 13:26:21 · answer #1 · answered by docfreudianslip 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he is 34 years old and shows his love by hating...that isn't right.
Honestly, I'd say that something is mentally wrong with him [he probably has some past issues in his childhood where someone treated him like that or something] and he should talk to a therapist about it.
Not only is it not smart to be involved with someone like him..because he obviously doesn't care about you as much as you do him...but it probably isn't completely safe.
Either he doesn't know how to treat love or he REALLY doesn't love you. Think about that. Either way you are better off without him...keep yourself safe and remember that there are so many other people out there that would love to get the chance just to date you and would treat you with a love that included no hate.
2006-07-22 23:12:01 · answer #2 · answered by xxx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he may be angry about his past... maybe he feels unloved so he treats you the same way. Just remember people like this tend to be abusive, or grow to be abusive. They say they love you, and they might.. but they can't control there actions and this is dangerous for you. Maybe try to get him into some self-help programs, or a therapist. If he doesn't feel comfortable with that you might want to give him some time to evaluate his life. As much as you love him it's not healthy for you to be with someone who shows there love through hate. You need to make sure you`re doing whats best for you.
2006-07-22 23:09:11 · answer #3 · answered by Cara Lynn♥ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like he truely love you more then himself and that is a fact and I think there is a deep down hurt that he never will forget the at maybe he feels that he cuaused and from doing dumb things as a kid and gangs and all that police records and all he figures that there is really no furture for you to really get mixed up with him as in living together although it tears him apart when you ask him to
because of his pass will it remain in the past or come out of the dark to hurt you. and he does not want to take the risk of hurting you more then he is by acting mean to you he loves you he stays in your life to keep you safe. this makes him feel better that he is doing some good for all the years that he was doing foolish things like jacking radios and stuff like that.
One reaon he like being mean is that he can have you lesson and he knows it but that was the only way he knows
give him a big hug and a kiss tell him you understand
2006-07-22 23:24:50 · answer #4 · answered by Paul G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who has the bigger problem here? He doesn't have a problem, does he? He is fine, he thinks. So, YOU have the problem. There is the possibility that he was not shown love growing up. It's one thing to say you love someone, but words don't mean anything. It's when love is 'working'. He is not comfortable being loved if he is not used to it. He may never get used to it either. So, if you love him the way he is, you need to accept the fact that he may NEVER change. Unless he finds the Source of Love, who is actually waiting for him - the Lord Jesus Christ.
2006-07-22 23:13:33 · answer #5 · answered by ravin_lunatic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably a control freak. I don't know but men who act that way are being manipulative. He is pushing to see how much you will take. IF he is a control freak he will do these things to make you feel bad, then tell you he loves you so you will put up with it. He may have a problem with being close to someone, he may be pushing you away out of fear of commitment. Have you asked him? Whatever his problem is, be sure you keep your options open during those silent months. This is your life.
2006-07-22 23:14:47 · answer #6 · answered by prariedog29 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he just forgot how to love. Fact is he might come around eventually but who knows. If you love him and think you can see being with him then stay and hopefully it will change, but realize that one day you will be raiseing kids with this man and do you want your kids to grow up that way.
I have a ex NEVER told me he loved me, I would say I love you he would say hate you to joey lol I knew what it meant he just had been screwed over sooo much and didn't want to give in to the feeling of love.
2006-07-22 23:11:00 · answer #7 · answered by Dreamy J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your paragraph is very hard to understand but I'll give it a shot. A hateful attitude may be the only thing he has experienced in his life and he may have never learned how to love. Try to go places where he can see people who are in love and maybe he can learn from watching them and by you loving him with perserverance and patience. Don't tell him why you want to go to places like that, if he loves you he'll go because you want him to. but don't lie to him. Good luck
2006-07-22 23:16:28 · answer #8 · answered by Go Rush! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How could you show love thru hate......they are opposites. I have heard there is a fine line between love and hate, but I believe it goes one way or the other. Your question is very confusing, but if you think someone shows love thru hate........wouldn't it be easier to show love thru love? Why would you want someone to show hate towards you and believe it is love? Why are you asking strangers such an important and confusing situation from someone we don't know at all?
2006-07-22 23:13:11 · answer #9 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this guy got some issues he needs to deal with. He might be good as a friend but maybe he got burned in his lifetime and can't deal with love so he does hate instead. its a defense mechanism to protect himself from love. to him Love = Pain . Hate equals = defense mechanism. I would go to counselling with him and help him get through this or he gonna keep hating you which is not fair for you.
2006-07-22 23:14:44 · answer #10 · answered by alexia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps there's something in his past that you don't know about making it so that he doesn't know how to act towards you? Some people do show their affection by being mean to the other person. Maybe you could talk to him and see what's up.
2006-07-22 23:08:15 · answer #11 · answered by LTD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋