I recently got into a very serious relationship, and I love her dearly. Since then, I've been trying to cut down on masturbating and eventually stop. Which leads me to ask: How come after I masturbate, even when everyone tells me it's okay, I feel guilty and ashamed of myself? Does this happen to everyone?
What is the cause of this? (And I don't want any religious answers, I'm looking for a more down-to-earth scientific one). Also, don't suggest that I have intercourse with my partner, since it's a long distance thing. I just want to find out the nature of this guilt as to understand it better.
2006-07-22 15:31:49 · 19 answers · asked by kea33w 2 in Health ➔ Men's Health
The guilt thing after masturbation is normal and occurs to almost all men. It has to do with the ultra relaxed feeling we get, the shot of endorphines, and just the process of coming down from a great orgasmic high. Don't dwell on it and get up and get busy.
2006-07-23 03:53:44 · answer #1 · answered by Geo 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
The nature of your guilt is based on religion, which as our dominant cultural influence from the Puritans, taught us that touching our own bodies for pleasure is wrong. Add to that the fact that your parents were taught the same thing as children, so from your earliest unremembered times, slapped your hands away from your infantile penis. That is a life long dose of brain washing that is extremely hard to overcome. Masturbation is a safer alternative than anonymous sex, both in terms of disease AND honoring the commitment to a relationship, so you should try to overcome your guilt over it. HOWEVER, once you are in a position to have intercourse, you should try to cut down on masturbation only because the constant, "all-on" stimulation of masturbation can cause some frustration, as the not to efficient intercourse takes longer, so women who masturbate tend to have trouble having orgasm and men tend to be "one minute wonders". I don't know if that answers your question, but there is no scientific answer to the guilt other than cultural brainwashing,
2006-07-22 22:41:35 · answer #2 · answered by gahrahstah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my guy for 2 years. We can see each other at least 1 a month but I still masturbate. When I started I felt bad cause I love him and in a way I think you connected it almost to cheating. Not in the sense that you have done anything wrong, but maybe you feel like you need something extra and after wards you feel the quilt of caving in. Me and my guy have solved this by upping our phone sex and have a lot of fun doing it. I think it has actually drawn us closer and in times of need we have both gotten pleasure and been happy about it. Hope I helped, even just a little bit.
2006-07-22 22:37:32 · answer #3 · answered by sexylilgirl_idealmgf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shoul not feel guilty,i understand where u are comming from,i too am haveing a long distance relationship.we both masterbate,when we do we try to be on the phone together,or cam or at least chatting to one another.you feel guilty because you think it is like cheeting.its not its better to release it so you are not tempted to go out and cheet.just try and do it when you too can be in contact some way.tell her when you do do it if she is not around that way you wont feel like you are hideing something
sincerely---hot momma
2006-07-22 22:55:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's social conditioning. There is a scientific answer, most likely you have been told sex is a dirty act, as is anything sexual, so when you do something sexual with yourself you feel guilty because you did something taboo. Just understand that it's normal and ok no matter what anyone says.
2006-07-22 23:58:23 · answer #5 · answered by cdf22728 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you feel guilty because you are thinking of another girl or a picture of a girl at the time.
Masturbating is a very strong urge for all men.
2006-07-22 22:35:57 · answer #6 · answered by Mr Bingo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a cultural thing. You grow up with sex and all things associated with it being hidden from you (by parents and teachers). So now that you in a position where you can masturbate and get laid, you are going to feel like you are doing something you shouldnt be doing.
2006-07-22 22:38:25 · answer #7 · answered by Rain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You feel guilty because you make yourself feel guilty. If you were to just understand that it's perfectly fine, and believe it, you wouldn't have any problems.
2006-07-22 22:36:26 · answer #8 · answered by Tophy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did you parents say it was bad or tell you not to or some one else you trust if they did. That could be what is making you feel guilty.
2006-07-23 00:12:05 · answer #9 · answered by TheWonderer878398 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you feel guilty cause you see it as cheating on her. Try to think of it as masturbating to her....flattery. It really is okay to do it.
2006-07-22 22:37:37 · answer #10 · answered by Joe D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋