How to let go?

Question

My boyfriend of 7 years has cheated on me, He keeps denying it and would not admit, I confronted the girl and she told me everything. All the pieces just fit. I had my boyfriend call her since he kept denying it, and as he talked her she said everything she told me and he did not deny one word. He couldn't. Because it was true. All he said was "she's crazy, I wonder if she knew who she was talking too" I feel betrayed and hurt, how do I let him go? Please dont be too brutal, this just happend yesterday and I still hurt Alot!!

Answer 1

there's no easy way to let go, mind you! you can't expect to heal right away no matter how hurt you are with what have been done to you..no matter how bad you think of another person, it will still hurt! no matter how much tears you've cried, it will still as it is..once you're dealing with a thing called love, be prepared and ready to face all kinds of emotions surging through...once you love someoone, you are giving parts or maybe whole of yourself to that someone...so when someone hurts you it feels like you're losing it..it's risk..and its always there whenever you love...but be brave girl..its not your lost, its his :) face the truth, learn from it and dont dwell with it...think of the good times with him, and the good memories, that's how you deal with it, face it squarely..cry if you want but after that leave it there, move on...his lost not yours, remember that..pull yourself together, be happy and you'll be:) if he comes back, well, that's another story!! lol...dont think about it yet..lol..jsut making it light for you :)

Answer 2

I've been in the same place you are today. To this day, I can still identify the crushing sound that churns in the background of my brain from the disintegration of the trust I had under the weight of something so underhanded. When you trust someone so deeply, it encourages you to find rationales and look the other way even when cracks are suspected in the foundation. No wonder people can get away with so much for so long - nothing hurts more than betrayed trust.

You need to end the relationship. The initial impact will be devastating and painful. However, despite the pain, you will ultimately be better off. Seek comfort in your family and friends and get some rest in a quiet place where you can enjoy some simple, unadorned hopefulness. Try to be mindful of doing the right things - take care of yourself, spend time with people you love, pursue neglected interests and hobbies, etc. There's nothing awful or unusual about your situation - you will eventually heal from the scars. In the meantime you need to keep your chin up and do your best at maintaining a posture of grace, forbearance and good humor.

Most of all, once you've gotten over it, remember how much it hurt. Remembering the pain will sometimes be your only defense. People in relationships can be quite cruel and you don't deserve to be treated that way.

Answer 3

Oh, honey, be glad that you know. It is a means to an end, because if he was so careless with your feelings, then you are worth so much more than that. It will hurt, seven years is a long time. I do not suggest you give this guy another chance- he got caught this time, but who is to say he hasn't gotten away with it in the past? I left a guy I was with for 5 years because he wouldn't trust me, and kept accusing me of sleeping around, and I was never unfaithful. That wasn't the only reason I left, but it was enough- and once I left, that's when I found out just how much he did cheat. I am so sorry this happened to you, but there is a lesson to be learned, and that is to be wary of who you open your heart to. And stay strong. Brightest Blessings.

Answer 4

Out of sight out of mind. look at this as a blessing and not so much as a loss. Everything has a season and a reason, and in short his time is up.I know every body f ucks up, but you don't want a man that's not man enough to admitted to what he has done and work on dealing with it. He has a very dismissive attitude just dismiss it and you don't have to deal with it, the only promble with that is you can never began to heal from the wrong doings if he want even admitte to it.In short don't talk to him don't call him and don't let hin see you. If you do this for two weeks you will be okay

Answer 5

You have some hard decisions to make. It might be a good idea to step back, out of the situation, so you can clear your head and think about what you want. If you decide to try to forgive your boyfriend, he has to be completely honest with you. You may never trust him again, though. You'll have to decide if the relationship is worth saving, and so does he. If you decide to break up, it won't be easy. Better to make a clean break, and not have too much contact with him. Some guys will try to get a girl back, just to see if they can. That can drag the breakup and heartbreak on for a long, long time. What you do now will depend on your future intentions. But please, take a break now to think about it.

Answer 6

Hi,
What's that song " life ain't always easy,sometimes it's just plain hard' you have got to keep on keeping on.What you do with this relationship is up to you.If your positive he cheated and now he is denying it then... well it's up to you.My advice would be to suffer through the breakup with class.Go to the gym and get in the best shape of your life,get an awsome tan and make him regret that he lost someone like you.By the way the physical conditioning will help with your pain.
A lifetime is a long time to spend with someone you don't trust and who will probably cheat on you again but like I said it's up to you now.Spiritual matters may also be of some help.

Answer 7

I was married for 30 years so imagine how i felt when I figured it out the he was cheating with a so called friend of mine. I have been divorced for almost 6 years now and I am in a good relationship and taking it slow. Time does help but you wont ever forget. Your going to go through a lot of different feelings but this will be normal. Don't be to hard on yourself.

Answer 8

Just tell him that it would be too hard for you to be together and that you're really hurt from his actions- whether he wants to admit it or not- and that it's really hard to trust him. Just say that you need time to yourself and then in that time hopefully he'll realize what he did or he'll move on so you can. It's hard to get over a relationship no matter how bad it is, but over time, you will find a good man that treats you right and you'll never regret letting the bad ones go.

Answer 9

Try to define your relationship goals for yourself. Is your goal to have a family or a stable long-term partnership? Then it's probably time to move on and find a guy who is honest, and treats you with respect. If you're not looking for a serious long-term committment, then perhaps it makes sense to stay with the boyfriend you're with - just accept that if this happened once, it will most likely happen again. If I were you, I would get out as soon as possible; better to go through all this pain now, and be done with it - than to live through it again and again. There are other guys out there, believe me.

Answer 10

Hey Kitty,

I am so sorry that he cheated on you. You guys have been together for 7 years wow. You already confront her and asked and she told you the truth. I think that he didn't tell her that you and him been together for 7 years wow. I know you love him so much and he been putting you though. All this 7 years you wasted with him.

I know that you are smarter and you can say you know why should I hurt for this jerk for 7 years. I will move on and I am not going to feel sorry for myself. It better for you to do what you what you want to do. And you now are free and pack up and move out. Becasue it better that way.

I married to my wife for 9 years. i ask her last year to see how much she trust me? She said my life and your 2 children life we trust you and faith, that you will never cheating on us. Wow, But I never cheating becasue I love her more than anything I can't image her doing to me. And I can't image that I will put my kids though if I did that.

You know there a guy out there looking for just like you looking for. Kitty, just let him go, remember what they say once cheater, once lying, always cheater and lie. show him that you can live without him and go out there and take care of yourself first not for him. Just for you, Kitty you are smart, funny, caring, outgoing, really strong strong love person that want to be with a guy who do the same thing.

I have alot respect for you kitty, and I don't have no nothing ZERO respect for that guy. Also If someone said too brutal giving you answer ingore and find postive like me who helping you too. Smiling. Your true Deaf Friend.

Answer 11

I know you are hurt and angry. First dedicate one whole hour to cry and let your feelings out. Then.. say.. to yourself outloud.. life goes on. Go out with some friends.. slowly as each day passes.. the hurt will slowly dimenish. It will take some time. But with help of your friends.. you can close this chapter in your life and move on to better things. It will take time and alot of effort on your part. 7 years is a very long time. Dont expect this hurt to go away quickly..... but the quickest way to get over this .. is to find someone else you are interested in and have a great time.