What does it mean when your husband..........????

Question

What does it mean when everytime you and your husband get into a fight, he always brings up getting divorced? I know he could never live without me, but why does he always have to bring it to that point? It seems like everytime we get into a fight, he does not stop until he makes me cry. why????

I mean after an argument he tells me that he cant live without me, I know he physically can. I am just tired of playing his stupid little mind games. I just want to know how I can put a stop to it?

Answer 1

XXXXXXXXXXX he knows it's your week spot. I think husbands say that because they haven't got anything else intelligent or fight worthy to say. It's a dagger they use when they are not getting their point across. It's like a game of chess hun. The word divorce is "Check Mate" XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Answer 2

I was (WAS!) married to a man just like this for six years... he would start an argument for really no apparent reason and not be satisfied until I was in tears no matter what it took. And, like yours, if during these arguments I would say anything about our relationship he would scream at me, "If it's that bad just get the divorce papers and I'll sign them!!". He would also routinley tell me during these arguments that he hated me, etc., etc. Later he would apologize and tell me that it didn't mean anything because it was just "in the heat of the moment". He was SO, SO wrong... it did mean something and you can never take back words once they're said nor does an apology heal the hurt of something that cuts so deep. Just last month I finally seperated from him... and by was he surprised! One of the last things I said to him was that after six years of him telling me to leave him alone, get away from him, and to get the papers... I finally listened! What I would tell you is that it isn't easy but you deserve better. And it's very scary (because these men also make you think you can't survive without them) but you are stronger than you think right now. You need to insist he, and both of you, get some professional help to deal with this. If he wont, then get yourself together, come up with a plan, and do whatever you need to do to make a fresh start. There are really good, kind, loving, supportive men out there and you shouldn't compromise for anything else...

Answer 3

Your husband might be doing this to gain some platform and try to display a sense of power and control in the argument. It's like a bargaining chip in that sense. It might also contribute to temper. He also probably doesn't mean it and says it because it was the "heat of the moment". however, you should bring it up after an argument as cooled down in a sincere nonhostile way where the two of you can understand where that phrase is coming from.

My parents were like that, well except the role was reversed between my father and mother. For my mother, temper and the power/control was the biggest reason for her "divorce" comments.

I hope everything works out and he stops saying that because you don't play around with that kind of stuff.

Answer 4

Well, actually he sounds like a frustrated male! Something is really bothering him sit him down and have a heart to heart then tell him u want to plan a get away for the two of u! Even if it's getting the kids out of the house and it just be the two of u and go nowhere's and really do it up for him! Show him what kind of woman he will miss if he does divorce u! This could turn into a monthly thing!

Answer 5

just out of curiosity...what would his response be if he throws the "I want a divorce" out to you and you said "ya know what? maybe your right?" (Not actually meaning it) but what *would* he say back to you after that?

Then maybe you will give him something to *think* about. I think it means that he doesn't know how to settle an argument with you or admit if he was in the wrong, so he says that to end the fight and turn the tables on you(?)

Obviously afterwards, I'd say to him that it really upsets me that you think you have to end our spats with something so hurtful. Ask him how he would feel if you always said that and really didn't mean it.

Good luck- just don't let him do that to you emotionally.

Answer 6

I would worry.People usually dont throw out stuff in arguments that they've never really thought about at some point in time.
Ask him when u two aren't fighting if he ever thinks about getting a divorce for real, and tell him why ur asking.

Answer 7

I believe he brings up divorce because he want you to feel like you may lose him, it gives him a feeling of controll, samething with making you cry, he has accomplished a feeling of that strength and controll he wants in your relationship........At a time when your not fighting, and getting along well try and make some rules for arguements, you can find a list of those on the internet..
I am telling you this because I use to do the same thing with my wife, I didnt want a divorce but I wanted her to want me....

Answer 8

I think a lot of people want you to think he's just playing games, but I agree with Frosty, he might want out, but wants you to walk out not him.

I think you should talk to him about divorce when you aren't arguing and tell him you don't play around with a serious issue. Tell him if he wants out then he should say so, but stop using it to make you feel bad so you will just leave.

And don't be roped into thinking he can't live without you, it's not true and that's not love. You don't jerk someone around when you love them. I know it's scary to talk seriously about divorce, but since he's bringing it up, just don't allow him to avoid the topic by conning you into believing he can't live without you.

Answer 9

I don't like to be threatened by anyone including my man so the next time he brings it up in a argument I would tell him fine if that's what you really want go file the paperwork. I learned my lesson with all those games a long time ago and refuse to go back there. I wish you the best.

Answer 10

After scanning through 40 answers to your question, I realized there's one possibility that no one seems to be addressing. And I'm guessing that it has already crossed your mind, too. Maybe he really does want out but he doesn't want to be the one to do the leaving. Is it possible that there's someone else in his life? I hope not. But a wife would wonder about such a thing, wouldn't she? If you don't see any of the usual signs, then maybe it really is a control issue.

Answer 11

He always says something about a divorce because he wants to "win". He knows that it will hurt you enough to make you stop fighting and arguing and give in because you don't want a divorce. It's like his winning card with you. Next time, don't let it bother you so much when he brings it up, don't let him wn with that comment.