my husband cheated, but now that I've tried to move on, he wants me back, this is the first time he has done this, he says he knows what he done was wrong. he wants to go to counsling, and he is attending church. should I give him another chance? I really confused on what I'm feeling, can anyone help me here, or has anyone out there, been through this, that could give me some good advice?
2006-07-22 14:09:27 · 28 answers · asked by tonee12004 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They say once a cheater always a cheater but who knows if it is true? You have invested time and energy into this marriage. Were you guys happy before the cheating... did he tell the truth or did you find out... how long was the period of time after the seperation that your husband told you how he felt? do you feel in his heart that he is sincere or did the other person leave him now he is lonely.do you realize now that you are happier apart then you were together...these are some of the questions that you should think about... this is a huge situation and life altering thing think about it write it all down so that you see it in black and white... dont jump back in take your time to decide and if he really wants you back he will be patient and wait intill you have made your decision.. and once that decision is made make it final dont go back and forth it will only confuse every one that is involved...
good luck
be happy
live for your self
2006-07-22 14:18:48 · answer #1 · answered by gaagaala27 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
A man cheating is not a news. I'm sorry but before I got married myself I've lived with two girls and I saw them dating and ******* married men like was nothing! A man is an animal so he just want to try something new when he got the chance but this doesn't mean he doesn't love you anymore. I wants you especially now that he sees he's about to lose you. So, if you love him let him wait a bit just to have a lesson and go back with him anyways, if instead you don't care about him anymore and you want to be free to find someone else or stay with the one you've just met tell him it's over. But I'm not so surprise by hear a man cheating even the best one could do it!
Good luck.
2006-07-22 21:32:34 · answer #2 · answered by ciccina_5 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you need to ask yourself if you still love him. If the answer is yes then why not try counseling? You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. It sounds as if he made a mistake, has acknowledged that and is trying to make changes. Infidelity can be forgiven. It's not always the end of a relationship unless you want it to be. Are you the forgiving type or do you hold onto your anger and build resentment? You didn't mention if you have children so I assume you don't, but if you do then working things out with him is best. Don't rush into anything with him. Stop seeing the man you are seeing now, tell him the truth and start counseling, but don't move in together again until you are absolutely sure. And please don't get pregnant! Goodluck to you both (all three, really).
2006-07-22 21:22:21 · answer #3 · answered by mab5096 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first are there any children involved and how did he treat them. if not you probably should continue with your new guy. if he did this once he may do it again and that will be tough on you. if he didn't care when you found out about the other woman and didn't care that you left him , what did he learn? anyone can go to church, but that doesn't mean that they have changed. people have to know how to apply what they learned to everyday life, otherwise it doesn't count. isn't counseling too late, he should've done that before you left him and he should've given the other woman up at that time too. why did he wait until you got yourself together? of course he wants you back, his other woman probably found someone else. if your single, continue with your new relationship , consider your new partners feelings, you can't just drop him, this would be really bad. be considerate of his feelings. good luck. and say a prayer to God , if you put it in His hands he will make the right thing work out for you.
2006-07-22 21:29:37 · answer #4 · answered by smart007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have moved on he should accept this. I would not even bother to think about going back once a cheater always a cheater and the trust has been broken and it will always be there. Don't start back stepping keep moving forward. I been through this and I ended up staying 13 yrs with broken promises. I am more then happy now and can't believe I bought his bull crap for all those years. Mind you we separated three times for a few months each time. Every time I had things together and getting him out of my system here he came with his bull. I really hope you keep moving forward and don't end up making the same mistakes I made.
2006-07-22 21:28:57 · answer #5 · answered by twinsmakesfive 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough decision, but I think that you should not take him back, because if he loved you so much, why did he run into the arms of another woman? Sure, he wants to go to counseling, but anyone can go to counseling for whatever reason; what's his point? And okay, he's going to church, and that's a good thing, but he should be going to church, regardless if it's for him, or if he's just trying to earn you back. So now what? He thinks he deserves a gold medal? If he wants you back so badly, he needs to prove himself harder than that. How do you know that if you were to take him back again, that he wouldn't for any reason hurt you again the same way twice? Well basically, you have to look deep inside your heart and trust the answer, but also look both ways before you cross.
2006-07-22 21:40:30 · answer #6 · answered by Brittanie M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you still love him? Can you forgive him? Are you willing to take the chance on him again? Are you happier now than when you were with him? These are questions only you can answer. Go by your feelings and what you want. Not what you think might be right or fair to him. Make a list on one side put all the good things about your relationship with him as it was and on the other side put all the bad. Be honest with yourself then ask yourself what it is YOU want! Best wishes to you it will not be an easy decision not matter what you choose.
2006-07-22 21:25:46 · answer #7 · answered by Badkitty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you mention that you left him and started seeing someone else. No mention of divorce. So you are just as wrong as him, if he is willing to seek counseling and acknowledges how wrong he is for what he did, try and work it out. You did marry for better or worse. I have a friend at church who went through the same thing, it devastated his wife, but she stayed and did not kick him out. They went to counseling both through the church and privately. That was almost 20 years ago and now they run a premarrital program at my church as well as being staffed marriage counselours.
2006-07-22 21:20:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Answer is NO, why he said that he knows what he done was wrong. He knows that he is putting the risk in his marriage to do that and knowing that you divorce and He went with his new woman and seem that didn't work out and he want to have you back. I don't think good idea to having him back.
He put you though hell and Not fair for you to take him back. Me I know that cheating is wrong and I am not going to risk my marriage why, I know we aruge and I know that we have some disagreement didn't mean I am looking for easy way out. No I work so hard to make this marriage work why, that what Marriage is all about to fix and it said sick to health, worst to better. you and I know that what is about. Trust, protect, loving, caring, giver, commucate no matter how much hard times we have we will work it out and make this marriage works.
You know He know that he screw up so bad and putting all the risk and he blew it. My wife said if I ever cheat she will never ever thinking about work it out or anything don't care. I told her how much you trust me? she said my life and 2 children life we put in your hand that how much we trust you and believe that you will work it out and not looking for easy way out the door.
Whoa! so Yes we do have plm before and she though that I was thinking want divorce and stuff and I told her why you think about that we talked about that before stop!!!!!!! so I told her this fine, I loveyou more than anything in the world and The only way it going to end the divorce you have tell me you want divorce. That way you know that I will not even try to do that. If you divorce me and I didn't do anything and you are the bad person I will not be bad person no way I have married you becasue I want to spend my life with and my 2 children.... she cried said I am so sorry honey for saying that now guess what she not worry about anymore and we married for will be 9 years in Oct.
Don't go back becasue once a cheater always a cheater, and also he knew that is wrong... there, if he knew he shouldn't be doing that peroid..... He ask for it and he got what he ask for... oh well tell him, well sorry but you knew what you did was wrong and once it happen it happen can't be fix or for me to come back to you ever again.
2006-07-22 22:29:07 · answer #9 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of him. Kill him or something. He can't just cheat on you and then just want u back is he crazy.He jumped out of the picture left u alone made u feel bad.Then u found someone to make another picture with. And now he wants u back. well it's ur choice do what u want follow ur heart.Pray about it God will help u.
2006-07-22 21:38:49 · answer #10 · answered by Twigi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋