Hi.Say you are passionate about one thing, and you work your entire life for the chance to do it. One day, you are given an great oppurtunity, plus great pay to do something you love. However, this choice is not convient for your significant other. What do you do? take the oppurtunity, and rish losing that person, or stay with that person, and lose your oppurtunity FOREVER, and end up with another job? Which is the best choice for a determined person who wants that person there as well? is this a fair ultimatum?
2006-07-22 14:00:50 · 20 answers · asked by ? 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I did that once. Big mistake. Especially if you're young and just starting out. Time has a way of passing. All of a sudden, you're past your prime and you're thinking, what have I done with my life? You have unique talents. Don't bury them for the sake of "the convenience of a significant other." They have a way of turning into insignificant others while you're not looking.
2006-07-22 14:04:36 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You take the opportunity, if its really true love she wouldn't want you to make any other choice and thats all there is to it. If it is any other way its not 'true' love, it is selfish love and if that person is saying if you take this once in a lifetime opportunity i won't wait for you they are letting you know straight up they don't love you, that is all about control and has nothing whatsoever to do with anything resembling love. Take the opportunity, you will regret it and resent her the rest of your life if you don't so the relationship won't work out anyway and if she can't see that then you are better off without her and the earlier you know that in a relationship the better off you are. if the relationship is strong enough to last anyway it will anyway, but the opportunity gods may never smile on you again. if its real love you can have both if you have to choose something is very wrong. i'm going to be that the only people telling you to go for the love thing are under 40 and have no idea the crap life has coming to them! good luck!
2006-07-22 21:05:41 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk with your sig. other, find out WHY they don't want you to take this opportunity. is it really just an 'inconvienice'? if so then this person is probably not the love of your life. If it is something like moving to another country and they have a valid reason for not wanting to go (like having Their passion where you are now) then you should sit down in a serious discussion and find out what is best for you both and the relationship.
Love takes compremise and communication.
This website has some really helpful things that you and your partner can use to communicate:
http://www.lovingyou.com/
Live, Laugh and Love,
Mandi
2006-07-24 17:25:17 · answer #3 · answered by Mandi of the Pants 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would someone who is your true love expect you to give up something that can better both of you? Don't you think they are being greedy and not taking your sacrifices into consideration? You really need to sit down and talk deeply about this. Your partner should stand next to you thru thick and thin if they really, really love you. otherwise, it really wasn't true love. ask that person, when was it convinient for me, when i was working really hard for this opportunity? convienience has nothing to do with this. nothing is really convinient for anyone. you have to work hard to jiggle a job and a relationship. the ones that survive are the ones that have a close relationship. if that person isn't willing to accept some of the pressures then let them go. this won't be the only time you will need them to stick by you, so you and them need to decide if this will determine how strong your relationship is. Good luck and God be with you on your decision.
2006-07-22 21:19:28 · answer #4 · answered by smart007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did that once, gave up everything for the significant other, we did everything and anything that made her happy.
We talked about plans etc, she okay it and she does the opposite of what we planned on.
I say, talk it over with her and write out the pro and con.
If this is for a better future and security for the TWO of you then maybe she should consider.
If she could only see two inches from her nose, then carry on without her. If you don't, you may blame her in the future, how do you feel about the significant other?
But before all this, BE SURE THAT IT IS FOR FUTURE BENEFITS not just something you want to do for the hell of it.
2006-07-22 21:14:58 · answer #5 · answered by timer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
anyone who truly loves you will want you to be happy, and not give you an ultimatum. do some real thinking. if you are positive that he is your soulmate and that you truly love him, then isn't love worth so much more than any job? you never know what else could be waiting for you in the future, maybe a job you will love even more. but sometimes you have to take a risk, to reap true rewards.
2006-07-22 21:04:52 · answer #6 · answered by sarah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd find a common ground. Your significant other shouldn't want to deny you something that matters so much to you, and having something else that's important to you doesn't mean you love your s/o any less. In my experience, there's always a common ground to use instead of an ultimatum.
2006-07-22 21:03:52 · answer #7 · answered by ghost orchid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I remember beaking up with my ex girlfriend who very caring, sharing, giver, love, trust everything I know taht I wasn't happy becasue I wasn't use to this. I broke up and I married to different woman and knowing that it didn't work out so I left her and I said to my self now this is something I want to fight for having my exgirlfriend back in my life and I did it took me 5 years to have her in my life and I met her again 97 june and married 97 oct and now married for 9 years and have 2 small children I am very happy that I fight what I believe and I have learn the hard way and Glad I did, now I will not divorce her for easy way out. No way, all that 5 years working hard to have her trust me and show that I love her everyday and so I tell my wife now that How lucky for me to have you in my life and my 2 beautiful childrend and I really enjoy them 3 of them every day and I looking forward to last forever and It will becasue we truly love eachother alot.
I now become the best Husband and Father that I couldn't ask for anything more smiling.
Yes I do believe that what ever you beleive in and you got to fight for it and if you don't it will be lost forever will always be stuck in your mind for ever...
2006-07-22 22:48:51 · answer #8 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Love me, love what I'm passionate about."
You must take the opportunity. Your significant other does not love you if there is an objection.
This is the probem Nunez faces with respect to Medina-Sarote. If you decide for your significant other, you have paid dearly for citizenship in H. G. Wells' "the Country of the Blind"
2006-07-22 21:06:51 · answer #9 · answered by urbancoyote 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question does not clearly indicate the significant other has a legitimate complaint to the level of his/her life being indangered, so I can't see any pressing need to stop one's life goals for what might be minor inconveniences.
2006-07-22 21:04:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋