Here's the situation. I'm a military officer that did "the right thing" if you want to call it that. Watch 'Officer and a Gentleman.' You'll understand. After almost three years of a nightmare marriage, we're finally getting a divorce. Each time I visit my son, my wife keeps telling me that she wants to have sex one last time, and that it would be strictly physical. But at the same time she talks about how she still loves me. She also talks about hard it is being a single mom and how she works 12 hours a day. She even showed me the blister on her foot she got from her waitressing job. It's also interesting to note that when we lived together she couldn't wait for term to be over. Now, she's all for me staying in and retiring in twenty years. I don't consider myself a deadbeat dad. I'm actually paying a small bit over the max amount because I felt sorry for her. I'm starting to think I'm just a means to an end. Who thinks she's a golddigger?
2006-07-22 13:58:44 · 18 answers · asked by Thomas K 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i dont think that she is a gold digger i think she is confused and maybe still loves you ... what made the marriage a nightmare?
2006-07-22 14:02:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure to call her a goldigger but maybe loneley and jealous of your career at the time of the marriage and now she realizes what she had and what she wants and now that it might be to late she really thinking she messed up badly. Should you give her another chance comimg from me a woman that is your call. You might give her the chance she wants and it might just go back to the way it was but then again maybe she will keep in her mind what she did before and keep it on the straight and narrow. I dont consider you to be a dead beat dad the military is a good source of work and i highly respect everyone in there and glad they are there for me and my family. My husband is ex military and i am proud of him. So on that note maybe a true heart to heart talk with her and you maybe able to resolve this either way. Together or not togehter but that way you will be able to move on. Working as a waitress has she never worked before or just let you support her. Sounds like to me she has not held down a full time job and needs a lesson in life about work
2006-07-22 21:27:43 · answer #2 · answered by fordsrock_2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"An Officer and a Gentleman" is my favorite movie, so I got your point very clearly. I did the same thing myself, years ago. Now, to answer your question, NO, I don't think she is being a Golddigger. I think she needs the money to help raise your child, is what I think it is. On a side note, I think she is still in love with you, and wants you back. Good Luck, Sir!
2006-07-22 21:07:21 · answer #3 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep paying the money, it 's a wiser investment than paying with your heart, soul, mind, etc. Most likely she'll go her way and you'll go yours, and do your best to keep a connection with your son. Oh, and to answer your question, she's not necessarily a golddigger, she's more likely just a woman who's been raised to believe that this is how a woman goes about survival.
2006-07-22 21:07:29 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think she's a gold digger. i do think that she is extremely confused in what she wants. i'm not exactly sure if she is really still in love with you, but rather scared about her own financial and psychological security. she is probably scared of going into future debt, and is not used to having as much financial freedom as she did when she was with you. again, not a gold digger (otherwise she'd be sucking you dry from child support), just scared if financial security. also petrified of the possibility of being alone for the rest of her life. many people go through this stage at an end of long term relationships. don't you remember what it was like when you lost your first love and thought it was impossible to find love again?
think about it
2006-07-22 23:35:24 · answer #5 · answered by ningkie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course she is a gold digger!!! It was not working....is not working and will never work. Play by the rules and stop "feeling sorry for her." I am sure that she is a "big girl" and if it is too hard for her to be a single mother then she should get a second job and let you have more visitation with the child. Remember....you reap what you sow.
2006-07-22 21:04:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sir-- I am fresshly out of the Army and I can tell you that the longer you stay in the bigger her check from you will be after you retire. As for her being a golddigger I think it is just more she still wants you.
2006-07-22 21:02:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, do you sleep with her? If you do you are helping her create fantasies about you two getting back together and whether you like it or not you both are connected together forever. And you haven't reallly wrote anything that makes me thinks she a gold digger. She's working and you're paying child support. I can see if she wasn't working. It seems she may want to get back with you especially if the sex is good!!!
2006-07-22 21:05:39 · answer #8 · answered by elr212006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she's a gold digger. I think that she just doesn't know what she wants and since you are "familiar" she feels safe and comfortable with that. As far as the money situation goes, don't think about the money going to her, think if it as going to your son.
2006-07-22 21:04:45 · answer #9 · answered by texasmom23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she is a gold digger just a hard working mother who stills love her husband.
2006-07-22 21:07:24 · answer #10 · answered by destinea25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋