i know it's not ok, i don't want this to happen, but i simply cannot get my first love out of my heart and mind, her image keeps appearing before my eyes, and i'm full of regrets about the mistakes that broke us apart... i need her, it's like all my happiness depends on her being in my life; i've decided to fight for her for the rest of my life, no matter what, i know it's unlikely that i will ever succeed, but i'll try.... i gave up on her so many times... that's why i lost her, no more, i will fight till the day i will die, i will fight for that small chance... maybe in 10, 20, 40 years from now something will change and allow us to be together.
2006-07-22 13:16:59 · 25 answers · asked by Daniel D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sometimes we can't get our first love out of our minds because we have this ideal image of the lost love we can't have. We tend to put them on a pedestal. Ask yourself if you really want her or just the memory of her. If you feel that you really want her then go for it. Life is way too short not to have what you truly want.
2006-07-22 13:34:16 · answer #1 · answered by missjessie 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is an exceedingly unfair thing to do to your WIFE. You need to work harder at getting this other woman out of your mind instead of mooning over what may have been. You blew it, but now you made your bed, and your poor wife has to lie in it.
Get a grip. You owe your wife either your full heart, or the truth. There is no need for you to spend your time pining for the fantasy of your "true love', instead of facing the reality of your marriage. Marriage is hard work, and you need to at least try to break a sweat and make it work. Fantasy is always prettier than reality, all you are doing is thinking, "If I had the perfect relationship, then I would be happy". Well, that's just not true. There is no perfect relationship.
2006-07-22 13:25:11 · answer #2 · answered by Bartmooby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you have a good heart. Honestly nobody can tell you what is right for you. If you have feelings for someone other than your wife you need to seek professional advice. It's not fair to you or anyone else.. Everyone including you deserves happiness. Honestly people sometimes long for something and then when they get it they still are not happy. I would step back and ask for help. You need to find your true self and love yourself first then sort out emotions for others. I will pray for you. Just remember God gives us no more than we can handle!!
2006-07-22 13:40:28 · answer #3 · answered by jagaja131 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well friend....it's amazing the decisions God allows us the make, then live with. First, you need to face the reality of your life. You made a commitment to your wife to be married. You need to stop obsessing over the other gal. It's over. It's in the past, where you need to leave it. You might not get over her, but you can certainly get "thru it"...one day at a time.
You would be awe struck w/ how your life would be changed (for the better...little at a time) if you took time each day to bow your head in prayer to our Lord, and ask for the stregnth to stay focused on the things set before you...and ask him for a burning desire for you wife like you have never had before....and He is faithful to His word! Pray to Him & confess your weaknesses and your struggles, then praise Him for the day you're in...and walk in that day doing your best...You can't successfully live in obsession friend...it's no way for anybody to live...You can do it! Best of everything to you....
2006-07-22 13:25:41 · answer #4 · answered by diane b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a grip! Hey there were reasons that you split up with this "first love". Are the reasons still there? Has anything changed? What has caused you to think about her when you're married to someone else? You'll need to work hard emotionally to just move on. Fact is if you don't you'll end up with neither one, having a pity party.
2006-07-22 13:55:48 · answer #5 · answered by trainer53 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off, don't you think you need to be honest about this with your wife? i mean, if you're longing for another woman to the point that you claim, then there is something very wrong with your current relationship. maybe some marriage counseling and/or a therapist will help you. have you talked to your 'first love' lately? does she know how you feel? i really would suggest being honest and open and considering getting some professional therapy to hopefully salvage your marriage, and if not, to help you either reunite or move on. good luck! :-)
2006-07-22 13:20:27 · answer #6 · answered by cola2sweet4words 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you cant get her out of your system why marry another woman in the first place? you jsut made your life complicated by marrying another woman and yet love another. you should have weigh things first and listen to your heart before you plunge into marriage. if you have thought of fighting for her when you're free and she's too, then it could be easier for the two of you. the thing is some things are not meant to happen. if that's the case, then dont you think its quite to late for you to take the 'knight int he shining armor' thing. maybe its more of guilt for you for doing things to her that she didnt deserve, for giving up on her. maybe she's happy with her marriage now, so if you really love her, jsut let go. dont make her life complicated. she deserves someone who wills tand by her side and wont give up on her. let go and move on with your wife. who knows maybe, big if andbig maybe, if its meant to happen, it will..but right now, live with what you have and be happy with it or her. am sorry about the love lost, its not easy to deal with, i know but then things happen for a reason, so, let go if you really love her :)
2006-07-22 13:45:31 · answer #7 · answered by just me:) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over it; move on with your life.
By the way, you're being unfaithful to your wife. If you're anticipating some future without her, divorce that poor woman immediately and give her a chance to have a real future with someone who actually gives a damn about her.
Doing anything else would be selfish and cruel. Be a true man, be a husband to your wife, and stop thinking only about yourself and your lovelorn past.
2006-07-22 13:22:29 · answer #8 · answered by jasonrene322 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have gotten married if you knew you were still in love with your first love. Now either way it goes you somebody will get hurt. It's just a chance you'll have to take I know you still love your first love but you will never stop loving her. If your willing to mess up everything you have then go after her but it seems like you want to so I would go and pursue her. I just feel so sorry for your wife.
2006-07-22 13:25:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, and you're going to ruin the lives of about 3 other people in the process.
I'm sure you feel like a tragic hero in a romance movie, but it sounds more like you need some therapy to cure you of being so obsessive in your thoughts.
If you're married then you need to stand by your wife and treat her as well as you would your first love.
2006-07-22 13:21:16 · answer #10 · answered by Talamascaa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋