Why is it that so many people are prejudice about someone who is overweight? Not obese, but heavy?

Question

I have tried the dating websites as suggested by people. I have met nice people right here at "answers." We IM and get along great until I send a picture. Yes, I am overweight. I tell them up front so it should not be a surprise. I am 5'6" and am 50 lbs over the "ideal" not maximum recommended weight for my height. I have lost a bit and am still losing. It is just taking a while. I believe in honesty in any relationship and won't lie about my size. Why is it that no one corresponds after they hear this?

Answer 1

I'd like to respons to the few prople who stated that"attractive people dont like overweight people" and also the the ones that said "men are naturally attracted to thinner girls because thinner girls make them think about sex...blah blah blah...and you dont have to sneak her out in the morning."!!! GROW THE F UP!!! What makes alll you people think that YOU have the power, insight or even the mental capabilities to judge others due to ONLY THEIR WEIGHT??? This is the most ridiculous thing i have heard in a long long time. And those statements are NOT true...because if they were...no overweight women would be married, or dating or anything...and guess what...WE ARE!! And, soon all you people who think thin is in will see that its not, because us heavy people are getting more popular...hey who knows maybe one day you will join us. but until then, continue living your sorry little lives thinking that, and one day you will realize that there is more to a relationship, and sex, then the number that is on the scale. Heavy women can be JUST as sexy as thin women. There is NO right or wrong...we were all created differently, and thats the way GOD intended it to be. All this comming from a heavy woman who is proud to be heavy, because my husband loves me for me, and is not shallow, and ignorant like you. So girl, keep trying, and dont listen to these morons because you are beautiful, no matter what the outside looks like because you have the guts to keep trying, that shows a lot about your character. Dont get down on yourself, give it time and when the time is right, it will happen. Take it from us bigger gals...we're allll here for you girl!!! Thanks

Answer 2

Because our society is set up that way. People are more impressed by physical assets than any thing else.
I always laugh when I read the question, 'What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?' And you hear, their eyes, their smile, their personality. How shallow can people get! What liars!
But the truth is that looking on the Internet isn't always the right place. Get interested in a co-ed sport and join a group. I'm not one for religion, but if that's your bag join a singles group at a church
You never know, maybe you have passed up some really great guys because you were prejudiced against their looks, or didn't take the time to really know them.
Take heart and don't give up, there's someone out there for you!

And Heavenly Hot is more than likely not so hot in person!

Answer 3

I think guys are looking for the "ideal woman" which would be a really cute, skinny girl. That's why trying to find someone to date online isn't a good idea. I think sometimes men come to online dating sites to find an "awesome chick", not an average one, or even one with flaws. If they wanted an average woman, they'd be out in the real world looking for them, not here online. When you're online you can just type in your criteria, contact people, see what they look like and if you don't like them then move on to the next one. You can't really do that in real life.
My suggestion to you is to not use the internet to find someone to date. And if you do, then just put your picture up and put in your profile that you are losing weight. That way they know when they look at your profile and only the ones who really want to get to know you better will respond.
And yes, I feel your pain. I'm not fat either but a little chubby. Just take pride in who you are and be proud of yourself for losing the weight you already have lost. Confidence makes anyone pretty.

Answer 4

People are totally narrow minded. What is so sad is that there is more prejudism against people that are overweight than against any other type of person. In one study, children were able to choose on child to exclude from a group of a mean child, a child with disabilities, children from a few minority groups, and a fat child. The hypothesis was that the mean child would be excluded, but it was the fat child that no one wanted to play with. We are teaching our children not to look at someones heart, but to judge by this stereotypical norm. And we wonder why girls turn to anorexia....

Please decide to love you, no matter what you look like. A guy that would not want to meet you on the basis that you are a little overweight does not deserve you. In time, a wonderful guy will come your way. If you decide to loose weight, do it for health reasons, not to earn the approval of simple minded people. You will find someone who will appreciate your real beauty. :)

Answer 5

I think it has to do with the wisdom of the men you seek..deep yes but really. I would say that allot of men are out for a trophy in the beginning of any relationship. Physical sexual attraction is paramount over personality. Yet why would it matter if these types of men don't find you attractive, and I'm not saying it does bother you. Yet there are just a few men that are wise enough to realize that personality and character, and moral standing. Matter more, and they also realize that looks get you so far, and finding a real friend that they can share there life with is more important. Also if you do not find contentment and love for yourself. It is unlikely you will find someone else that thinks the same of you...

Answer 6

I feel that computer dating/chatting/im'ing is all superficial anyway. Men want to experience a fantasy, not the true person anyway. I truly, truly believe that beauty comes from within and I know that from experience. I'm 45 yrs. old, and have been through the young, thin and beautiful stage. Now I'm 175 lbs. and still consider myself pretty, but my inner beauty has gotten me where I'm at. Consider giving up the hope of meeting prince charming on the computer, get involved in your local church/or singles scene and let someone meet the real you. And if you pray for Mr. Right, he'll come right into your life when you are least expecting it! Good luck!

Answer 7

Hi, I too have been on websites. Yes, I have gained 50 pounds, but I am 5'10" but still heavy. I am upfront, warn them that I am not a twiggy, but a very intelligent, sexual person, if I am upfront and honest, then you will meet the right one. Been on the web site when I was at my ideal weight, but one thing I do admire, and you have to admit, a person who takes care of their bodies should be admired for all the hard work and sweat to get there. Been there, done that...anyway, hope it helps, BE UPFRONT

Answer 8

know this
even if you lost a little more weight and got to an acceptable weight, most women after marriage gain alot of weight, as once they feel like they are secure, they let themselves go, men know this and thus try to avoid such women. the smarter guy often looks to the mother to see how big the potential candidate may get and react accordingly, i have met few overweigh women who did not carry some sort of baggage ( most of it combative ) due to the weight issue, they fact that some think it's ok to be fat suggest a defeatest attitude, very much like those who want ot legalize drugs, simply because there is much abuse if it out there.

Answer 9

its all about confidence! If you carry yourself like you are the shittttttt, then people will like you for you and not your weight. If you are dealing with people that are judging you on your weight that you need to stop dealing with shallow people. I would not suggest meeting someone online. Try library, jazz clubs somewhere there are a group of intelligent people. I am a large girl 5 7'' 215lbs and have never ever had a problem! gl

Answer 10

It may be hard to meet someone online, because people do tend to be very superficial. Try making connections with people in real life, which will develop out of true attraction and interest. Once someone gets to know you and how wonderful you are, the physical part won't be an issue. As long as you're confident and think of yourself as beautiful.