has treated you like **** for oh...about 25 years??? When all you did all that time was suck up to them; and now you've "had it' and feel true anger toward all of them. Now, husband worried because I've had it and NOW after all these years, is sorry. PLEASE TELL ME... I'M A MESS. I am angry and it's built up for SO freakin long, I can't take it anymore. I've wanted to run away for soooo long but I have a son who loves us both and is almost 18 and I feel he will hate me if I leave his father and that would KILL me. I don't know what to do anymore.
2006-07-22 12:25:22 · 18 answers · asked by butterfliesRfree 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You don't need your inlaws and if your husband knows how they treat you that's the first problem. Tell your husband you have had enough of his family and he will have to deal with them. So if your husband truly loves you he will tell his family to back off and leave you alone. I wouldn't have put up that kind of treatment for as long as you have. Put your foot down and make life happy for you and your family. Be strong and good luck.
2006-07-22 12:53:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have some great inlaws.. however if I didnt .. I guess I would try to avoid the inlaws family scenes (Thanksgiving, xmas. and other family events) that included them. I would just bow out and stay home. Let the husband and the son go and you take some time for some ME time and chill out.. read a book or something that you want to do for you. During events that require them to be at your house.. if they want to treat you badly.. I would simply say something to this nature. "I know and have known for quite a while that you dislike me for whatever reason.. however this is my house and you WILL treat me with respect while you are in this house. If you cannot do this.. then here is the door. I am sure they would be suprised and it may take them down a notch or two and at least make them see how this is affecting you. You did not say what your husband does or says during this treatment you are describing. If he didnt have the BAdoubleLS to at least stand up for you during these episodes. then he is as much guilty as they are. PS.. You need to find a happy medium here.. if its leaving the husband.. you son surely sees how you are getting treated, I would think at 18 he would adjust or at least understand. Good Luck.
2006-07-22 19:42:02 · answer #2 · answered by Peanut Butter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost you need to let your husband, in a rational and calm manner, know just exactly how you feel and how long you have felt that way... we are each allowed to have our own emotions and opinions in this life.. just because you don't like his family is not a reflection on him... and if he can't understand that then he has some serious soul searching to accomplish. I think maybe after the two of you talk... not argue or fight, but talk... I think maybe a separation would let the both of you find some inner peace from the turmoil of daily togetherness and let you think with a more reasoned and saner process. I would also suggest going to a counselor or clergy member ... a neutral third party is a perfect way to hash out some of our issues.... and alot of times when we are forced to admit our desires and needs in front of another person, we can more fully grasp the importance or implausibility of them.... I wish you all the best and hope you find some peace in the very near future, Shalom.
2006-07-22 19:36:40 · answer #3 · answered by julianna76301 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your problem is with in laws, then just simply limit your exposure to them. If your husband isn't willing to stand up for you and go to his family and tell them to treat you with the respect that you deserve (a tall order since it's been going on for 25 years), and you don't want to leave him, then I'm afraid you're stuck between a rock and a hard place. Tell your husband you want nothing more to do with his family.
You might also need family counseling, a good therapist can help you get over some of the anger.
2006-07-22 19:45:06 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There comes a time when you get to the point of no return and you are totally done with the BS. If you can leave your husband without a tear in your eye....well then its time you hold your head high and walk ....its the same old story they never know what they had until your gone. I think you and your son should talk openly about your pain and I am sure he will be upset at first but he will come around. Bottom line life is toooooooo short to be unhappy.
2006-07-22 19:36:00 · answer #5 · answered by italianbadgirl_giah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why in the world would you take that kind of crap from his family to begin with? Don't you know........you are important too and deserve respect? I would talk it over with the husband first and see if he can see things from your perspective. If not, maybe it's time for you to move on. As for your son, he'll be just fine. At first he may or may not resent you, but it will pass. He's going to go off and live a life of his own soon. Start worrying about YOU for a change!!! Don't you think it's about time????
2006-07-22 19:45:29 · answer #6 · answered by oklahoma_whistle_britches 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, so don't get a divorce. Tell Hubby to talk to his family and let them know that if anyone of them hurts you again he is finished with the family. It's time for him to take a stand. He is either for you or against you. What he does will give you an indication of what future you still have.
2006-07-22 19:37:40 · answer #7 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the next time the family is over for dinner or a holiday and you see them acting stink or crappy towards you you say hold up this is my house and i demand respect in here and outside of this house no more will you or any other of your family members treat me like crap im putting my foot down its been going on for way to long and whoever dont like it can go come and never return aas for your son he should understand he is 18 and if he has been a witness to how they treat you he shouldnt hold it against you
2006-07-22 20:30:46 · answer #8 · answered by teresa d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL ur leaving your marriage because of your inlaws????? omg, what a lame excuse to leave your husband lol.. If u dont like them, dont go around them.. Your child is almost 18 u did the lets get along for his sake with the inlaws, so now dont go see them, if ur hubby wants to go fine, thats his family but dont go , tell your husband that u've had it and they are no longer welcome in your house and if he cant understand that tuff u should be able to feel secure and at ease in your own home, ur not saying he cant see his family , ur just saying they arent welcome in ur house anymore u've tried for 25 years and enough is enough of trying.. but DONT GIVE UP YOUR HUSBAND because of that.. thats retarded, u married him not his family..
2006-07-22 19:37:24 · answer #9 · answered by preciosa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, we moved across the country and that has worked pretty good. We only have to deal with them about once a year and a phone call now and then. It might sound extreme, but it was the best solution for us.
2006-07-22 19:28:34 · answer #10 · answered by avonez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋