Is it fair that my significant other's ex is suddenly asking for back child support plus a lot more?

Question

She told him years ago she didn't want it. He makes $25 000/year and she makes about $100 000 plus she has dated a millionaire for the last 10 years. They are building a real big house together. She already had a nice one and sold it. I think they are going to get married. Ever since my bf and I moved in together she said she didn't want his money. Now after 3 years she wants it all plus $600/month. He has no way of paying anything to her because we both live paycheck-to-paycheck. We don't even own our home, we rent. What is fair in this situation?

To Dappersmom....my bf and his ex were married and wanted kids. At that time my bf had a successful business and she worked for him. Then she went to work at a bar and her boss is the one she has been dating ever since they broke up. My bf lost his business - it went bankrupt. His ex now owns the bar she worked at thanks to her bf's money. Noone plans to get married, have kids, get divorced and lose the ability to pay for them. So stop thinking it is his fault for not using birth control. Sheeesh.

Answer 1

no it isnt fair i'm facing a similiar situation with my boyfriend. there in no millionaire or rich ex involved, by his childrens' mother has all of a sudden started getting back child support. my boyfriend only makes about 25,ooo a year too. it's crazy. we are suffering because it is coming directly out of his check. the crazy part is she hasnt seen the girls in over 5 years. they have been living with my boyfriend. not even one visit. how crazy is that?

Answer 2

Sorry but if he couldn't afford to support a kid he shouldn't have had any, thats called common sense. He is absolutely responsible for supporting his kids regardless of who she dates (they aren't his kids and therefore it isn't his problem) or how much she makes. Let the courts decide how much she gets. Sorry but this is the way it goes when you date a guy with baggage and kids. Why would you think a guy can just go around making babies and not have to contribute to the costs of raising them? Did you know that in the first year alone a single kid costs between $10 and $22 thousand dollars??? yet you think that she should be solely responsible for that because she got off her butt and made something of herself and he didn't? How would you feel if you were left to care for a kid that you didn't make alone on your own? I think you would suddenly have a whole different perspective on the situation. If you play the fiddle you gotta dance, and your bf has done some fiddling so he better start dancing a little bit quicker...don't worry though its only 18 LONG LONG years. Birth control is a wonderful thing isn't it?

Answer 3

Its not fair that you think just because she makes more money than him that he should not provide for his child. Its not fair that you are upset that she dates a millionaire. He is not the child father and is therefore not responsible for it. You can not knock her hustle. If she is making that much money then she must have gone to school and /or got in on a wonderful opportunity. Not to many millionares would deal with a female for 10 years that did not have her head on straight.
As far as the child support, most states no longer allow claims for back support. It starts on the dated that you filed instead of the date of abandonment. And the money that would be due to her is usually based on a percentage of your bf's salary. Check you local states law.

Answer 4

Fair is him being accountable for having children.. i dont care if its a man or a woman that has custody i dont care if the custodial parent is a millionaire and the other one is a bum.. The fact remains that you had children and u need to be accountable for them and that means helping with the financial asspect of the relationship.. IT DOESNT MATTER if she marrys a guy with money.. Although i hope he will be a good step father to the children they are not his financial responsibility, they are your bf's financial responsibility.. and im sorry if your bf needs to work 2 jobs to pay her support so be it, and if u dont like it TUFF! you got with him knowing he has children and this is what happens when a man has children.. he has to be RESPONSIBLE for them and i dont care if she didnt want the child support, she does now and he is responsible for paying it.. So buck up, and tell him to be a man and start paying his share to the well being of the kids, and you stop actting as if u have any say in this, because u dont, this is between him and his x wife, it has zero concern with u .. if u dont like it, ur not married to him so go on your way.. but he has responsibilities to the kids , and his child support should be paid , before his own rent, his own elec. his own groceries.. they should come first in that aspect..

Answer 5

Unfortunately, your boyfriend will have to go through the court system to get this resolved. Both parents are responsible for supporting the child based on set formulas established by each state. The court takes into consideration the income of both parties, and any additional assets. Try not to get yourself too enraged by the inequities in the system; it will be over when the child turns 18 (depending which state you live in).

Answer 6

Is it fair, no. Is it legal, yes. She can go to court and get the back child support. Same goes for guys that have a one night stand only to find out years later that a child was conceived. They have to pay back child support as well even though they went years and didn't know a child existed.

Answer 7

sometimes ex-wives are too evil to comprehend. either she is revengeful or greedy or both. it depends on what was the agreement when they got divorce, he should have it in black and white to avoid this reparation.

plus it depends on what state she lives in with their children, the government takes the mother side no matter how much she makes and whom she dated. you guys should go to court. then the court or judge will appoint how much is the total support for the children up to 18 years old, on monthly basis, depend on your other half's income, she cannot get the back support since she did not file the paperwork and its not your other half's fault that he makes decent income. the judge will look into your other half's situation and decide what is the best for all.

good luck on your findings and hope you get fair assessment on the whole case.

Answer 8

It sure is fair. If she has custody of the child and is primarily supporting the child. I don't know the events leading up to their break up but regardless he should have to pay. It is his kid and why should he not help support the kid. What she tells him don't mean anything. Unless it is agreed upon in court and signed off by the judge. I don't think any judge would give her $600 a month off of $25K a year. If he owes rearages and she decides to pursue collecting them then your b/f will be in a little bit of trouble. He won't be able to renew his license, registration, and ultimately they will garnish his wages. My advice to you would be to get a new b/f that can support his children.

Answer 9

Sorry, believe it or not it's fair. Those are his children. It does sound though like she just wants to hurt him so more. If your boy friend only makes $25,000 a year, $600 a month sounds like a lot.
Consider having the children come live with you if they are old enough to make that decision and would want to.

Answer 10

Is there any legal grounds for this? I mean was there some official agreement between the two of them voiding child support, or did she just say that to him? If it's not in writing, it doesn't really matter what's fair; he's still screwed.