What Should I do?

Question

I have been with a man for 1 1/2 years and everything was good until my 5yr old boy came to live with us. i have a 2yr. old daughter who calls him daddy cause her father didnt want nothing to do with her. both kids from same dad, anyway. we fight, every time we fight its about money and my son and i feel like i have to ask to do anything, mind you I am 24yrs.old. He accepts my daughter, but he doesnt have the same feelings about my son. I love him but am starting to feel anger towards him. everything is about money to him. I have been looking for a job that seems like forever and no one will hire me because i have no expierence with anything. i was a stay at home mom for 7 yrs. I dont know what to do. Please help.

Answer 1

Womanly advice honey. I say if I man can't accept me and my children than he needs to get to stepping. No matter how much we are in love. Why can he accept your daughter but not your son. Now if your son reminds him of the other man than he can be taking anger out on you and your son for that reason. Maybe he doesn't like your ex for leaving your children. Just pray and ask the Lord to help you find a job that's right for you. Girl he comes through all the time.

Answer 2

My heart really goes out to you b/c right now, even though I just graduated from college, I'm in the same boat. However, I use to be with a man that didn't really accept my son. My answer to you is get out. You may think you can't do it w/o him or you love him. But that love should go to your children. Your son didn't ask to be here, and now that he's here, he shouldn't have to go anywhere whether there's enough money or not. If he can accept your daughter, then he can accept your son. If you don't take control now, things will not get any better.

Never let a man put you down for nothing! You have two beautiful children who needs you. He don't need you, b/c if he did, you wouldn't have to choose.

So lady take my advice and call on The LORD. HE's always there. How I know? I've tried HIM in the mist of all my storms and right now.....HE's the only friend I have. I don't know if you have family that will help you. In my case, I have family but my mom died before I made a month old. And HE's been the momma that I've always wanted. HE listens and HE comforts me better than any man/or this world could do. If a man comes along, he better be everything b/c can't nobody do you like The LORD.

Answer 3

It sounds like you are going to have to choose your son or this man. Your son might only be five but children feel the resentment towards them. It will only get worse as time goes on. I would start by looking for another place to live, wether it was with family or by signing up for housing and food stamps or some kind of welfare assistance and then get into school and get some kind of certificate or degree. Federal Aid will also help with education. You are not going to be able to find much of anything for work that can support you and 2 children. You will take some time and work but the rewards of being able to support your children and not have to answer to anyone else, especially a man you are dependant on, will be greater in the long run. No man is worth the self esteem and self worth of any child.

Answer 4

My story is very much like yours. The difference is that I am now 37 and my children are 18 and 13. I was married the the father of my kids. He was like your boyfriend it sounds. We ended up divorcing. It was agreed that that was best after talking over everything. I wouldn't have been able to leave if it wasn't for a question my Grandma asked me one day. Here it is. "What sort of a marriage do you want your kids to see and have when they grow up? one like your grandpa and I have or one like you and your husband?" Well, the answer came to me right away, and I saw just how right she was. I have now been divorced 5 years. I was also a stay at home mom for most of my married life. I began back where most start. By entering the world of fast food. With the age I was, I was able to work times that the high school teens aren't. Then quickly trained my way up into management. About that time I had troubles with my kids and had to change careers. I am now a factory worker. I go into work just before my youngest goes off to school. and I'm home before he is. This all works well. I get to see he is ready for school with a good breakfast and I'm there to greet him when he returns after. So there are 2 options as far as the job thing goes. The matters of your heart are the hardest. I wish you luck in those. I hope my story helped.

Answer 5

It sounds like my life.He can't except one and not the other.I'll tell you how to do it.Do what ever it takes to get a job.remember your a mom!! no matter how long it takes.Don't give up. Get the money get your rear out.When your out tell him it's all 3 of you or none of us.Your boy is probably felling the effects of it. trust me.They go through lots of stress even at that age. He is going to grow up felling as if noone cares.If you stay and continues than you chose some dude over your own son and two he will Hate his sis.Is a guy worth turning your children against each other and is he worth all the future problems?And is 1 or 2 yers with a guy worth your own flesh and blood? Think very hard and pray like you never had. The answer will come in it's own time but you won't miss it.

Answer 6

You can try talking to him, but it sounds like you've probably already been down that road. I'm not sure you have much choice but to dump the guy. Fighting about money is bad but fairly common, however his behavior towards your son is absolutely unacceptable. Your kids are a huge part of your life, if he can't accept that then your relationship will never work.

As for your job problem, have you tried applying at daycare facilities? You *do* have experience with kids and many such places love to hire young people since they are easier to train. You might even be able to find a place that will help you get certified as a teacher, plus you can take your kids to work with you.

Answer 7

Lord, woman, you're in a bad situation. Go to social services and see if there are any programs you can get into that will train you in any particular trade. There are alot of them around. Some even will give you child care and gas money. You need to get yourself and your kids out of this situation before bf does something to harm the little boy. He feels jealous because the kid is another man's son. See a social worker too for all the help they can recomment. You don't want to put this cheap s.o.B. ahead of your children. You don't need that. Work on self esteem and building a home for yourself without a man...and get your child support for those kids too! god bless.

Answer 8

Is he able to tell you how he feels differently about your boy as compared to the girl? A five year old boy is likely to be old enough to know dad gum good and well he ain't my dad and by gum he ought to be and express resentment toward your guy. They can be real pistols!! He'll need some counseling would be my bet with you and your guy too. You're between a rock and a hard place. If he's the only breadwinner, I can see why he'd be uptight about money.

Answer 9

that's a ruff one . If hes a man he should start a relationship with ya son .. i know i would have fun .. regardless who who's his real father ,, and you .. just keep trying to get any type of work .. if you home all day .. baby sit another child these places get over 200 a week to watch kids ,, Most couples in the USA fight about money .. number 1 ..

Answer 10

Make plans. Keep looking for a job, you'll eventually find one. Boot that man out the door, he's got issues with your kids and you should never ever tolerate that from anyone. He'll find out there are certain things in life that money cannot buy or keep.