I need an opinion of a married man / woman ... pref some of each.?

Question

I have been debating putting this on here for a few days... I am just gonna do it.
I have been dating someone for 4 months now. Which i know isnt a very long time for a long term. I have had 1 serious relationship before where marrige was talked about. This time, I feel as though its perfect. We dont live together, but when i sleep next to him i fall asleep in his arms thinking how much i love him, and everyday i wake up with a smile and think ... i wish i could do this every day. we get along great, havent had a argument yet. Disagreements on certain topics yes, but we usually respect others opinoins. ANYWAYS , MY question is "is it wrong for me to imagine and long to be his wife? wanting to be his wife and mother of his children." of course i'mnot ready for all of those things to happen right this second, but what do you think? I'm scared that one day my emotions will explode and i will just blurt out " i want to marry you" before he gets a chance to propose. i'm 24 hes 26

WOW! I am so glad I decided to ask this question...
these are his actions towards me / our future. We know each others finanical status (money saved and current debts) When we talk about the future, either of us will say "when i have kids one day I want to have 2" or "when i get married".. and so on. Also, hes constucting a house right now, he rushed over to show me the house plans, and he wont buy ANYTHING important with out asking me or showing me first, and he always ask my opinoin on it. He tells me he loves me, but not every single day (which i think is healthy) one of his friends did tell me in a drunken stooper "he thinks you might be the one, but hes just waiting" ... well i'm pretty we share similar feelings, maybe i think mine are more intense because I am the one feeling them . Either way, I trully appreciate eveyones opinoin. I know that its normal to feel this way, i feel like i can take it easy for a few more months and exhale. Like a weight has been lifted . THANKS!

Answer 1

No, those feelings are fine. Just don't explode on the poor man.

*** DOUBLE STANDARD ALERT ***
Hey, wait a minute. If a man were to ask the exact same question, I would have said, "Man, you sound needy. Better be careful because that could chase your lady away."

The only thing I would want is to see what he is like when he loses his cool. You're in the super lovey-dovey section of your relationship and so your perception is out-of-whack. Talk to a few of his buddies and ask them what it's like when he loses his cool.

Be happy - don't over-analyze.

Answer 2

Sounds like love to me! You're dreaming what most young women dream when they find the "right" man. I think 4 months would give you a clue if you're on the right track with this guy. Ask yourself: Has he said "I love you"? Has he mentioned children or a future with you? Is he exclusively dating you (no women on the side)? Who does he live with and why? You guys are old enough to have a talk about the next step of your relationship. Where is all of this going? I think I'd wait for the 6 month mark and then approach the subject if it doesn't happen naturally. I mean, your goals and his goals should be very close. I'm sure this is not something you want to talk about in bed; but maybe at an intimate dinner. Good luck to you both.

Answer 3

Sometimes we just instinctively know when we have found the perfect partner for us. Try to bring up the subject of the future, ask him about what he sees in his future, does he want a wife and children? It is very nice that you haven't argued yet, but that will happen even in the best of relationships. My parents were happily (for the most part-they were human after all) for 55 years and my in-laws were very happily married for close to 50 years, before death parted them. You are still in the "honeymoon" stage of the relationship...wait until you have a few disagreements, and then start the "future" discussions. Wait until you have both have a few stressful work days in a row, or not enough sleep, and especially wait until you've gone through the "flu" together or separate as the case may be....if you still feel you are perfect for each other....then blurt it out!!!! Best of luck to you both!!!

Answer 4

It takes at least 6 months to a year to really get to know someone. I have been down the road you are on right now. I knew my first husband for only 4 months telling myself this is the man I want to marry & have children with. He was kind ,caring, etc. I loved being around him & doing things together. Only to find out after marriage that he was very abusive. I had three children with him & stayed in the marriage for four years hoping he would change. This is just to let you know that not all people are who they really portray themselves to be at first. Just take it slow. If you two are meant to be together then why rush it? If you love each that much than there's no reason for marriage this soon. You have the rest of your lives. You don't need a ring on your finger to tell you that you are loved/ in love. You are still young and probably have a little fear of being alone too. I'm just telling you not to rush. If things are meant to be then they'll be.

Answer 5

Girl I say when you know you know,If I could buy that magical feeling that you are talking about when you cant wait to see each other,or talk on the phone or any time you are separated when you see the person its just the best feeling in the world.You want to lock yourselves up in a bubble and stay there forever.Now,on his side he might be starting to be thinking about all this all ready and have some stuff going on behind the scenes.Let nature take its course honey if you pressure him too much he will either push you away emotionally or break the relationship.Let Love Happen.!!

Answer 6

This sounds like a wonderful beginning to a relationship. Just relax and enjoy it. Time will tell if this is the right person. There is nothing wrong with imagining yourself as his wife and hoping to be able to do this for the rest of your life. But it's just the beginning. If it is meant to be, it will be. But for now, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. This is a wonderful feeling. Remember not to smother him now. You both need some space too. If you are always with eachother, that gets tiring after a while. So make sure you spend time apart also. Have fun, and good luck.

Answer 7

It's healthy to dream, just don't smother him or scare the devil out of him by blurting it out when the relationship is so young. To marry is something entirely different than waking up elated. It's hard work and there's a heck of a lot you need to discover about one another before you take the big leap. Control yourself and be patient. If it's meant to be it will still be great a few years from now and that's the real test. Don't plan a wedding with the intent if it doesn't work out I'll just divorce.

Answer 8

No it's not wrong to feel that way. 4 mos is enough time to get to know someone that well.

But you are right, not knowing what feelings you get from him, it is probley good to take a deep breath before you do blurt something out and scare him if he is not ready.

Sounds like you both are at a good age to try a full fledge relationship, but there is no need to hurry. Enjoy what you have now and take it day by day. Love isn't good when it's rushed.

Answer 9

Sometimes you just know this person is who you're meant to be with forever. But the reason not to rush into anything permanent is you really need to get to know each of much better than you do now. Four months is not very long at all....take at least 6 more months before you call this deal sealed. Take your time you will not regret it.

I knew the moment I saw my husband I was going to marry him...we waited 3 years before we got married ...we've been married and happy for almost 30 years now.

Answer 10

It sounds like things are going great between U2. Be patient and wait for the right time to bring up marriage and living together. Maybe , talk about a friend getting hitched or your sister ,cousin, moving in with her boyfriend. He might share what he thinks about these subjects. Good luck!