my husband read my journal of personal thoughts, and turned into a really mean person towards me. i am more hurt that he read my thoughts of what i was feeling at "that moment" it had not meaning to it, it is my way of venting without arguing, am i wrong for that? he used the five months that "things have not felt right" to try and hate me. not to mention joining dating sites too. i am just hurt what should i do, i wonder if my marriage is over although i am making a effort to forgive, and he says its forgotten,but how, when he made me feel like sh*^ for motnhs,?
2006-07-22 10:14:56 · 11 answers · asked by zen4steve 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
what is wrong with me writing down possible hurtful feeling, instead if starting a argument or fight? if it allows me to vent and let it go what is the probablem?trust yes i once did trust my husband would "not" invade my personal thoughts, we got married, I did not marry a person to me my twin. when we did argue, it upset me so bad I had a light stroke.
2006-07-23 21:42:19 · update #1
your husband was very wrong for reading your journal and he should be the one apologizing. marriage is also very complicated itself. i think that if you cant trust him then you guys have problems. i wouldnt stay in a marriage that i am not happy in because its a waste of time. trust me i was married for six years and i went through exactly what you went through only difference when i got a divorce my husband stole my journals and used my own thoughts against me in court.
2006-07-22 10:25:09 · answer #1 · answered by sweetness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I answered the same type of question weeks ago and this is what I said....
If your man has read your Journal, first of all he really should not have read it.
If you have wrote thoughts in the Journal about going to a dating service THIS IS A BIG WARNING FLAG both for you and for him.
Lets start with you: You need to be happy this should be your # 1 ppriority. You need a break from this relationship your in. You are not getting out of this relationship what you need because your not compleate. you use this example-when a gorilla wants a female gorilla they bang on there chest as loud and as hard as they can to show the girl he has what it takes to protect her.
In some cases, it is just a game. I believe if the man is tough only when necessary he is not putting on a show. If the man buys you flowers, he is sweet. If opens the car door for you he is a gentleman. If he has a dependable car, he is responsible. If he has a good job he is hardworking and disciplined, If has been on his current job for more than 2 years he is focused, if he calls you after the date and said he had a great time and do you think we can do it again some day he is comfortable with you. This is worth keeping... Just remember living together changes things sharing checking account's make it challenging and going on a long well planned road trip (only if u have a good cell phone and someone knows where your going and that you will stay in touch) a road trip is a great started to a long term commitment for the future... The theory here is if you can get a long real well dating, and think you would like to take it to the next level, than a car ride for about 6-8 hours you will inevitably start to really know one another. You need to make sure you are going to do something that you both like (activities).... This will be the man for you stick it out it takes work. communicate this...
FOR Him he is threatened by what he reads. He is insecure with his feelings for you this hurts him. I feel you need to understand his feelings and this is what may need to happen. If you think he wants to change his ways and make you the # 1 thing in his life it is worth it. He needs to sit down with you and discuss what it is each of you need from the relationship. If he thinks he can deliver what you want then you need to look at his misfortunes and see if you can fix his insecurities.
This is my advise I hope it is helpfull.
2006-07-22 10:43:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so sad.
You obviously trusted him enough not to trespass on your private journal. But he has betrayed that trust.
You you have also betrayed a trust by using your diary to ven your problems instead of trusting your husband with your feelings.
I am not surprised you both feel very hurt by what has happened. How would you have felt if you had read that your husband 'didn't feel right' about your marriage - or found out that he had discussed it with a friend.
This will sound harsh but I think your marriage has been in trouble for some time. Consider counselling to help open up those lines of communication. Or try the book 'relationship rescue' - its saved my relationship - perhaps it can help yours too.
2006-07-23 04:41:58 · answer #3 · answered by Leapling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
believe. it is the question in a nutshell. Your husband has flat out advised you that he can not believe you for what he assumed may were written about an ex boyfriend on your 'digital mag'. we are assuming it is mag is password secure on your computing gadget and under no circumstances on an information superhighway web site, accurate? If he information for divorce for infidelity, they can call for get admission to to the information superhighway web site for the case. yet at the same time, it seems that your husband has a accurate to be miffed as you've admitted to emotions for an ex...on your modern HUSBAND. it seems that you both favor to advance UP and settle on in case your courting is truly worth it. His father is nice. You both believe her or you do not. i do no longer even comprehend you and from what you've written the following on my own; i do not think you. yet i'm no longer married to you and does no longer ask on your deepest mag besides the actuality that if i changed into. Detailing romantic recommendations about yet another even as in a courting isn't a activity. that is infidelity of a lesser style. You both favor to take a seat and communicate about your courting. good success!
2016-10-15 02:15:49 · answer #4 · answered by chardip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is obvious that he read something in your journal that hurt him.
It depends on how much hurt he has for the amount of time to heal, and maybe he will never get over it.
My advice is to never keep a journal with thoughts that might hurt someone. Someone will always get hold of it and read it.
2006-07-22 10:22:35 · answer #5 · answered by festus_porkchop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never put your feelings in writing and when you do burn the paper! In my case I wouldn't want to be with someone who hates me or treats me bad. You can tell him just like that you want to spend your life with someone who loves you and if he doesn't leave the way open for a man who does.
2006-07-22 10:55:35 · answer #6 · answered by Tara R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BTW who went to "dating sites"? If one of you has gone to dating sites the marriage is OVER. Move on.
2006-07-22 10:52:28 · answer #7 · answered by doc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what he did is just plain WRONG. It's just as bad as if you opened personal correspondence of his. So, if he was the one snooping around, let him figure out what to do.
Stick to your guns, live your life, eventually he has to come to his senses, if he doesn't, well, move on lady!
2006-07-22 10:29:00 · answer #8 · answered by AMBER D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Should have kept your thoughts in your head. You write it down its fair game!
2006-07-22 10:30:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen to your heart it will tell you what to do
2006-07-22 10:19:58 · answer #10 · answered by madmadcutecute 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋