my journal he read!?

Question

my husabdn read my journalof personalthoughts, and turned into a really mean person towards me. i am more hurt that he read my thoughts of what i was feeling at "that moment" it had not meaning to it, it is my way of venting without arguing, am i wrong for that? he used the five months that "things have not felt right" to try and hate me. not to mention joining dating sites too. i am just hurt what should i do, i wonder if my marriage is over although i am making a effort to forgive, and he says its forgotten,but how, when he made me feel like sh*^ for motnhs,?

also let it be understood, people who argue all the time usually end up saying stupid hurtful things to each other, so i see nothing wrong with "avoiding" a argument, and moving on, half the stuff he read i had all but forgotten, why because it was "in that moment" he swears that the ating service were just so he could see what was other there before i left him i once wrote " i wanna leave and run" and he took it and ran, now i am just weird struggling with my emotions.

also let it be understood, people who argue all the time usually end up saying stupid hurtful things to each other, so i see nothing wrong with "avoiding" a argument, and moving on, half the stuff he read i had all but forgotten, why because it was "in that moment" he swears that the dating service were just so he could see what was other there before i left him i once wrote " i wanna leave and run" and he took it and ran, now i am just weird struggling with my emotions.

Answer 1

Marriage should be based on honesty, mutual trust and mutual respect (love of course goes without saying). This means that each partner must respect the other's right to personal privacy in such matters as diaries and journals. Your husbands reactions after having read your private journals suggest that he felt some element of guilt for his behaviour that prompted you to write about it. His efforts in joining a dating site are retaliatory because he is unable to face his own shortcomings.
They say it takes two to make an argument - but on the other side of the coin it takes TWO to make up. I feel it is rather important that couples have no secrets from each other, and can sit down and discuss problems without argument. Marriages are most likely to succeed through mutual understanding of each other, through discussing thoughts and niggles etc. rather than hiding them away - which is what you are doing when you write your journal!
So, try starting over. Agree to some ground rules together - such as NO arguments, frank opinions about each other, No secrets (other than birthday presents, etc.), discuss how each of you FEEL, and come to compromises wherever possible and then you both will win.

Answer 2

If you want to save the marriage, you need to get some counseling quickly. I believe in honesty in relationships, but reading someones personal thoughts, which can change by the moment is just wrong. So is he trying to punish you by joining dating sites. Sounds like he doesn't want to be married....Do you have children together? If you do this will affect them in a negative way. If you don't, do you really want to have them with a man who is going onto dating sites while he is still married???? What else has the immature little boy done? You have to forgive him....for what? He is acting like he is guilty of something more than just going on dating sites. Get counseling and decide to stay or go....you can only know in your heart what is correct for you. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Well I don't mean to be rude, but as a husband that read my (future) ex wife's diary... I found out that she was having an affair & was possibly prgenant with another mans baby! SO WHAT IF I HAD NEVER READ IT AND CONTINUED GETIING USED? THEN WHAT?
She had lies in her own Diary....So the hubby probably wants to know why you can't trust HIM enough to TALK to HIM about WHAT's ON YOUR MIND!

Women like you are always the victim in these situation.....Take a deep evaluation of yourself and ask "how did I make my Hubby feel when I poured this on paper instead of coming to my husband about an important issue?"

Answer 4

He had no business poking his nose where it doesn't belong. Tell him to knock that crap off and act like a man. He's lucky you decided to write instead of running to another man. Ever think of that? Let this be a lesson to him to stay out of your personal things, obviously he isn't man enough to handle it. If someone went through my personal things I would be furious and all hell would break loose.

Answer 5

He read your personal diary?

Shoot him. Failing that, dump him. He doesn't trust you, and he utterly betrayed you. You may not like it but your raltionship is doomed. Sticking with the bum is just putting off the inevitable. Get rid of him.

Answer 6

Tell your husband to walk it off, and rent Bridget Jones' Diary.

He's an immature jerk.