Brutal or subtle... The truth is the truth is it not? Or can we change it by how we make others percieve us by lying to ourselves and to them, often about the very obvious. Ever meet someone who was brilliant at making people buy into their dellusions as if they honesty were someone they are obviously not? And if you are this person or know this person, are they or are you offended when someone tells you the truth about yourself?
2006-07-22 09:45:29 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Personally. I am more homest with myself than I feel anyone is able to be and I will be more honest with you than you would probably want me to be. Even if I am phony I will be honest about it... Either way the trick is in the asking. If you don't ask, you don't give or get very much of anything.
2006-07-22 09:55:33 · update #1
"Q: Is it possible to be completely honest without hurting a person's feelings?
A: Probably not. If you are in an ongoing relationship with any person there will probably be times when you hurt their feelings. Probably the most often used rationalization for lying is "I didn't want to hurt anybody's feelings." I recommend you hurt people's feelings and stay with them past the hurt. I also recommend that you offend people. We can all get over having our feelings hurt and we can get over being offended. These are not permanent conditions; they are feelings that come and go. On the other side of that reaction is a conversation in which your mutual honesty creates an intimacy not possible if you are hiding something for the sake of someone's feelings."
2006-07-22 09:52:51 · answer #1 · answered by ted_armentrout 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like only the brave and strong would have you for a good friend. People are vulnerable. And taking advantage of that vulnerability through honesty is not a very caring thing to do. I think the word that women love to use is "sensitivity." Honesty can come across as "heartlessness" if you're too blunt. Anyway, how you perceive things is not the standard of truth for everyone. So if you can balance your perceptions of what is honest with a little compassion for the poor soul you're enlightening, you may gain some understanding of the hardships and trials others are facing. And in doing that you may find that being honest is not as important as caring for the heart of your friend. I would like to think that my honesty will help you become a little softer around the edges.
2006-07-22 10:09:03 · answer #2 · answered by Ariel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I happen to be a brutally honest person. But I can only tell you that most people deep down always want to know the truth. Sometimes it hurts...so people are willing to live with a lie because as long as they know its a lie, then most likely they know the right answer anyway. Im a horrible liar. And the truth gets me into trouble...nobody ever tells me secrets...waahhhhh lol.
2006-07-22 09:53:51 · answer #3 · answered by Grbrthrxs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because most people, even with the best intentions, are not honest! It's a vicious cycle - we're not used to honesty, so we lie in order to prevent offending anyone. And when we ask a question such as "How do you like my haircut?" we expect the person to give a positive response; a negative response is such a surprise, and we become offended.
Oh well, to err is human...
2006-07-22 09:54:12 · answer #4 · answered by Patrice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive found that people who are brutal in their honesty tend to have a mean streak and enjoy pointing out peoples shortcomings. There is usually no concern for whether their words are helpful.
2006-07-22 09:54:58 · answer #5 · answered by grabber21 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth hurts sometimes. I'm not offended by these people though. They just open your eyes to how things really are. I know someone who lies so much I don't think he can acually distinguish fact from fiction about his own life.
2006-07-22 09:54:36 · answer #6 · answered by wishorstish 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth hurts.
2006-07-22 09:50:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not the fact that people get offended by honesty, but the fact that they are afraid of the truth.
2006-07-22 10:01:56 · answer #8 · answered by brainychic12 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truth does hurt...some can't handle it and twist what's negative.
Those who handle opinions/advise, seek improvement of whatever sort.
Various people, acting in various ways...more for the good to consider *shrugs*
2006-07-22 09:51:19 · answer #9 · answered by Introverted White Waves 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because sometimes honesty hurts, but don't try to be offended to easily. if your friend is being honest about sometinhing like that new shirt that you just got, and she doesn't like it; be cool. She can have her own style, can't she?
2006-07-22 09:51:41 · answer #10 · answered by wormwoodkid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋