When I feel someone has mistreated me, I have a hard time putting my anger towards them behind me, any advice?

Question

Typically when someone crosses the line with me or is rude, I take the high road and respond diplomatically or just don't really respond at all. I know that if I lower myself to their level that I would be at fault, as well. Also, I tend to focus on the good in people and I make excuses for their actions.
The problem is that when it is all said and done, I can't let the anger with this person go. I feel this way towards someone that I worked for and will never see again. I know it is irrational to still feel this way but I really feel like I was treated disrespectfully.
What makes it difficult is that most of the disrespect was extremely subtle, so it was an extremely confusing experience on top of everything else.
How can I get closure to this?

Answer 1

A simple and quick solution could be put in effect. You could join a karate, boxing or kickboxing class to channel your anger towards something else. It could be your opponent or a punching bag, your choice.

Answer 2

I'm not sure you can get closure for this particular situation unless you contacted the person in question. However, in the future you might simply try stating your feelings. You don't have to lower yourself to their level. Something simple in a normal tone of voice like "I feel I was being disrespected" will get the point across even in a subtle situation. You teach people how to treat you. If you let them get away with things you find unacceptable you'll always be wishing you'd said or done something differently.

Answer 3

I can relate to that.
Think about how you may have similarly mistreated others. It's a humbling practice that has worked for me.
I tend to get upset when people say things and don't deliver; "I'll call you," "I'll email you"...whatever the case may be. If I think hard enough, I can usually remember saying the same thing to somebody and not delivering on my word, or not doing so as promptly as I would have if they were someone I deemed "important".
Just as I can forgive myself for those faux pas and move on, I learn to be just as patient with others.
Give it a try; it might work for you too.

Answer 4

If someone did you wrong, they usually know they have crossed you. Just for good measure, make sure to let the jabroni know that he just crossed the line. Be polite and don't say anything more. The next time he hears from you, it will be very painful for him.

Basically, you don't want to incriminate yourself in any way. Besides, if he knows what kind of guy you are and he also knows that he has crossed you, then he will have the time to simmer in his own stew. While you plan out your revenge, you can enjoy some gelato and let him worry. One more thing: don't tell anyone else what you will do so the word doesn't slip out and warn your target.
No matter what you decide to do, make sure you hit hard and fast. No one likes a sloppy hit, it doesn't look good and doesn't send the same message. Plan your job out carefully and meticulously. When the time comes, all you need to do is execute it properly and your enemy will wish he never crossed you to begin with. Think cold, calculating and efficient.

Once you have sworn a person off as an enemy, it is important that you show no mercy towards him. As soon as the opportunity presents itself, you must go for the jugular. And once there, don't let go until you've completed the job!
Have no mercy; as long as your enemies are around, they can still hurt you. So make sure you put them on the sidelines permanently.

The first thing you should do when ruining someone is destroy their finances. It takes money to get things done these days, thus your first move being hurting your enemy financially.

Your second move is to ruin his reputation. Losing money is bad, but losing a reputation is worse than death.
Here's what I recommend you do:

Sue him for everything he is worth. That's right, you heard me -- take him to court. The first thing you should do is build a legal case against him. If he owes you money and has assets, then go after every penny he's got.

Once you've gotten that, go after his other assets. "But he has a wife and kids"... tough luck buddy, next time don't borrow what you can't pay back. If need be, send the guy into bankruptcy. "But what about"... no buts. Ruin him financially. End of story.

Great, now he's in the street and uses the same cup to urinate in and to beg for spare change so he can afford some bread to go with his pigeon dinner. "What do I do now?," you ask?

- Ruin his name and reputation!

First off, it's just business, so don't feel sorry for the poor slob, he had it coming. What you do now is attack his reputation. In one of my previous articles I spoke of the importance of building a strong reputation. Well, here's how to destroy one:

Let the word leak about what a scumbag he is and what he did. Basically, you want to brand him as a rat. A man without honor is not a man.

Do you know anything about him that would cause him big trouble with friends, family, etc.? For example, did he cheat on his wife, and with whom? I'm sure his wife wouldn't stand by his side for very long if she had proof that he wasn't loyal to her.

Don't allow your enemy any options. Once you send him down the river, there is no turning back. Carry out your plan until you ruin him. To have ultimate victory, you must be ruthless. Capisce ? Good, it's very important that you understand this little fact.

Remember, destroying someone's reputation doesn't take very long. If someone rips you off, he'll probably rip other people off as well. A reputation sticks and news travels fast.
Get the word out properly and your enemy won't have any friends left to share his roasted pigeon with. More importantly, he won't have any friends left to help him seek revenge against you.

Furthermore, some of his ex-friends will likely move over to your camp and you'll actually gain power in the process. Not a bad deal if you ask me.

What happens to our good friend who is now penniless, wifeless and stripped of a good reputation? Not much, you've essentially stripped the man of everything, including any mental strength he thought he had left.

If that is not enough for you, I'm sure you can figure out what the next step would be. I wouldn't suggest taking such actions though, unless you really know the Pandora's box you would be opening.

Watch your back boys and keep your noses clean.

Answer 5

First, make sure that you've been mistreated. Confront the person and calmly, as possible, tell them how you feel and if they do it again you will take it to a higher authority. And mean it. Remember that anger is okay, if you don't let it fester. It is a natural feeling. Once you vent your anger in the way I have suggested you will be amazed at how much better you will feel.....

Answer 6

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Answer 7

I try to think that the person is just having a bad day
or
has difficulty expressing themselves.
Maybe they were never taught to be sensitive
or
for some reason they just aren't capable of it.

Anyway, I try not to take it all too seriously, but it is hard sometimes, especially if it seems personal.

Answer 8

This is what you got do, take all your unhappy memories out of your body and place them in a basket. your pain, your anger, and your resentments. And let god take that basket of unhappiness from your hands to plies to the outer reaches of the universe and transforms it into loving energy that will revisit you later today. And forgive those around you and ask for divine assistance to hold you in a state of continual forgiveness.

Answer 9

you feel this way because they took away your power and you want it back...when this happens to me i'm resentfull.. i think about revenge and getting even but that's out of character for me..there's this huge void and i want to fill it...it's very important to learn how to deal with the resentment because everytime you think about it you experience it over and over and it really does poison your body....it releases bad chemicals into your system that affect your health.there are many suggestions posted......i don't know what works for you.....try them..but start by doing A LOT of writing about it !! even physical exercise helps to release the anger .....that's the physical ways.....i learned this and passed it on to my sons and they use it as adults...

Answer 10

Anger is something you have to deal with. If you feel it, aproach it and deal with it. Other wise it sits there on your soul and you never get over it. Dealing with anger doesn't mean you're cutting ties, it means your respecticing yourself and the one who has hurt you. See the relationship and not the anger and deal with it.