Why does he say rude comments?

Question

My husband makes comments about me that are not nice. He says he's joking just to pick on me but it is driving me crazy! Picture this: I'm 5'5", 115 pounds...thin and attractive. Seriously! He makes comments about my butt, boobs, thighs...you name it. I have had two children but you wouldn't know it. I even look about 5-10 years younger than my actual age! What's up with that?

no boobs, big butt, and fat

And the truth...I have little boobs, no butt, and am thin

Answer 1

I will give you the answer...as I had the same problem.

Your husband has low self esteem. You are gorgeous and he is afraid of losing you. He is trying to lower your self esteem. He is saying negative things about you, to make you think they are true and to lower your self esteem. He is jealous that you still look great. I'll bet he probably doesn't look as great as he used to.

How I got my husband out of it??

When he would say something negative I'd respond...
"funny you don't like my [whatever]....all the other guys sure do"
or
"gee honey....if you're not happy with my [whatever] I'm sure I'd have
no problem finding someone out there that does."

It shut his mouth up and opened my eyes up.
I realized that -- yes! I was a gorgeous beautiful woman after two children -inside and out.
And Yes! He was a fat good for nothing beer drinking loser....and now he's gone!!
And I'm with someone who loves me...for me...and my kids and never ever says anything negative about me.

Good Luck Sweetie. Don't let him do this to you because you know that none of it is true. Find out the real reason why he is doing this and maybe open up your eyes, too!!

Answer 2

I think he's just joking around with you. If you know that the things he is saying are not true, you need to lighten up a little bit. Poke fun at him. You need some comebacks. Once you come back at him with something you know bothers him, I am sure he will lighten up. Tell him, oh boy, looks like your balding a bit there. Or gee, nice love handles. Or maybe, wow, you have more boobs than I do. Stuff like that.

Answer 3

it does not mean he's insecure, or he's an asshole, or it does not mean he's teaseing.

considering that we have never met your housband, no one here is in obligation to accuse him of what you call him doing "making rude comments". who knows, he might be a self-centered cock sucker, he might be the nicest man on the face of the earth.

only you, and other people close to him know.

but if i made a close guess, i'd say it was a form of keeping your relationship tight, in his ways. though you're not fond of this, he doesn't know, and until he does, he'll keep doing it, figuring you don't care, and it actually does help your relationship.

some guys may buy their wives flowers, or say they love them, or take them out for dinner. others don't have the same gentle side, and may do what your husband does. same with women.

you can not accuse a man for this, it's his nature, he was born with this, and therefore it's a physcological problem, and will take sometime to fix. maybe he does this because he doesnt like something you do! not everybody is perfect, therefore, confront him, and he'll confront you.

dont hate me because i'm sticking up for his actions, cause im not, im just suggesting what and why he might be doing this.

alex

Answer 4

O.K. this will sound weird (but men are weird whatcha gonna do) he's afraid he's gonna loose you. he sees how attractive you are and probably sees guys checking you out all the time. it's his defense about his own insecurities.....trying to make you insecure. he's hoping you will get as insecure as he is about yourself and MAYBE just maybe you will let yourself go just a little bit so he doesn't have to worry about some other guy snatching you up.

My suggestion is to have a serious conversation with him about how these rude comments make you feel. And here's another thing...you two have been together for awhile I'm assuming with two kids. sometimes we as females forget that our men need compliments too. Remember to praise him every-now again and make him feel "like the man" of the house. Guys really like to feel they are needed. Let him open that jar of spaghetti sauce even if you can get it open yourself.

I found out in relationships....its the little things in life that you do for your loved ones that really show you love them. Make sense? But seriously have a sit down with him.....

Answer 5

He is a jerk. Plain and simple. He is a jerk. No body has a right to talk like that to you. Stand up and tell him straight how you feel. Don't get mad or emotional (at least don't show it on the outside), just tell him straight...lay down the law...you will stop treating me with disrespect or you will be gone. If he is a decent man he will understand and try to do the right thing.

Answer 6

He probably does it so that you don't think you are attractive you know he is the one that is insecure and probably feels like you deserve better than him. But in order to live up to what he believes is your standards he has to bring you down to his. Just tell "Josh" that he has nothing to worry about. You love him dearly and there is no need to feel threatened. He will calm down after that. But tell him in a loving kind of motherly way.

Answer 7

could be a little jealous, and a slight self esteem problem. don't fall in to the trap, don't show your emotions and try to ignore him if he has a problem that will drive him crazy, as long as you act wounded he wins that is control ! now if he gets worse, after you decide to not play wounded try counseling, he should agree, he does not sound bad just some issues. good luck.

Answer 8

Your looks make him feel insecure, and so he's trying to bring you down. Make YOU feel insecure like he does. As punishment for his meanness I would play on his insecurities--dress sexy, be friendly to other men (in front of hubby, of course), and generally make his life a living hell for awhile.

Hasn't he ever heard that old adage, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"?

As your husband, he should be your biggest fan, not your biggest critic.

Answer 9

Your hubby may not know how to express his true feelings for you. Sit down and have a serious eye-to-eye, face-to-face discussion about the matter. After that, look for some marked improvement in his comments towards you. If he does not improve...girl...drop him like a hot-a**ed rock!

Answer 10

I think he picks on you to just put you down. Some men do that just because thay are inferrior to you and they have no self esteem. I know you said you've got two kids , but tell him how you feel , If nothing changes , Change him , MOVE ON !