I have pretty long hair now, and I'm getting sick of it. I'd like to get it cut super short, as I've wanted it for some time. I mean really short, like a cut that would typically be considered "male". I think that I'd look good like that, as does my best friend (and she knows style!)
My parents say that I can get my hair cut however I want to (I'm 17), but they are always saying that girls shouldn't have short hair and my dad has gone so far as to say that I'd "make people think that I'm gay, and I'd look like the man in the relationship, and who wants that?" I think that's homophobic and completely stupid, and I respectfully told him as much.
My problem is not whether to get my hair cut or not, but when. Should I get it cut before or after I come out to them? I would like to tell them fairly soon and the appointment is stuck at 5 weeks from now. But I don't want to scare them by coming out while looking really butch. I am pretty much the stereotype butch, but it's not who I am.
2006-07-22 09:18:20 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
By that I mean that I am of course more than just a stereotype. But I don't want to enforce or promote stereotypes, especially at such an important time as coming out to my parents.
So what do you all advise?
2006-07-22 09:19:39 · update #1
I completely understand not wanting to enforce the stereotype, and depending on how much you feel that or whether or not you feel there's other ways to reach your parents about stereotypes, you might hold off on the haircut for awhile (are you almost to college, or still another year away?). I've been there, but eventually everyone realizes that it's stupid to come out, and then STILL have to change / hide who you are; yes, some things about you fit the stereotype. Some things about EVERYONE fits the stereotype. You need to make a point to your parents or sometimes your friends that not everything does. To that end, if you've got other gay friends or have other ways to make the point to your parents that "hey, look, that gay person's normal", or if you're really not that concerned by it, I say do what you wanna do.
2006-07-25 01:08:58 · answer #1 · answered by Atropis 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Come out to them when you are ready to do so, don't time it around when you cut your hair. Since you have their go ahead on cutting it do it any way you think look good on you, don't worry about stereotypes. They may have some idea already about your being gay, but break it to them gently. Most parents go through a stage of thinking it is some how their fault, that they did something wrong, so assure them that is not the case. Also assure them this is not a stage you will grow out of (that is if you are sure it isn't).
The best of luck with the whole process.
2006-07-22 16:50:01 · answer #2 · answered by golden oldy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether you like it or not, your parents will probably think that you are cutting your hair because you are gay or because you want to look like a man. Of course it's not true, but that probably will be their initial reaction. They'll get over it in time. Come out when you're ready. Have a friend on call that you can go to in case it doesn't go well. Remember that you've had more time to prepare for your coming out than they have. Most of all, know that however they react initially will probably not last forever.
2006-07-22 16:26:24 · answer #3 · answered by mathsmart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand where your coming from. My advice to you would be get your hair cut a shoulder length. Reson being is because then it wouldn't be to short... so you wouldn't look like a guy, but on the other hand it is still semi long so that you look like a girl, i guess if you look at it from your parents point of view. Well what ever you decide... Good Luck!!!
2006-07-22 16:23:30 · answer #4 · answered by Don Key17 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd cut it,and say,see dad,omg,you were right!! I cut my hair,now I'm a lesbian,lol. Sorry,but I'd have to mess with him on that one,lol. My hair is boy short these days,but I'm bi,and I don't care if it makes me look "butchie" or not. I live in Florida,it's hot,my hair's really curly and a pain,and it's much easier. Doesn't really matter when you cut it,when you do,he's still gonna make the connection anyways,whenever it happens. My take on men liking women with long hair,is it makes them look like little girls longer.
2006-07-22 23:27:55 · answer #5 · answered by dragonfly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sexual preference has nothing to do with style! Remember when you cut it off it will be short for the rest of your life. It took a life time to grow so be sure this is what you want ten years from now!
2006-07-22 16:25:29 · answer #6 · answered by Retarded Dave 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say they, in their hearts, already know......but aren't ready to face it, they are still holding out hope that you are not. Try to do it as slowly as possible. I think that I would do like the above and take baby steps with them. Shoulder length hair....to start......then alittle shorter. Same with their feelings. Just be gentle and kind as possible. It hurts a parent to find out that their child is "different". Good Luck......
2006-07-22 16:43:42 · answer #7 · answered by PKe0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with what bunnylover is telling you. that way if you miss your long hair it won't take so long to grow it back. Don't fret about the coming out stuff, that is your business only.
2006-07-22 17:09:36 · answer #8 · answered by Classy Granny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont get your hair cut.just tell your parents you are gay.i think the short look for lesbians is out of fashion now.
2006-07-23 07:35:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go ahead cut it ...get a mullet... it will kinda do it all for you.
You'll have short hair and everybody will know your gay anyway
Problem solved.
2006-07-22 18:15:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋