I can't get out of debt. My bills are piling up and I have been bouncing checks (being charged $30 a pop)!

Question

I only take home 500/week and my bills exceed that... I just can't get ahead. My credit is horrible and I can't take out a loan and/or borrow from anyone. I have a $300 car payment, and pay all the utilities, incedentals, food, clothing, gas, etc... My husband pays the mortgage and taxes. I live paycheck to paycheck and always end up with either nothing or a negative balance. I am at my wit's end... I've tried selling stuff on ebay, etc.. but no one wants to buy my crap! I have 2 teen age kids and a very strained, unhappy marraige. I have too much clutter, am overweight and a recovering alcoholic. I am at my wit's end. I go for therapy but nothing helps. I don't know what to do. I want to do the right thing, but feel like things are just out of control. Can someone offer some serious, honest, and helpful advice? I'd be forever grateful. Thank you.

Answer 1

This might not help completely but it will help a little bit. First you have a 300.00 car payment! That is crazy, you may want to try selling your car and buying something new (so it has a warrenty and no real chance of being abused) like a kia or something that you can get for around 12,000 they also have up to 6 year loans which may help. Also as far as the overdraft and nsf fees my best suggestion there would be to make sure you write EVERYTHING that you spend down, if your using a check card stop for a while because its easy to spend with out writting it down. As long as you know exactly what your balance is there is no reason to get those nasty bank fees, if you can't pay the bill its better to just not pay untill you get the money because if you take the chance you are just wasting more money on overdraft and insufficient funds fees which can really add up in a matter of days. Also I would look into seeing if you can obtain a home equity to consolidate some debt. Also if your using your home as collatral it will be t ax dectuible so that will help come tax time! Don't use a company that says they will help you reduce your bills, I hear they have high rates to help you and they are not going to magically make any debt disappear. If necessary, meaning its really out of control, last resort think about bankruptcy.

Answer 2

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
I can't get out of debt. My bills are piling up and I have been bouncing checks (being charged $30 a pop)!
I only take home 500/week and my bills exceed that... I just can't get ahead. My credit is horrible and I can't take out a loan and/or borrow from anyone. I have a $300 car payment, and pay all the utilities, incedentals, food, clothing, gas, etc... My husband pays the mortgage and taxes....

Answer 3

You've taken one big step and given up alcohol. That stuff not only impairs your judgment and lowers your quality of life, it's EXPENSIVE. You need to take small steps. Having a positive outlook is not easy, but you have to. Baby steps, one thing at a time. Every situation, find something positive. Try not to react negatively to things. Having teenagers can't help -- they know how to push your buttons, as does your husband. So when they come at you with some new complaint, just look off into the distance and say "Hmm. I'll have to think about that." Stay calm. Pretend you're a Zen guru. Learn how to ignore the crap that comes at you in life. The reason I stress this is, you're obviously depressed. Depression gives you that "I can't win for losing" attitude -- you hate yourself and don't trust yourself. That leads to making dumb decisions and taking the path of least resistance. As I said, small, positive steps. Another poster said to ditch that expensive car payment. If you do that, it will be a small, positive step. It will be something to put in your arsenal to make you feel a little stronger the next time. Add to this, and you will find that your depression lifts and as a result, your financial decisions will start to get smarter. It's an upward spiral.

Two good books are listed below -- try them.

Answer 4

First thing to do is to not write checks if you don't have the money to cover them. That will save you the fees. Have a garage sale with all the items you wanted to sell on E-Bay. Go to an AA meeting and ask them for feedback. It may be that you stopped drinking and started over spending. Accept yourself at the weight you are. You are a beautiful person and you deserve to be happy and right now your finances are your top priority. Can you get a second job like baby sitting or even a clerk at 7_11. Is is possible for your children to get a part time job? Do you belong to a church that you can ask for help. Is there any luxury items you can do without. Do you write a buget and stick to it. Can you sell your car? $300 is a lot of money. You can go to a non-profit group that specializes in financial problems. If therapy costs money and not helping--stop going. If it is free, tell the therapist you need some referrals for financial planning because some are not legitimate. You stopped drinking so congratulate yourself on that, and you have overcome the biggest obstacle in your life so I have confience you can handle your financial problems. You are a courageous person and you have a lot to be proud of. Clutter can be thrown out or sold at a garage sale. You can live in a smaller house or sell it or refinance at a lower rate. I just read an article about a lady who worked double shifts and turned her home into a board and care facility. You could have a day care center. She is now a millionaire and she was homeless. Pray to God and ask him for help. Talk to your husband and ask without yelling what steps can you both take to make ends meet. Ask your children without yelling to give you some feedback. Then, you have go out and ask at your AA meeting. Forget about your weight and enjoy your sobriety. I am confident that you will succeed at restoring your peace of mind and your finances.

Answer 5

You and your husband need joint counseling, because you are in this together; you are a partnership. Your debts affect the whole family.
If it were me, I would sell the car with a $300 payment and get a more affordable vehicle to drive.
Next, I would get a checking account that gives you overdraft protection. Shop around for a better bank or credit union.
If you have too much clutter, maybe you should have a yard sale to get rid of some stuff. Get your kids to help, too. They probably have things of their own to sell, too.
If it's any consolation, you are not alone. I hopes this helps a little...good luck.

Answer 6

Bills Piling Up

Answer 7

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Answer 8

In his way Stalin was another Hitler, and Stalin lasted longer in power, and died of old age, still in power. Stalin was in charge of Soviet Russia, a very powerful nation. Since that time there have been several dictators in charge of nations which have had wide influence, e.g.Ghaddafi in Libya (small nation by population, but big influence because of oil), Mao Tse Tung in China and Saddam Hussein in Iraq (oil, again, and look at the chaos in Iraq since he was deposed). Nobody can predict the future, but I would not be surprised to find a dictator in a similar position to Hitler at some time.

Answer 9

Maybe the denial stage is over and you can admit you live over your means. Get a budget and and Include paying yourself first. You make 2k a month alone , whats the problem? The bankruptcy laws are tougher to discharge debt so...Lottery wishes dont work, stop paying therapists,

Answer 10

You say your husband pays the mortgage and the taxes, but does he have money left over after that that he could put towards the debts on the bills you are responsible for? It sounds, in the way you wrote this, like you are responsible for paying certain things and that you are getting no help with it from him, but it's not fair if you have to pay more in bills each month than you make while he has extra cash to spend. If this is happening, you need to have a serious talk with him about taking on more money responsibility in the household.

Of course, this might not be true, it might just be the way it was worded, but either way the first thing you need to do is sit down with your husband and make an honest assessment of how much money you BOTH and making, and how much you BOTH are spending, every month. Fix a time to do this after the kids are asleep, and try not to make it a judgment issue, like "you spend too much on this, and that's why we're in trouble." If your husband does that, just say "well, we're going to find ways to cut down on all spending, we're in this together". It's REALLY hard to talk about money, because usually you end up blaming one another for the debt, but remember, it's both of you, and you have to work together to get out of it. Sit down with receipts for things you've bought and bills you have to pay and figure out exactly what your debt is, and how much you spend on what in your household.

After you assess your debt, you have to figure out what can be cut from your spending. All the money you cut should be put towards paying off bills and paying down debt. Some of it's easy, like maybe the family goes out to dinner once a week, or you buy a new pair of shoes every month, or you subscribe to HBO, or maybe you or your husband have a gym membership you never use. Those things are easy to spot and stop. Some of it is harder to figure out, like, could you cut $20 from your food shopping every week if you used coupons and cut out pre-cooked foods and luxury foods like ice cream and junk food? Don't let your husband say that that's your responsibility and that you need to figure it out, because when one spouse is in debt, you both are, and if you figure it out together in a calm, non-blaming way, you'll fix your marriage as you fix the debt.

Finally, go to Oprah.com and check out her debt-diet. She explains every step you need to take very clearly, and the plan is very sensible. I follow it to keep myself in check financially and out of debt, and it works very well.

I know it's tough, but good luck!