me and my boyf are on a break but i need help??

Question

I was with my boyfriend for 9 years when he cheated on me. It ruined everything between us, we tried to make it work but i couldnt forgive him or trust him even tho i stilll love him madly. Anyway we have decided to have a complete break with no contact at all. It is absolutely killing me, i want to ring him and text him and i want o know what hes doin?? What can i do?? I should really hate him for what hes put me through but i cant!! Help!!!!

Answer 1

Love is a great, and terrible thing woodentop. I have been where you are and it is so painful and hurtful. The lonliness is almost all consuming. That is why I tell you what my best friend said to me...You have to get, and keep your mind occupied. You need to go do something just for you to make yourself feel better. I have alwaays relied on pedicures for filling the bill. Grab a couple of girls and go shopping for some new earrings, or hair ornaments...anything to get you away from the phone and his memory. He committed the worst commitment sin. Don't let him continue to hurt you. It is like a death my friend. You have to mourn the relationship, but move on, not back!!! Please trust me on this one, even though I am a total stranger, I am still your sister. I hurt with you. Please give in to temptation and go buy a banana split. Cry, Laugh, and remember the good times, but never forget the hurt he caused. You don't have to hate him, but you don't have to let it happen again. Hugs and good luck. Nana

Answer 2

honey, if u can't take him back, then u are doin the right thing, no contact. it's never easy & will hurt 4 a long time. u have 2 choose. it goes love me or leave me alone. pick 1. no rebound man will help in the long run. u just have 2 deal by whatever means u find necessary. u can't be friends w/ some1 u love, its just 2 painful 2 see them happy & getting along w/ u. u don't need 2 hate him, but sometimes its easier if u try 2 hate him. whatever u decide i hope it works 4 you. but, honestly what hurts more, being w/ out him or being untrusting w/ him?
if u stay broke up then 1 day u will be able 2 be friendly, i promise. if u care that much about some1.

Answer 3

Not to sound harsh but he cheated for a reason. And after being cheated on it is extremely hard to trust that person again. If you don't think that you will trust him it is not worth trying to fix the relationship. Because everytime you see him look at another woman or talk to another woman you will remember what he did to you and it will hurt. As much as you want to contact him you need to leave it alone at least for a few of months. But remember, that if he's not with you at the moment he may be with someone else. If you give him his space and time to think he might realize what he has lost and contact you.

Answer 4

You are going to have to decide whether you're going to forgive him, or move on to someone else. If you forgive him, and it becomes resolved, then don't bring it up again. No use in opening old wounds. So you have a decision to think about. Hating anyone doesn't do you or the other person any good. So what are you going to do? You do understand that if you keep harping on him, he just may to decide to leave you permanently, even though things were his fault. He knows he was wrong. It's up to him to adjust his behavior, or risk losing you forever. Think about all this thoroughly, and never act on impulse. Best of luck to you........

Answer 5

A friend of mine has just gone through the same event in her life, and she was exactly like you, dying for him, EVEN knowing that he had cheated on her. I truly suggest that you do other things to get him off your mind. Try reading, walking in the park, going to the movies, distracting yourself is the best thing, and also try meeting new people! It'll take some time since you were together for so long but I know it'll work if you put effort to it. Best of Luck! ~V.J.~

Answer 6

You must realize that your relationship, as you knew it before the infidelity, is OVER. As far as I'm concerned, if you know about one, you don't know about 10 others. I would cut and run if you have found out about a recent affair. In my case, it was five years later that I found out and had two more kids. I just let it go (on the surface,) but I'm PISSED OFF deep down and can't wait until the kids are full grown so I can arrange some way out of here that won't hurt them too bad as adults.

Answer 7

It happens... Take a break from him but remain in contact with him... Take your time to get out of it and when you think you can trust him go back to him and ask him to be your man once again... You might be thinking that its not even that easy but just remember, you love him and you have spent 9 years with him and if you want something out of this investment then trsut me this is the best way out...

Answer 8

Been apart might help decide if you are really meant for each other.Someone told me that a couple was suppose to get married someday but to make very sure they were meant for each other they decide to get separated for one yrs but they only wrote by mail just to check how they were.after the yrs pass they saw each other and the love they had was forever,they got married 6 month after.
like they say better now then later.good luck

Answer 9

there's nothing wrong with having feelings for him, but do what's best for you and him. You can/could still stay in contact with him but if you don't like how he's been doing you you two shouldn't be together. Do you really want to hate him? Regardless of how he treats you, you can still treat him with kindness. IF it's killing you, you should talk to him.

Answer 10

My advice is to start a journal and pretend that it is him - you can get these feelings out, you can tell him anything you want, and you may find the answers that you need from insight. Maybe you will even find that what he did was completely wrong and that you deserve better!