My husband and I been married for 2 years and some months but we been 2gether for 5 years total. My question is.. I feel like im not in love with him and i felt like we got married out of convience we have lots of issues as well like he does not respect most of the things i have to say and that when we do discuss any topic he gets angry and throw stuff around one time he got angry and threw a pot of hot water that touch me and my daughter another time is when we were discuss about a tv show i was voicing my opinon and he voicing his that he thought i wasn't listening to him so he go mad and broke the tv... it to the point were i feel i can't talk to him about anything w/o him getting angry..i've came to the point where i confident in another person to talk and now i feel very close to this person it's going on 2yrs now..how can i confront my husband and let him know i'm not happy w/o him gettin angry is there any solution to my situation..?
2006-07-22 08:23:56 · 19 answers · asked by emotional misstres 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My experience is that your relationship will end in divorce or injury. I have some professional experience in this field, and I believe your next step should be to determine whether you are in danger, or just live with a bad-tempered man. Believe it or not, men are capable of expressing their anger in ways that are neither destructive or demeaning. Yours is doing both. You have to decide whether to put effort in to this current relationship and discuss counseling, anger classes, and other helps to your husband; or choose to end the marriage and work on your own ability to communicate and develop a worthwhile relationship. Ask yourself, "what does this teach my daughter?", "How much is too much?" and "What is the highest priority for my life?" the answers to these questions will help you determine whether your next call is to a marital counsellor or an attorney.
By the way, emotional affairs are commonplace and people tend to think they are less damaging than physical affairs. The opposite is true. When you sleep around, all you give away is your body. When you attach your soul to another man, you have already left your marriage. Intimacy is developed in the emotional part of a relationship, not in the sex. Sounds to me like you have much to consider, and some difficult steps to take. Be strong, and make good choices.
2006-07-22 08:35:22 · answer #1 · answered by sexymommyof3 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is your fault. You chose the life you live in. You chose to procreate back to back and to forgo normal emotional and financial development by marrying young. The work of a stay at home mom is to tend to the kids, cook and clean, go to the supermarket. What do you think? That the kids you popped out were going to take care of themselves? That your teenage husband was going to make millions of dollars and you were going to ride the unicorn over the rainbow? That there is time fr candle lit dinners and passionate romantic dates after having 2 small children and diapers to change, bills to pay??? Grow up and get real. It takes a lot to feed 4 mouths when you don't have an education or experience on anything. He is working TWO jobs to feed your immature, whiny self. You made the bed now lay on it.
2016-03-16 03:35:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure there's a solution! Please take the time to examine why you got into this marriage in the first place. I would guess that you need to work on your self worth. This is an excellent website to get started on. http://www.coping.org/growth/esteem.htm
First and most importantly is to keep yourself and daughter safe. I would suggest the next time, and hopefully there won't be one, that your husband becomes violent, call the police.
I understand about the emotional affair because you just want to feel loved and have someone to talk with.
Maybe this friend can help you and your daughter leave this situation and obtain a restraining order against your husband.
Very important though..... don't jump into a relationship right away. You have some healing and some work to do. Let this person know that you are not ready for a relationship until you have finished with this one. Its really the only way it may have a chance to work if you are attracted to him in that way.
Best of luck!
2006-07-22 08:33:19 · answer #3 · answered by ididntdoitthedogdid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like your marraige has a lot of issues - so let's keep emotional affair guy out of it.
You need to do what is best for you and your daughter. If the marraige is dead, and he is violent...that is not a good environment for your kid. Your #1 priority is your kid.
Once you are out of the situation, then play out your affair, but don't let feelings for one guy disrupt your business at home. Yes, it's easy to escape into a fantasy when your real life is so rotten, but you still need to deal with things - not run from them.
2006-07-22 08:28:37 · answer #4 · answered by Nightwish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd have some physical backup there when I told him anything if I were you. Sounds like he is wanting to kick your @$$. I'd be VERY careful from the sounds of it.
He is unreasonable. Keep that in mind.
2006-07-22 08:27:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband sounds like a violent man. I hope he's not hitting you or your daughter. You should have zero tolerance for that. Seriously, no excuse is good enough to hit a woman. With that being said, it sounds like your husband doesn't respect you at all. You can't have a relationship with a man who doesn't respect you. You can try to talk to him about it, but I have a feeling that he won't care. If you feel like you're not in love with him, why are you with him still? It sounds like he's a loser, leave him before he start hitting you.
2006-07-22 08:31:48 · answer #6 · answered by peta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you can't live like this anymore...If he don't understand that then find you a new place to live and get out of there
2006-07-22 08:37:16 · answer #7 · answered by canuticklemepink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have an affair and then you'll start to appreciate him
2006-07-22 14:36:08 · answer #8 · answered by nickless 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, the most important step to take is to make sure that your daughter is safe, if this person, or if you could go to family to stay with...along with that step, since you have fallen out of love, etc., you have to find a lawyer, someone who will be able to help you get a divorce, it seems like you aren't happy there, so, if you guys can't get along amicably, I would suggest to get out of it, I don't know if you two should go to counselling, I don't believe in trying to fix a relationship where all you get is what you have been getting, agony, so...I would do what I would do to make sure that my daughter was safe first and foremost. Just be careful of his temper and attitude.
2006-07-22 08:29:40 · answer #9 · answered by theodorais 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT NOW.These are early warning signs of future events. Things were probably good early in the relationship for you to marry this man,but he may feel trapped or tied down.Everyone deals with lifes daily pressures differently.In any event get to a safe place with someone you trust before telling him your feelings.As for your confidant,take it SLOW. You are very vulnerable and confused.Good luck,I pray you'll stay safe and happy.
2006-07-22 08:37:39 · answer #10 · answered by hanko 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The hot water deal should be the straw the breaks the camel's back. Get a restraining order and get out. There should be local legal services for women to quickly get this done.
2006-07-22 08:28:25 · answer #11 · answered by Timf4515 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋