What is love??? How to say it clean?

Question

I say I love you and it is so cheapened by the years of abuse this word carries.
How would you like to hear a person express their deepest feelings to you without using the word Love

Take a child of 6 and she is abused sexually by 2 uncles until she is 11. Everybody says " Oh my girl how uncle ??? and uncle??? love you so much you are a special child" And this goes on to this day even after their death.
I married this woman in1977, and we are still married. I am not the creator of her perception of love. I value the amount of positive input, but object to the insinuation that it is I who have abused these words, and that this question is inspired by my need to hear these words. Unless one knows the story of another persons life, best they avoid generalisation.

Answer 1

There is no real answer to this question but what I have learned of what love is to me and that is the word LOVE itself holds the answer.......

(L)isten: and validate them by hearing and empathizing.
(O)verlook: their minor character flaws as they will overlook yours.
(V)alue: who they are and what they mean to you.
(E)xpress: how you love them not just with words but with actions.

Answer 2

Clean ? Love is not a dirty word .

If the word love sounds so cheapened by years of abuse , this only leads me to believe , your the one who has abused it , and therefor think others say it knowing they don't love you .

On the other hand , I have always meant it when I spoke it . Even if I have used it plenty of times , to only a few men and family , when it was said I meant it with all my heart .
No matter what ended up becoming of the situation with the person .
You may have walked away from a relationship thinking they hurt me they must not have really loved me . They must have not meant it . Perhaps they meant it when they said it , something broke and they ended up hurting you maybe intentional or not , what we may never know is that they meant it when they said it before everything went a rye , maybe even during the process too , your not them how could you possibly know ? Unless they said oh by the way , when I said I loved you I lied .

Just because you don't feel that way towards a person later in life doesn't mean it wasn't love when it was said , it was love .
Different circumstances can lead you down different paths , I don't think it has to be love for ever and ever to qualify as love , but to love someone for 50 years says something much deeper about two people than people who have loved and lost (and not "true" love , I think that's bull crap , Its called commitment , you love a person and want to commit whatever it takes to stay together problems or no problems ).

No I don't speak of lust , lust is much different from love , don't mix up the two .

Our love has limits ,Only the love of GOD is boundless .

Answer 3

I don't know if you are male or female so my answers apply to both.
First of all "Actions Speak Louder Than Words"
* Place notes in your lover's lunch telling him how much you love him.
* Page your sweetheart with an I Love You page.
* Give her a soft kiss.
* Make everyday things special.
* Give your love a little note or sending him an e-mail with a poem in it.
* Listen to her every word.
* Making a list of everything you love about them. No matter how stupid.
* Spend quality time with the one you love.
* Have flowers delivered with a note attached saying simply, "I love you."
* Give unexpected hugs and kisses in unexpected places.
* Cook them their favorite meal.
* Hold each other when you fall asleep.
* Just be together.
* Give your love a long hard kiss on the lips, followed by a gift.
* Sending romantic postcards on a daily basis.
* Get off work early and surprise your sweetheart with a dozen roses and dinner, just because.
* Spend all week thinking of something special for the weekend and then... do it!
* Give him a loving smile from across the room.
* Draw or obtain a new romantic picture of two lovers in each others grasp and give it to your love as a reminder of your passion.
* If you live quite a distance from your love, surprise them with a visit.
* When she is asleep in the morning, cover her with rose petals and wake her up to an I love you breakfast in bed.
* Secretly write S-H-M-I-L-Y anywhere your lover will find it. SHMILY= See How Much I Love You.
* Rub your nose on your sweetheart's nose!
* Grab him by the waist, pulling him towards you, then softly touching his lips with yours.
*Have a romantic weekend.
* For a week, smothering your spouse with all the small intimate things they like.
* Do a simple act of kindness, such as a backrub when he feels sick, to brighten his day.
* Make a big sign (like the ones you use for demonstrations) quoting "Did my heart love 'til now? Forswear it sight, for I never saw true beauty 'til this night."
* Make a web page for your girlfriend to tell her how much you love her.
* Write long, erotic letters where you describe how much you love them.

Just Say It...
* Whisper I love you in his ear while dancing a romantic slow melody.
*Sitting outside under that stars and say, "I have never felt so special before... I owe this to you. I love you."
* Creep up on your lover and whisper I love you in their ear.
* In the middle of your partner's conversation with someone else, lean over and whisper I love you in their ear.
* Scream I love you (name here) on a rollercoaster ride.
* When you know it will be your partner on the phone say I love you right when you answer it.
*Look into her eyes, hold her hands and then silently whisper I love you.
* When you are doing an everyday thing, just look at him, and lean over, give him a little peck and say I love you

I'm sorry that I love you has been cheapened, but you can make is special and meaningful in your situation again!
Best of luck!

Answer 4

i agree but me and my husband still say it alot you can say:

i care for you deeply
i would do anything for you
we have a special bond that only 2 soulmates can share
you make me so happy
before i knew you i was lost but now im found
you make me wanna be a better person
you're my heart
you're my soul
im here for you always...

i could go on lol

Answer 5

give me at least 30 reasons of why those 3 words came out of your mouth, without actually using he word love

Answer 6

I care a great deal for you. I will always treat you kindly and with respect. I will be patient and understanding should we disagree on things. No matter what, I will always be there for you.

Answer 7

I care about you

Answer 8

READ IT CAREFULLY THEN YOU WILL SURELY KNOW WHAT IT IS ....
Love is a condition or phenomenon of emotional primacy, or absolute value. Love generally includes an emotion of intense attraction to either another person, a place, or thing; and may also include the aspect of caring for or finding identification with those objects, including self-love. Love can describe an intense feeling of affection, an emotion or an emotional state. In ordinary use, it usually refers to interpersonal love, an experience usually felt by a person for another person. Love is commonly considered impossible to define.

The concept of love, however, is subject to debate. Some deny the existence of love, calling it a recently invented abstraction. Others maintain that love exists but is indefinable; being a quantity which is spiritual, metaphysical, or philosophical in nature. The views that love does not exist or is indefinable may underlie the fact that approximately 13 percent of cultures have no word for love. [1] [2] The remaining 87 percent attempt to define this abstract concept and apply it to everyday life. Love is one of the most common themes in art and often times is an excuse for " bad art". Some psychologists maintain that love is the abstract action of lending one's "boundary" or "self esteem" to another
Overview

Love has several different meanings in the English language, from something that gives a little pleasure to something for which one would die. And in contrast to the definition at the top, frequently people use the verb "love" to indicate want or desire for themselves as opposed to for another. For example: "I love that lamp," does not refer to desiring wellness for the lamp, but rather to the desire for the lamp. The word also frequently indicates elevated appreciation or admiration: "I love that artist," An individual might state.

Cultural differences make any universal definition of love difficult to establish. Expressions of love may include the love for a soul or mind, the love of laws and organizations, love for a body, love for nature, love of food, love of money, love for learning, love of power, love of fame, and love for the respect of others. Different people place varying degrees of importance on the kinds of love they receive. Love is essentially an abstract concept, easier to experience than to explain. Many believe, as stated originally by Virgil that "Love conquers all", or as stated by The Beatles, "All you need is love". Bertrand Russell describes love as a condition of 'absolute value', as opposed to 'relative value'.


Types


Courtly love – a late medieval conventionalized code prescribing certain conduct and emotions for ladies and their lovers
Erotic love – desire characterized by sexual desires
Familial love – affection brokered through kinship connections, intertwined with concepts of attachment and bonding
Free love – sexual relations according to choice and unrestricted by marriage
Platonic love – a close relationship in which sexual desire is nonexistent or has been suppressed or sublimated
Puppy love – romantic affection that is not "mature" or not "true." The term reflects a bias that love between youngsters is somehow less valid.
Religious love – devotion to one's deity or theology
Romantic love – affection characterized by a mix of emotional and sexual desire
True love - love without condition, motive or attachment. Loving someone just because they are themselves, not their actions or beliefs in particular.
Unrequited love – affection and desire not reciprocated or returned

Scientific views

Throughout history, predominantly, philosophy and religion have speculated the most into the phenomenon of love. In the last century, the science of psychology has written a great deal on the subject. Recently, however, the sciences of evolutionary psychology, evolutionary biology, anthropology, neuroscience, and biology have begun to take centre stage in discussion as to the nature and function of love.

Biological models of sex tend to see it as a mammalian drive, just like hunger or thirst. Psychology sees love as more of a social and cultural phenomenon. Psychologist Robert Sternberg created his Triangular theory of love and argued that love has three different components : Intimacy, Commitment, and Passion. Intimacy is a form where two people can share secrets and various details of their personal lives. Intimacy is usually shown in friendships and romantic love affairs. Commitment on the other hand is the expectation that the relationship is going to last forever. The last and most common form of love is simply sex, or passion. Passionate love is shown in infatuation as well as romantic love. This led researchers such as Yela to further refine the model by seperating Passion into two independents components : Erotic Passion and Romantic Passion.


Cultural views

Although there exist numerous cross-cultural unified similarities as to the nature and definition of love, as in there being a thread of commitment, tenderness, and passion common to all human existence, there are differences. For example, in India, with arranged marriages commonplace, it is believed that love is not a necessary ingredient in the initial stages of marriage – it is something that can be created during the marriage; whereas in Western culture, by comparison, love is seen as a necessary prerequisite to marriage.


Religious views

Love, in the form of subjective devotion, seems to have been originally understood as the proper response to idealised objective natural forces (pagan polytheism). Later religions shifted the emphasis towards single abstractly-oriented objects like God, the law, the book, and the church (formalised monotheism).

Alongiside these two objects of subjective human love (mono and poly), there a third view which recognises a state or truth distinct from (and often antagonistic to) the idea that there is a difference between the subject and the object (pantheism). Love is reality itself, of which we, moving through time, imperfectly interprete ourselves as isolated part.



Definitional issues
Dictionaries tend to define love as deep affection or fondness.[3] In colloquial use, according to polled opinion, the most favoured definitions of love include the words:[4]

life - someone or something for which you would give your life.
care - someone or something about which you care more than yourself.
In common use, care refers to a mental or emotional state of predisposition in which one has an interest or concern for someone or something. To care for someone, may also refer to a disquieted state of mixed uncertainty, apprehension, and responsibility; or a cause for such anxiety. Caring for an object, such as a house, refers to a state of attendant maintenance; or may also refer to a state of charge or supervision, as in under a doctor’s care.
friendship - favoured interpersonal associations or relationships.
union
family - people related via common ancestry.
bond.